Feeling rejected before the official rejection (minor vent)

[Lewis1]

ok so this might sound kinda weird but (here is the story)

I was walking down the street & i said hi to this guy and then he stopped me and struck up a conversation. He said he is from new york and is visiting his brother but his brother is working most of the time and he is bored. And i was just like Oh okay . lol But yeah he wanted me to tell him where he could get a calling card from and I told him. and so we were walking. I said c ya later. (he is african btw)

Okay so Three days later I run into him again and this time he is very excited to see me for some reason. I had just come back from shopping so I had a couple bags and so he said it would be cool if we can be friends. I said yeah sure thing. He said i should come over his apt to chillout with him. I said cool. we exchanged numbers he showed me where he lives.

so I have been playing coy but I am really excited about him for some reason

so later that night i called him and asked would it be okay if i came over tommorow afternoon (which would be yesterday) he said yeah thats great but call me before you come.

I was so excited I went out & gota hair cut new shoes & some new shirts so i can look a lil better than the last couple times he has seen me.

So I do all of that and call him and he says his brother was coming over to take him downtown. Im like oh okay then well we can do it another time then

so with me feeling like I "went all out" i said i have to go out so i went to the post office to handle some business and when i came out he was walking towards the post office parking lot (he lives close to it) and we stopped & talked he said he was waiting for his brother there so his brother showed up but he just told him where he could park in his driveway and the guy drove off there.

he told me i looked good lol (Which he had better cause i put alot of effort into it)

but he said after i come back i promise i will call you and well hang out

so i went home and waited by the phone all night and no call
for some reason i just went into a deep depression

so what is going on with me?

him hanging out with his brother is understandable

but its like i wasn't even paying attention to this dude
and he came up to talk to me and suggested that we hang out

and now its like

im sort of chasing him down & being desperate (although its not as obvious as it sounds)

but i just feel bleh about the whole thing

 

[Croynan]

see if you can get a refund on all those things you bought. he is playing games with you. sorry, but that's what this sounds like. besides, he will be leaving town soon.

eM.

 

[Lewis1]

see if you can get a refund on all those things you bought. he is playing games with you. sorry, but that's what this sounds like. besides, he will be leaving town soon.

eM.

wow thankx for responding lol

i dont want to think he playin games

but it looks like it

lol i dont think i need a refund though

 

[Seasoned]

I think it's a cultural thing. Time has a different meaning. Don't expect anything and don't be too eager. Let him come to you next time.

 

[Lewis1]

I think it's a cultural thing. Time has a different meaning. Don't expect anything and don't be too eager. Let him come to you next time.

thanks for responding

i hope thats the case

its hard not to be to eager though rotf

 

[Lewis1]

I think it's a cultural thing. Time has a different meaning. Don't expect anything and don't be too eager. Let him come to you next time.

lol I tried to let him call me but i had to call him

Update: i called him again and he had just woke up & i asked what he was up to today and he said nothing much but his brother is coming later to pick him up & to call after he gets back

oh boy

that is some serious game playing

 

[Hot White Trash]

I don't know if its game playing. I have been in your exact situation and frankly the guy and I were on different wavelengths.

I met a guy at a party - mixed so gays and straights. We were in the kitchen getting a drink and started chatting and the next thing I know he asks what I was doing the next day. He then said we should do something. He gave me his number and told me to call before lunchtime. I rang him ALL DAY and like a fool I sat in the house waiting for him to call back. He didn't call until like 9 pm and told me he had gone parasailing. Said we could still do something and acted like nothing was wrong.

Sometimes its just how other people are. Doesn't mean they have bad intentions or are playing games. What you have to do is chill. Let him contact you and don't go out of your way. If it works out, great, if not then you know its not worth your time.

Good luck.

 

[altlover85]

How long is this guy going to be visiting? If he's just visiting I would try not to get to worked up over him.

Also as hard as it is, try to let him initiate the contact next time. Then you can see if he is actually interested in spending time with you, or if he is just bullshitting.

When you say African, I'm assuming you mean from Africa and not African American, right?

 

[Lewis1]

How long is this guy going to be visiting? If he's just visiting I would try not to get to worked up over him.

Also as hard as it is, try to let him initiate the contact next time. Then you can see if he is actually interested in spending time with you, or if he is just bullshitting.

When you say African, I'm assuming you mean from Africa and not African American, right?

technically speaking he is african american

but i wouldnt have mentioned it

as i see black guys as american lol

(yes hes from africa)

thanks for responding
i will let him contact me next time
i have got a lil worked up
i mean i didnt really put mself out there this time and still got rejected its not a good feeling

 

[Lewis1]

update:

So i couldnt let this go and i called him again
he asked if i was alone lol i thought that was kinda weird but it was nothing so he came over my place

and when he came over it was like one big blah
we didnt have much in common and once he found out i have long distance he called about 5 - 6 people he kmnew and talked for an hour & a half if he comes back over im sure it would be to talk again on the phone lol

i dont know where i see a friendship with him ending up

 

[Willie Boy]

ok so this might sound kinda weird but (here is the story)

I was walking down the street & i said hi to this guy and then he stopped me and struck up a conversation. He said he is from new york and is visiting his brother but his brother is working most of the time and he is bored. And i was just like Oh okay . lol But yeah he wanted me to tell him where he could get a calling card from and I told him. and so we were walking. I said c ya later. (he is african btw)

Okay so Three days later I run into him again and this time he is very excited to see me for some reason. I had just come back from shopping so I had a couple bags and so he said it would be cool if we can be friends. I said yeah sure thing. He said i should come over his apt to chillout with him. I said cool. we exchanged numbers he showed me where he lives.

so I have been playing coy but I am really excited about him for some reason

so later that night i called him and asked would it be okay if i came over tommorow afternoon (which would be yesterday) he said yeah thats great but call me before you come.

I was so excited I went out & gota hair cut new shoes & some new shirts so i can look a lil better than the last couple times he has seen me.

So I do all of that and call him and he says his brother was coming over to take him downtown. Im like oh okay then well we can do it another time then

so with me feeling like I "went all out" i said i have to go out so i went to the post office to handle some business and when i came out he was walking towards the post office parking lot (he lives close to it) and we stopped & talked he said he was waiting for his brother there so his brother showed up but he just told him where he could park in his driveway and the guy drove off there.

he told me i looked good lol (Which he had better cause i put alot of effort into it)

but he said after i come back i promise i will call you and well hang out

so i went home and waited by the phone all night and no call
for some reason i just went into a deep depression

so what is going on with me?

him hanging out with his brother is understandable

but its like i wasn't even paying attention to this dude
and he came up to talk to me and suggested that we hang out

and now its like

im sort of chasing him down & being desperate (although its not as obvious as it sounds)

but i just feel bleh about the whole thing

Sounds to me like he's picking up on your clingy vibe. You need to learn how to chill out and not expect a relationship from a bored stranger who just appreciates having someone to talk to.

 

[altlover85]

I would move on. There's nothing there for you. Are you telling us that he came over to see you and just used your phone the whole time?

 

[Lewis1]

I would move on. There's nothing there for you. Are you telling us that he came over to see you and just used your phone the whole time?

yeap but i dont think thats why he came originally but yeah thats what wound up happening
okay lol i feel a lil better now about moving on

(sigh)

 

[Hot White Trash]

Sometimes we need to get something or someone out of our system and if a few long distance phone calls did the trick for you, it was well worth it.