Feeling scared and alone...

[MrCreative]

Ok..so I've come to terms with the fact that most guys cheat on their boyfriends..in fact, because of that, im kinda afraid to get into another relationship with a guy because I dont want to get hurt. Can all you guys that are in monagamous relationships just tell me so in this thread.. I just need some inspiration so I don't end up giving up on relationships. :]

I guess I just want to be with a guy and I'll be his..and have a happily ever after. <3

 

[M4P]

Hi there

I've been in a monagamous relationship with the same guy since Jan 1997. It is possible

 

[Richardodessa]

Since May 16, 1999 with no cheating on either side.

 

[Seasoned]

I'd say be patient and don't expect to fall in love with every person you're attracted to. Put yourself in safe positions to meet lots of people. Do a little research on the topics of love and relationship addiction to see if those are issues for you. Stay away from guys that are emotionally indifferent towards you. Keep your interests,your friends and family while hooked up with someone and work on the notion that you are an independent person with a lot to offer. Enjoy life.

 

[MrCreative]

feeling better

I shouldnt have put the cheating label on gay/bi guys, I shouldnt have made that label at all because now that ive had a moment of clarity..i realized that i shouldnt let other people influence me to the point where my life becomes less than enjoyable. Since I'm done with feeling like that.... I think I shall dub this thread the "celebrate your monagamous relationship" thread. :]

 

[screwnutty]

There are guys out there that won't cheat on you...like this one!

Hell I'd be happy to have a boyfriend and when or if I get one...I will only have eyes for him. My love doesn't roam!!

well he might have to compete with David Tennant but...

 

[panda29]

I'm going on 3 years now & happy

 

[tallguy297]

Re: feeling better

I shouldnt have put the cheating label on gay/bi guys, I shouldnt have made that label at all because now that ive had a moment of clarity..i realized that i shouldnt let other people influence me to the point where my life becomes less than enjoyable. Since I'm done with feeling like that.... I think I shall dub this thread the "celebrate your monagamous relationship" thread. :]

Good for you Schuylerrr!!!!

And that is the secret to not only your happiness but your success in relationships. Knowing that you are worthy of one, of a partner that loves and respects you and most of all knowing that you have to respect yourself. Happiness comes from the inside and when you beleive that you are the kind of guy that others find attractive in every sense of the word then you wont actually need to hear it.

With every reward we seek there can be risk. A realtionship is no different... when you give its possible that you can hurt. The fact that you have given in the past is a sign of who you are and that you trust and have faith in others. Mate, your courage to get up dust yourself off, learn the lessons and move on is a great sign. That strength will be what allows you to know your place and find happiness in yourself. Then Schuylerrr, you will be able to share that happiness with someone you love!

 

[rareboy]

25 years...no cheating.

 

[duroc5088]

Going on two years and things couldn't be better. Both of us have an undying trust and love for one another and we both like getting our nooky right here at home.

Dirk

 

[bluedragon4]

It's gotta be hard when your 20. A lot of options. Can that many guys really stay faithful at 20?

 

[tallguy297]

It's gotta be hard when your 20. A lot of options. Can that many guys really stay faithful at 20?

Staying faithful is a choice and a personal decison. There's no less reason for a 20 year old to stay faithful than there is a 35 or 45 year old...

By his own admission Schuylerrr has made the observation that he shouldnt have labelled and let himself be controlled by others. I'm sure hes figured out that gay guys are no more likely to cheat than any other...and he's right.

Theres no need for us to dwell or try and find evidence that we as a gay community are more prone to cheat or be unfaithful or lonely or scared. These are traits and features that everyone carries and exhibits... not just us. We too get hurt by others who lie and deceive and yet no one is try to convince us that this these emotions are more prevalent in the gay community...

Schuylerrr is right. The minute we choose to leave these unfounded stereotypes that we as a community seem so intent on reinforcing, the happier and more content we will all be. I admire and respect his self realization - that says a whole lot about the man. He's in control of his decisions and emotions - as we all are...and hes chosen not to let these things prevent him from being happy. Pretty hard not admire really....

 

[MrCreative]

Hey guys..
Your comments have made my day!!! btw, my real name is Schuyler. XD (just thought id give you an insight) hahah! Love ya!

 

[bluedragon4]

Guess I'll have to re-think my thinking since every-time I post a comment a moderator comes on and tells me I'm wrong.

 

[miketlow]

Ok..so I've come to terms with the fact that most guys cheat on their boyfriends..in fact, because of that, im kinda afraid to get into another relationship with a guy because I dont want to get hurt. Can all you guys that are in monagamous relationships just tell me so in this thread.. I just need some inspiration so I don't end up giving up on relationships. :]

I guess I just want to be with a guy and I'll be his..and have a happily ever after. <3

No cheating....One year and counting......It is possible..

 

[Oden_grey]

It's gotta be hard when your 20. A lot of options. Can that many guys really stay faithful at 20?

I'd have to agree with you there. The younger you are the more the dating world seems like a buffet... you pretty much put everything on your plate until it starts spilling. I think this possibly the same for straights too. I've noticed through my observation that older people tend to want stability and companionship more and thus stick to LTRs. I mean when you're college age you live in dorms or go to class and everyone's going here and there, to parties, eating together, etc. Having a relationship at that age is more like icing on the cake... you can lock your room and screw your girlfriend or boyfriend when the urge arises... then go out with friends to party, study, eat out... whatever afterwards.

In the real work world, most adults will rarely have time to socialize with work, familial responsibilities and whatnot. I think in that sense a LTR partner can serve two fronts, as a good friend and as a lover. You get to live with this person, eat together, and go and have fun. This person would be singularly interested in you. I think that while the youthful hormones are racing about, you shouldn't expect relationships to last, or flourish when the only basis is mutually perpetual hardons and a sense of novelty and excitement. I mean, any good looking guy can give you a hardon, but what will you do when the hormones die down? Talk about the weather?... especially when there are so many other young, good looking guys who give you hardons while they stroll about on your campus?

Personally, I'm a traditionalist. I strive to be a moral person so cheating is not an option. I feel that if the need to cheat comes often, it's prudent to end the relationship rather than being perpetually dishonest and cruel to your lover. IMHO it is better to break your lover's heart being faithful than to live a lie in infidelity and sadism.

 

[tallguy297]

Guess I'll have to re-think my thinking since every-time I post a comment a moderator comes on and tells me I'm wrong.

Dont feel the need to rethink on my behalf bluedragon, I posted that point of view as Tallguy297, not a moderator. My advice or opinion isn't law just because I have the word moderator under my name.

You asked a valid question... maybe its given Schuyler pause to wonder about his expectations of others and himself.

I really do still think that its possible for him to find plenty of guys his age who would happily settle into a monogamous relationship. This thread as he hoped for is now proof that quality relationships exist at all stages for all ages.

Now that IS worth celebrating.

 

[spreadeagle]

Get Real! 'Happy ever after' is for fairy tales and no one has ever survived a long term relationship without being hurt.

Relationships are about trust, communication and forgiveness. Some have a sell-by date and when you've learned what you need to know from the relationship it's time to move on - there are no brownie points for longevity - it's the quality, not the quantity that counts.

When you hit a sticky patch you either cower under the bedclothes and wallow in self-pity, or you pay attention to what the issue is trying to teach you. Enduring relationships are not for the timorous.

 

[boy0boy]

It's gotta be hard when your 20. A lot of options. Can that many guys really stay faithful at 20?

Sorry can't help but think what the underlying message is here. When you're older you run out of options or have less?

I dunno, seems like although it may be true about it being harder when you're younger, it still is a pretty vague generalization.

I would never cheat. It just depends on the persons morals.

 

[mac_twck]

Cheating has nothing to do with how old you are but your integrity. If you are in a committed relationship at 20 or 70 and you ARE committed then you will not cheat.

If at 20 (or 70) you want to sample the buffet every night then do not have a boyfriend, play and have fun.

Love and intergrity will tell you when it is time to commit to someone.

Mac