feelings for my best friend...

[gsdx]

Tough one, this. I think not talking to him might ruin your friendship faster than talking to him. If you keep it inside you, it might lead to jealousy and bitterness.

Wow. A really tough one.

 

[gsdx]

Perhaps he has never even considered that you might have feelings for him simply because you are best friends. Who knows? He may have been avoiding the subject with you for the very same reason.

To be honest, I don't think telling him how you feel would hurt your friendship, though, even if he tells you, "Sorry, I don't feel that way about you." I doubt if he would stop being your friend because of it.

 

[gsdx]

I'm going by personal experience, you understand. When I first came out and started making gay friends, sometimes many years passed before we finally got around to talking to each other and realized we both wanted to get together. I suppose the only reason we didn't earlier is because we were friends first. We didn't go into it with 'relationship' in mind.

That may be your situation as well. You won't know if you don't talk to him, though. If he's your 'best friend', he'll be flattered rather than angry.

 

[gsdx]

If you ask a Moderator (links are at the bottom of the forum), they will move this thread into the 'Coming out' forum for you.

 

[gsdx]

Sorry, I was eating dinner.

For future reference, you click on one of the name links at the bottom of the forum. It will take you to their profile. You check to see if they are online (the green light near their photo in the profile) and send them a Personal Message.

Bashfulkid is online now: http://www.justusboys.com/forum/member.php?u=5768

Click the link above, then click the 'Personal Message' in his profile and ask him to move this thread. Tell him where it is, the title (or copy and paste the link to this thread) and where you would like to move it.

 

[slobone]

StLHotboi21, my advice is not to get in the middle between your friend and his boyfriend. That's usually not a good idea. Even if they're having problems already, you'll be a convenient scapegoat for what's wrong with the relationship. In the end, they'll both resent you.

Anyway, it can be kind of enjoyable to be "just friends" with somebody you also have sexual feelings for. It can add a pleasant spice to the friendship. As long as you know where the boundaries are, you can even kind of semi-flirt with him, if you can do it in a way that doesn't piss his boyfriend off.

So the lesson for today is -- you don't always have to act on the sexual feelings you have for somebody. Sometimes you just have to keep your dick in your pants.

 

[Eagle653]

Best-friend crushes are one of the toughest ones around. Seeing as he has a boyfriend, I can guarantee you that he will not take kindly to your crush--unless, of course, the relationship with the b/f is on the skids and he's looking for a way out. But, do you really want to be a party to that?

Anyway, I think most of us have had crushes on people who were just unavailable to us--because they were straight, because we worked with them, because they were in-laws, because, because, because...

It's one of those facts-of-life. There are some things we can't have, and I think he's one of them for you. Divulging your interest in him may very well end your friendship, if only because he can then wonder if your interest in being friends is really rooted (only) in your interest in getting him into bed. That could make him extremely uncomfortable--so much so that he starts avoiding you. That would be a shame. Please tread very lightly here--I'm afraid you're playing with fire on this one.

 

[jockboy01]

Yeah, I agree with your decision. Timing doesn't sound right. I whole-heartedly agree with averageguy's assessment here.

 

[slobone]

I've been thinking about him all day and thinking and thinking and thinking, and i'm thinking he's not right well not right for me, not right now anyways at the rate he goes through guys (like 4 or 5 in the last two months), i'm not so sure he'd be looking for a realationship anyways at this point. and if i did have anything with him i would want a real realationship that's just the kind of guy i want i love his personality, i love being around him, i just freaking love him so much, and i always will i'm sure, but we're not right for eachother not right now anyways. anyways thank all of you who are giving me advise it's all really helpful.

OK -- take a deep breath. Calm down. If you want a relationship with him, and he just wants to fool around with a lot of guys, then he's not the kind of guy you want.

There are two ways to go with this. One is to follow your head -- figure who you are and what you want, and only go after that kind of guy. The other is to follow your heart -- just let yourself go where life leads you and not worry about the future.

We all do both of these at one time or another. Each way has its advantages and disadvantages. Unfortunately the two ways don't mix very well.

As for this guy, the good news is that at the rate he goes through boyfriends he should be available any minute now. j/k