The Original Gay Porn Community - Free Gay Movies and Photos, Gay Porn Site Reviews and Adult Gay Forums

  • Welcome To Just Us Boys - The World's Largest Gay Message Board Community

    In order to comply with recent US Supreme Court rulings regarding adult content, we will be making changes in the future to require that you log into your account to view adult content on the site.
    If you do not have an account, please register.
    REGISTER HERE - 100% FREE / We Will Never Sell Your Info

    PLEASE READ: To register, turn off your VPN (iPhone users- disable iCloud); you can re-enable the VPN after registration. You must maintain an active email address on your account: disposable email addresses cannot be used to register.

  • The Support & Advice forum is a no-flame zone.
    The members offering support and advice do so with the best intention. If you ask for advice, we don't require you to take the advice, but we do ask that you listen and give it consideration.

Feelings for straight best friend-- Advice

C

catee222

Slut
Banned
Joined
Jun 20, 2007
Posts
187
Reaction score
0
Points
0
I'm a closeted bi and have recently started to develop feelings for my straight friend. We've been good friends for a few years, but for a couple of months now I have wanted to hook up with him. He has never been with a girl before (at least to my knowledge, he's not open about everything) and doesn't talk about girls much in general, but he's been talking online constantly with a mutual female friend of ours who I think he likes (he's not admitting it though), so this leads me to think that he really is straight yet shy. I don't know where I'm going with this. I'd like to have some fun with him yet the friendship is important to me and I don't want it to end. I'd like to know if any of you have been in a similar situation and how you handled it--what are some ways to get the feelings to stop? It's not easy to distance myself from him because we have a lot of mutual friends and we work together during the week. Thanks for listening.
 
Once you are able to begin coming out you'll have an outlet for your sex drive without involving your friends in your fantasies. It's natural to look for an easy out. Even if he were gay or bi it wouldn't automatically mean he'd be sexually attracted to you.
 
Let's break it down:

Straight - heterosexual orientation a.k.a only attracted to women.

Best friend - Your comrade and most valued friend.

Where does sex fit in this equation?
 
I would just look at him as off limits if you value your friendship with him. The same thing happened to me when I was starting to come out and I told my friend I was having feelings for him. He said he'd "never had any interest in that" and that was the end of it. Things were never the same between us after that. He hooked up with a girl who was a friend of both of ours which made me feel even worse.
Find another guy who you KNOW is gay or bi to fool around with. You're never going to "convert" a straight guy, despite what all the gay porn sites claim.
 
catee222 said:
I'd like to know if any of you have been in a similar situation and how you handled it--what are some ways to get the feelings to stop? It's not easy to distance myself from him because we have a lot of mutual friends and we work together during the week. Thanks for listening.
Click to expand...

Oh my! I am in a similar situation, only worse! I am in love with a very good friend of mine, but in my situation it's very intense.
I could never handle it, so this continues the way it is... Feelings are not like a CD-player, you can't either press stop to stop them or press pause or play! I wish it was this way, but unforunately...
I have survived through all this so I guess you can make it too! And believe me I know what you are through, cause I've been having this problem but as I told you before much more intensely.
The only thing you could do is to try to find out if he's bi or not. Then you can try some "moves", but don't forget: He's your FRIEND! Don't ruin it.
I hope I helped you!
(You can PM me if you want to ask anything more about my situation).
 
I would just look at him as off limits if you value your friendship with him. The same thing happened to me when I was starting to come out and I told my friend I was having feelings for him. He said he'd "never had any interest in that" and that was the end of it. Things were never the same between us after that. He hooked up with a girl who was a friend of both of ours which made me feel even worse.
Find another guy who you KNOW is gay or bi to fool around with. You're never going to "convert" a straight guy, despite what all the gay porn sites claim.
 
Listen to Soreknees.

All of you you have this fantasy crush instead of coming out and then going out and finding actual gay guys to fall in love with.

Your problem is so normal.

But as you mature and discover that there are really great guys out there who will fuck you and kiss you at the same time, you'll look back on your crushes with wry humour....hopefully.
 
Whenever someone makes a post about being in one of these situations people always say "go for it and see what happens!" Am I the only one who thinks that maybe that's not a great idea?


I feel for you..but, I kind of feel like this won't turn out the way you hope it might. You say you think you may be in love with him, and then you also say that he's pretty conservative and if he gay/bi, most likely deeply in the closet. What all this means is that he is not even remotely ready to give you what I think you want. I mean, if you were just looking to get off, that would be one thing. But if you have genuine feelings for him I really do urge you to hold off on pursuing this. Come out to him for sure, if you feel close enough to him to do it. However, I feel like it you tried to instigate something physical, you could end up fooling around with him, but he may not be able to emotionally give you what you're after. There's a good chance you'd end up with some on-the-DL sex and while you get more and more emotionally attached to him, he continues to stay in the closet and in denial, at least for a while. If he means that much to you, do you really just want to be the guy he experimented with that made him realize "golly gee, maybe I really do like cock after all"? I don't think so.

I guess what I mean ultimately is just proceed with caution.
 
people always say "go for it and see what happens!" Am I the only one who thinks that maybe that's not a great idea?
Click to expand...

I have no idea what threads you're reading, but they're certainly not on this forum and you obviously didn't read all the posts before yours.

The overwhelming concensus on every thread like this is...

Don't be an idiot. Leave it alone.
 
If you really want to hook up with him, you're gonna have to take the first step. And that first step isn't getting him drunk and giving him a blowjob. That first step is telling him you're bisexual.

Lex
 
rareboy said:
I have no idea what threads you're reading, but they're certainly not on this forum and you obviously didn't read all the posts before yours.

The overwhelming concensus on every thread like this is...

Don't be an idiot. Leave it alone.
Click to expand...


The only idiot around here is me. I meant to post this in response on another thread. Whoopsie! ](*,)
 
Thanks everyone. I hope I can get over him relatively quickly, but I have a feeling that in the near future he will get with the girl he's been talking to online. I want to feel happy for him, really I do, but I know I'm going to feel extremely jealous--maybe because he'll have someone and I won't. ](*,)
 
>>>I know I'm going to feel extremely jealous--maybe because he'll have someone and I won't.

So stop feeling jealous/sorry for yourself, and spend that energy on finding someone for yourself. :)

Lex
 
^ Ditto. Nip that bad behavioural response right in the bud.

There's no reason to be jealous. Except laziness and/or character deficit.

Snap out of it.
 
I have always been attracted to straight guys and making a move on one outed me to my family. I've been caught up like you before and been turned down a couple times but then quickly recovered and moved on. If you think he is worth it then make a move by telling him you like him and need his understanding and confidence. either way once you see him with a female you will easily moved on - trust me it will be easy.
 
Thought I'd give you all an update. In a nutshell, I feel like shit.

Not only have my feelings been getting stronger for him, he told me about a week ago that he likes the girl. To his face, I'm being supportive of this and have been trying to give him the confidence to ask her out (he hasn't yet and tells me he's afraid to). But deep down, and I know this sounds mean, I want to do what I can to cockblock him; it's very tempting at times, but I can't let my selfishness get in the way and it will only make things worse between us. Meanwhile there are a couple of girls I met recently that I'd like to have some fun with to get my mind off him. We'll see what happens.

I'm also thinking of coming out to him. He told me he doesn't care who is gay/bi as long as they don't try to make any moves on him (sounds like a good sign that he wouldn't leave me as a friend, I'd hope). I also told him the same thing, so any closeted gay/bi person can say that, right? Ugh now I'm still hoping he's at least bi, not good. ](*,) But I still have my suspicions because he never talks about girls unless I or someone else brings it up first and he just follows what everyone says. Also, I've noticed he doesn't stare at good looking girls walking passed us, even when he's wearing sunglasses.
 
If you're thirsty, there are three things you can do.

You can get up and go get something to drink.
You can ask someone to get you a drink.
Or you can sit around hoping somebody will give you a drink.

The last one is the one most likely to result in dehydration.

Stop sitting around waiting for someone to give you a drink. It ain't gonna happen. Tell your friend you're bi, or better yet, go find yourself somebody who's gay, out, and interested in getting into a relationship. They ARE out there.

Lex
 
you need to takes steps to meet someone who you know is gay. you can still be this guy's best friend, but when you're on the prowl for someone else too, it'll help lighten your infatuation for your friend.
 
All you have at the moment is this fantasy crush instead of coming out and then going out and finding actual gay guys to fall in love with.
Click to expand...

There. I've corrected the original. I must have been drunk.

But c'mon snap out of it.

Before someone loses an eye.
 
You should aim for someone you know you can have, someone who is into guys for a start. Or you can come out to your friend. Though the 2nd option doesn't mean that he will take you. It is painful falling for the straight male friend, but once you surround yourself by guys you one you appeal to then you might not like your friend as much.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top