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feelings?

The lad of night

The lad of night

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The title kind explains my query sort of. I'm a guy near the end of my teen yrs with an extensive sexual background. I find sex to be just a physical release that can be shared , but is ultimately an independant thing. (I know thats a mouthful, but bear with me ) of late I've met a person that makes me 'feel' for him in more than just a sexual aspect . Id say that is where things get complicated for me because feelings arent exaclty my area of expertise. Its a consensual thing right now ( the whole 'we like each other ' thing)honesty I'd hate to call it the L word. I fear that just accepting it could leave me in some trance persay, Im afraid that if the word were to slip id feel like some defenseless child again giving someone else power over me .I guess I could attest to growing up and seeing the bad side of what falling In love can make one do ( become a head over heels idiot). I think about another human being other than myself and fam and it bothers me and I often wonder should I just cut off all ties with this guy. I mean is it worth it ? Sticking my neck out for something that could very well come crashing down? ( excuse my stark pessimism its a learned habit :p) but serousily the hells with all this feelings fuckery any thoughts?
 
Hehe, you´ve fallen for someone for the first time, it seems. No problem, we all have been through it. Is it wrong, is it right, am I changing who I am because of this, will I look like an imbecil if he says no etc. My advice is this: go with the flow. You like him, tell him. See what happens. What´s the worst, he says no? No problem, it will be easier to get over him and find somebody else if that is what you want.

He told you he likes you, this is more than enough to push things further.
 
It could come crashing down, but it could also lift you to the highest heights. It's a risk that you take each and every time you open up your heart to somebody else. You'll have to decide for yourself whether you're ready to take that risk and what you think stand to gain and/or lose from it. Ask yourself: how is it working for you, keeping everybody at a minimum safe distance so that they can neither hurt you nor really get to know you? Realize though that you cannot shut out feelings by shutting out other people, for that is an ultimately self-detrimental process that comes with a host of feelings of its own: fear, loneliness, insecurity, you name it. The only difference is that in the latter case it's just you hurting yourself.

Feelings are in some sense things you grow and cultivate: they have to be lived through in order to get to know them and align them with your interests and what the world has to offer. People mature by simultaneously staying emotionally engaged to the world and allowing the world to give them feedback on their emotions. That takes trust and sometimes a leap of faith. If you believe you can trust this guy, then by all means: go for it. You can start by telling him how you feel.

If falling in love makes you feel like a defenseless child, I think it's very likely that the last time somebody came this close to you emotionally is when in fact you were a defenseless child. You can bring that child into maturity, but only by picking up the emotional thread where you left it. Best of luck.
 
In order to really grow up and become an adult you have to explore all sorts of feelings. It would be great if we could be happy all the time but in order to really experience happiness you must also know what it is like to be sad. In my opinion you cannot have one without the other. As humans we learn the most by experiencing everything that life has to offer, if we choose to ignore some feelings in favor of others will you really be able to say that you are an experienced person? Never shy away from new feelings and experiences you will be a more complete person if you savor all the flavors.
 
Ask yourself: how is it working for you, keeping everybody at a minimum safe distance so that they can neither hurt you nor really get to know you? Realize though that you cannot shut out feelings by shutting out other people, for that is an ultimately self-detrimental process that comes with a host of feelings of its own: fear, loneliness, insecurity, you name it. The only difference is that in the latter case it's just you hurting yourself.
If falling in love makes you feel like a defenseless child, I think it's very likely that the last time somebody came this close to you emotionally is when in fact you were a defenseless child. You can bring that child into maturity, but only by picking up the emotional thread where you left it. Best of luck.[/QUOTE]


..yea I can feel the insecurity a little bit. I think I may just take that take the dive and let my feeling flow for once ...this'll be an adventure to remember for me ....thanks people (o)
 
dude youre overthinking things.

just keep banging him, say "i love you" if and when you feel that way. whats the worst that can happen? that he leaves you and your heart breaks. so? its not pleasant but its part of life.
 
The lad of night said:
..yea I can feel the insecurity a little bit. I think I may just take that take the dive and let my feeling flow for once ...this'll be an adventure to remember for me ....thanks people (o)
Click to expand...

Take care now and good luck exploring! And maybe come back some day and tell us a bit about your adventures.
 
Relationships are a gamble and you have to be willing to open up and make yourself vulnerable. It's tough but that's the risk of love.

That being said, I would say 90% of all FWB or fuckbuddy "relationships" end when one actually starts to develop feelings for the other. I'm not saying yours is doomed but something to keep in mind when the phrase "no strings attached" comes up.
 
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