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First bad experience

  • Thread starter Thread starter Croft85
  • Start date Start date
C

Croft85

Guest
I thought I would share my first experience with a guy (short story it was bad) we don't even get to have sex. It happened back in January 2018. It was with my upstairs neighbor at the time, I call him Jon, black guy twink nice but I was never attracted to him. I was drinking we were talking out side he said he always like me. So I said my not. We went in to my room. And to my shock he did crack. I didn't not my thing. Well any way it was just a bad experience. 1 he could not stay hard I was actually bored giving him a bj. 2 he offered me money so he wouldn't have to use a condom 3 he want me to "do things" then is more but you get the idea. I was offended so I called it off. Hope my next one is better.
 
Oops I meant to to post this in the other . place sorry if thats a problem
 
Do you feel like you learned something from this experience that will change your future experiences?
 
That sounds horrible. I hope my first time goes better, if I even can find a first time
 
Croft85 said:
Not really no. I guess it show that I'm really for sex
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Well, you didn't really ask for advice but after being the mod in forums for a few years, your first experience is not unusual in that many guys have a first time that lands somewhere between "bad sex" and "too drunk to remember sex". It's a shame but when it comes to losing their "virginity", a lot of gay guys just go into the experience just wanting to get the [first] deed done.

A few of suggestions for lessons learned:
  1. Don't have sex with guys who are into party and play (PnP), especially if they're doing meth or crack. If the guy isn't enjoying what the two of you are doing without chemical assistance, he's not any good at it.
  2. Don't be pressured into doing things that you don't want to do. Especially if it involves drugs, alcohol or putting things into holes without condoms on them. If they're pressuring you, get up and leave (or if it is your place, tell them it's time for them to go).
  3. Get familiar with the block features on your phone and your social media. They will come in handy.
  4. Don't have sex with someone "just because". If you can't come up with a good reason for having sex with them and they can't give you a good reason for having sex with them, the chances are good that it will be "bad sex".
 
Croft85 said:
I didn't post it to get advice I just wanted to share
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We know you didn't ask for advice, but you should take it, given that it costs you nothing and your first experience would suggest that you might find it useful. Instead of "hoping" your next one is better, you can actually increase the chances of it being better by taking KaraBulut's advice, and others that respond.

We respond because we have empathy for you, and want you to avoid misfortunes, so that you can have a fruitful and enjoyable experience exploring sex with men.
 
Croft85 said:
I didn't post it to get advice I just wanted to share
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Sorry there is a miss understandimg, I miss read the reply he give me. I thought he was asking why I posted and I just saying. I wasn't trying to be an ass
 
Croft85 said:
Sorry there is a miss understandimg, I miss read the reply he give me. I thought he was asking why I posted and I just saying. I wasn't trying to be an ass
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I didn't take it personally and it's also the reason that I opened the post saying, "...you didn't really ask for advice...".

If there's a message that I would give to any young gay guy who is new the scene, it's that you have to tell yourself that you deserve better.

It's tough for LGBT to come out of their teenage years with self-confidence and a good self-image. There's still a lot of negativity that comes from a society that still equates "straight" and "normal".

You have to believe in yourself and your own self-worth.
 
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