Hey guys, I signed up here several weeks ago but this is my first post.
I'll start by saying that since I finished my school life last year a lot of my friends have moved away - most are now 300 miles away at college, while I'm working in my hometown. So basically I've lost many friends. In fact, when I've gone to call or text some of them all I've gotten is a "who's this?" in return - they've deleted my number, basically. In this time the only person I've really had to talk to was my wonderful boyfriend, who's done a lot for me. He helped me come out to my parents, and he's always - ALWAYS - been here for me.
In all we've been together for 14 months. We were initially together in October 2007, but had a six month break at one point while I finished school; we've since been back together for nine and a half months. We've had our share of disagreements and a few arguments, but it has never been the "go away and never come back" sort of thing. Anyway, this whole mess started on Tuesday night. A couple weeks ago he finished up some of his studies and passed a course he was doing. He didn't tell me until Tuesday night - when I asked if he was going to his class the next day. When he said he'd finished I merely said "oh, well it would've been nice to know". He took some kind of offense to this and immediately left (I was texting him because we don't live together). I thought I'd give him the rest of the night to calm down. So I text him the next morning I decided to text him to make sure he's ok. No answer. I was worrying all day. When I got off work I decided to send a message saying "I love you". In return, I got "we're done".
The only reason he will give me for this is "you bring me down" - apparently I depress him and force my problems onto him. It's not true and I have no idea where he got it from. He refuses to give me any other answer, if I ask I just get a "I ALREADY TOLD YOU!!".
He also can't make up his mind whether this is a break or if it's a 'for good' thing - the day after it he insisted that we were never going to get together again. The next day he said that we could, we'd just have to see what happens. Yesterday morning, it changed again - back to "never", with him saying that he lied to me the day before. Then last night it was once again "we'll see how things work out for us". Today - what do you know - it's once again back to "never".
It's really starting to get to me. I want to give him space so that he can calm down, but I also want reassurance. I care about the guy so much, and I love him dearly. The night of this falling out we were actually talking about how we were going to move in together, which we were planning to do in the next few months. Many times he told me that he loved me and that he never wanted to lose me. Which makes this entire thing even weirder. He says he still cares but that "the love is gone". I refuse to believe this, because of what I said above about how the very night this started he was saying how much he loved me.
He refuses to talk to me about his problems, and can't seem to make up his mind about anything. Should I just give him space for a few days and then try and talk to him again? I just don't see why he'd start treating me like this over virtually nothing - he's acting like none of the last year and a half, that none of the days spent together, that none of the sex, that none of the 'I love you's meant anything. It's really starting to get to me, and there's no one I can turn to. I don't want to get my parents involved and, as I said at the start of my post, I don't really have any friends to talk to about it - they've pretty much ditched me just because I dont live near them anymore. I've written him a letter that currently takes up three entire pages in a Pages document and am considering sending it to him in the next few weeks. Obviously not anytime real soon, but in the future at least - considering he refuses to text me or talk to me in person. I'm thinking it could do better then anything else, I know that he keeps the very first letter I wrote him in his wallet, and that he didn't throw it out or remove it at all even when we weren't together for those six months.
Any help and reassurance would be appreciated guys. I'm in a rut, I'm at a dead end, I miss my boy and feel so let down and hurt, I just don't know what to do.
I'll start by saying that since I finished my school life last year a lot of my friends have moved away - most are now 300 miles away at college, while I'm working in my hometown. So basically I've lost many friends. In fact, when I've gone to call or text some of them all I've gotten is a "who's this?" in return - they've deleted my number, basically. In this time the only person I've really had to talk to was my wonderful boyfriend, who's done a lot for me. He helped me come out to my parents, and he's always - ALWAYS - been here for me.
In all we've been together for 14 months. We were initially together in October 2007, but had a six month break at one point while I finished school; we've since been back together for nine and a half months. We've had our share of disagreements and a few arguments, but it has never been the "go away and never come back" sort of thing. Anyway, this whole mess started on Tuesday night. A couple weeks ago he finished up some of his studies and passed a course he was doing. He didn't tell me until Tuesday night - when I asked if he was going to his class the next day. When he said he'd finished I merely said "oh, well it would've been nice to know". He took some kind of offense to this and immediately left (I was texting him because we don't live together). I thought I'd give him the rest of the night to calm down. So I text him the next morning I decided to text him to make sure he's ok. No answer. I was worrying all day. When I got off work I decided to send a message saying "I love you". In return, I got "we're done".
The only reason he will give me for this is "you bring me down" - apparently I depress him and force my problems onto him. It's not true and I have no idea where he got it from. He refuses to give me any other answer, if I ask I just get a "I ALREADY TOLD YOU!!".
He also can't make up his mind whether this is a break or if it's a 'for good' thing - the day after it he insisted that we were never going to get together again. The next day he said that we could, we'd just have to see what happens. Yesterday morning, it changed again - back to "never", with him saying that he lied to me the day before. Then last night it was once again "we'll see how things work out for us". Today - what do you know - it's once again back to "never".
It's really starting to get to me. I want to give him space so that he can calm down, but I also want reassurance. I care about the guy so much, and I love him dearly. The night of this falling out we were actually talking about how we were going to move in together, which we were planning to do in the next few months. Many times he told me that he loved me and that he never wanted to lose me. Which makes this entire thing even weirder. He says he still cares but that "the love is gone". I refuse to believe this, because of what I said above about how the very night this started he was saying how much he loved me.
He refuses to talk to me about his problems, and can't seem to make up his mind about anything. Should I just give him space for a few days and then try and talk to him again? I just don't see why he'd start treating me like this over virtually nothing - he's acting like none of the last year and a half, that none of the days spent together, that none of the sex, that none of the 'I love you's meant anything. It's really starting to get to me, and there's no one I can turn to. I don't want to get my parents involved and, as I said at the start of my post, I don't really have any friends to talk to about it - they've pretty much ditched me just because I dont live near them anymore. I've written him a letter that currently takes up three entire pages in a Pages document and am considering sending it to him in the next few weeks. Obviously not anytime real soon, but in the future at least - considering he refuses to text me or talk to me in person. I'm thinking it could do better then anything else, I know that he keeps the very first letter I wrote him in his wallet, and that he didn't throw it out or remove it at all even when we weren't together for those six months.
Any help and reassurance would be appreciated guys. I'm in a rut, I'm at a dead end, I miss my boy and feel so let down and hurt, I just don't know what to do.
