first relationship, long term, likely ending

[Seasoned]

Sorry that you are hurting. Relationships require work and a willingness on the part of both to communicate. Begin by finding out why he is rejecting couples counseling. Good luck to you especially if you work together.

 

[rareboy]

Well. I can only recommend easing up.

If, after 2 years, your bf thinks it is over, it is over, whether you want it to go back to the way it was or not.

So walk to work together and don't crowd him for awhile and see whether you can at least remain close friends.

I assume that you were not living together?

 

[KaraBulut]

Even though your partner did not go to couples counseling, you should go on your own.

You don't give details about the issues that caused the breakup but it would be worthwhile for you to work on those issues on your own. And counseling will also help you work through the breakup issues so that you can maintain a healthy friendship wth your ex.

 

[FabFairy]

Kinda bland on detail!! What caused the breakup? If one of you were playing around on the side then forget it and move on.

If it is a lesser reason then give him time and you need to look at the circumstances why you broke up. See if there is anything you could have done to prevent it and if there is take steps to improve the situation.

With time there may be a change of heart especially if he can see you making an effort without pressuring him. Time is always a great healer and we do tend to remember the good times more often than not. Break up are never one sided so you should get your problems sorted out now if it doesn't come to pass that you renew your relationship then at least you have started to build for a better future.

 

[TygreBryte]

Even though your partner did not go to couples counseling, you should go on your own.

You don't give details about the issues that caused the breakup but it would be worthwhile for you to work on those issues on your own. And counseling will also help you work through the breakup issues so that you can maintain a healthy friendship wth your ex.

I'm with that.

I think I'd even want to break from walking to work together. Given that you know you want to stay together, and at this point he apparently does not, I think walking to work together would lend kind of a "heaviness" to the situation that in the long run wouldn't be helpful.

 

[SonOfSlobone]

This sounds like one of those one-sided breakups, where he wanted to break up and you didn't. If so, it could be that you're in denial about it, and hoping for something that isn't likely to happen.

If that's the case, I think you'll be better off in the long run if you stop seeing him for a while. No more walks to work, etc.

If the breakup really is final, you need to break the habit of letting him be the most important thing in your life. Being near him all the time won't really heal your hurt feelings, it will just prolong the pain.

And if there is a chance for you to get back together, your best bet for that to happen is to give him (and yourself) some space.

Give him a few weeks to start missing you, then check back in with him to see if anything has changed. If he still feels the same way, you need to move on.

 

[Just_Believe18]

^ What SonOfSlobone said.

I know how you feel.

 

[spencer]

all LTR breakups suck, even the ones when you're doing the breaking up. Did he at least give you closure? like the other poster said, there weren't' really many details. we can't really judge if your relationship is salvagable. In the meantime however, put yourself outthere and let people know you're back on the market and go out and have fun!

 

[SonOfSlobone]

It's great that he still cares about you, that really does help. Just make sure you can tell the difference between different kinds of love -- friendship vs. romance, etc.