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First time experimenting with guy - can not cum?!?!

C

conwelljerry

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Hello everyone -

I am 23 years old and just began experimenting for the first time with a bisexual male I knew from high school. He claims to be bi, but prefers males. I am the opposite - bi, but prefer females.

At this point, we are essentially only getting naked and sucking each other off. He is obviously well versed in that department and I find myself thoroughly enjoying myself.

We have had 4 encounters by now - the problem is that I can not ejaculate. I can get very close to climax, but I can not get "over the hump."

Has anyone else ever experienced something similar? My hypothesis is that I need to be with a woman to cum, as when I am fucking a girl, I can easily (and sometimes prematurely :() cum everywhere (what a mess!). I have tried thinking about females when he is giving me head, which has helped, but I still can not cum.

Any thoughts? Similar experiences?
 
You can have great oral sex, finger eachother, make out and at the end, jerk off together. There is nothing wrong with finishing yourself off.
 
Thank you all for your comments - please keep them coming.

(1) I was in him - briefly. I didn't like it because it hurt my dick - it kept bending. I'm sure it was because of inexperience and, as he claims, water based lube and not synthetic. Regardless, it still wasn't a real turn on for me. (Definitely perfer the pussy - pre-heat the oven and it comes pre-lubed!)

(2) Thank you MustangMan. I agree that is a big issue with me - any thoughts on overcoming it besides repetition? I'm not ever nervous when I'm with a girl, but probably because it's what I am used to.

(3) Excellant point BlueBoy. I apologize profusely for my "lack of jizz," but assure him that it is not him, but me. Regardless, he just excited to be with a "straight boy" (in fantasy terms).
 
Maybe you really are str8 and just sort of curious. I wouldn't force myself that's for sure. I mean if you are having to resort to think about a chick while fucking you need to think about maybe not doing it. When you are having sex with someone you should be into that person. I hope that helps you.
 
I usally get like that i tooka week break from masturbating. I had a fuck buddy over a few months ago and it took me forever to cum i was so mad. I just jerk off and came on his ass. so just take a break from jerking off for a while and then invite him over and see what happens
 
I have another angle. I made the mistake of falling in love with my material handler. Very young and straight. After 6 months of under the radar seduction, he gave in. I must of sucked his dick a dozen times in less than a week. He could never cum. He said many times "here it comes" but never did. I could jack him off and he could cum. He said one day something like " I'm trying to be bisexual" Maybe thats your problem. Trying just isn't enough, If your heart doesn't believe it.
 
My best friend had a similar issue with this one particular girl. He is straight as straight can be. There was this one girl..she was soooo hot. I mean super model hot, and no matter what they did together he couldn't cum. She once sucked him off for an hour straight and couldn't make him cum. He said she was really good at it too. So one night after he left her place he met up with this other chick and she gave him a blowjob and he blew his load in like 5 mins. It was just this one chick.

My point is, I think you might need to try and mess around with a different dude. Even if you don't "think" your nervous. There might be some hangup with him subconsciencely and you don't realize it. If you do get head from a different dude and still can't cum. I think you might be straight bro...

keep us updated!
 
I again thank everyone for their input - greatly appreciated.

Yes, I had been fairly accustomed to masturbation and that too is most likely a factor as well (but its so damn fun!)

Also, since I had an experience when I was 12 with my best friend, I have always fantasized about guys. However, after being with this guy, I think I am beginning to realize that it is just that - a fantasy.

However, I still do enjoy giving head. I think it has more to do with the fact that if I can make any human being (male or female) cum to the point of almost literal convulsions, that is something that I truly enjoy. In other words, if my partner is not enjoying something, I will not either. Further, this seems to hold true when I am with females, although, through experimentation, it does not seem to hold true when I am with a male.

In case you are curious, I am still seeing this guy....Since I do not currently have a girlfriend, I do enjoy getting him off and watching his reaction.

Again, please keep the comments flowing (and the jizz ;)
 
conwelljerry said:
Hello everyone -

I am 23 years old and just began experimenting for the first time with a bisexual male I knew from high school. He claims to be bi, but prefers males. I am the opposite - bi, but prefer females.

At this point, we are essentially only getting naked and sucking each other off. He is obviously well versed in that department and I find myself thoroughly enjoying myself.

We have had 4 encounters by now - the problem is that I can not ejaculate. I can get very close to climax, but I can not get "over the hump."

Has anyone else ever experienced something similar? My hypothesis is that I need to be with a woman to cum, as when I am fucking a girl, I can easily (and sometimes prematurely :() cum everywhere (what a mess!). I have tried thinking about females when he is giving me head, which has helped, but I still can not cum.

Any thoughts? Similar experiences?
Click to expand...


K, there is a substantial difference in receiving a blow job and actually fucking a pussy.

Most men have no problem in busting their nut while fucking. Receiving a BJ means receiving entirely different levels of friction and the bodily sensation is completely different.

Any experience with cummin' after your GF gives you a BJ?

---
Being a top, I was exclusively interested in anally topping bttm dudes. Oral sex meant that a bttm dude at hand wanted to get me going but 'the main action' took place in his back door.

Until I bumped into a super-hottie, who I thought frankly, was way out of my league. (He was in all the Vogues one way or the other for a while.) He was not into anal sex at all. But he wanted to suck me till I shot. And he sure, was good at it. I loved the sensation and all but I was just totally unable to shoot my load.

He felt that, if I had to masturbate to come, he failed. And he claimed, no man had ever successfully resisted his skills.

I truly liked the guy and was going to do my best. So, I told him, I needed an extra reward to overcome my inhibitions.

First, I started actively participating telling him when to suck in more powerfully and when to let go for a sec. When to increase the speed and when to slow down, when to go around licking, etc... He followed to the last bit.

Second, I was promised his ass, if I shot... The mental picture of myself mounting that stud did the rest. I shot a fountain all over his face, just the way he liked it.

He was a great sport and kept his word.

My point is that most men need to learn how to receive a BJ, too and how to come without masturbating under such circumstances.

And besides, you might need some extra reward to get your juices going...

SC
 
I think there is always a little anxiety that happens when you are having sex but alot of guys don't usually talk about it. We all need to relax and ejoy the moment instead of over think it.
 
Is it possible to just have a mental block against cumming? I have a similar problem, and haven't been able to reach orgasm with anyone for about 6 years now. I always have to finish myself. On top of that, the sex itself, masterbation, and the resulting orgasm just doesn't feel all that great anymore. I'm deff gay, and have had many sexual partners in the past 6 years. I really don't know what it is. Maybe some people just can't cum with other people.
 
Hmmm all comments are indeed interesting to me...seems to be a good thread topic...thank you all for participating

I propose this question for discussion (since I feel it has a lot to do with my personal case):

- Does anyone else have the need for their partner to reach orgasm first,
and thus before you can even put yourself in the mindset of reaching
orgasm yourself (gay or straight - a broad question)?

I know some people had made the comment that a lot of people need "to relax and enjoy," which I agree with, however, I can not relax until my partner has reached orgasm.

For example, when I was with my ex-girlfriend, there were many times when she would have this incredible and intense orgasm while riding me on top, and I would not orgasm at all. It was incredibly pleasurable for myself and I thoroughly enjoyed it, however I always played it off as if I did orgasm (with condom on) because I did not want her to feel as though she "failed."

I certainly need to relax more, regardless of gay/straight, as Blueboy asserts. I also realize that communication is the key to a heightened sex life. But can anyone else relate to my proposed question? Any insight? Comments?

Thanks guys! These forums have been sooo helpful to me.
XXX
 
I do know what you mean. My main aim is to give my partner pleasure and to bring him to orgasm. I concentrate on that far more than anything he may be doing to me. As long as he comes I am happy and don't then expect him to try and bring me to orgasm because he has just come down from his high and probably won't be so into it. It only bothers me if it bothers him. I will often finish myself off.
 
I was always courteous toward the other guys needs. In the past, when I could attain orgasm, I would still make sure he got off at least once even if I was done. Now I've just resigned to the fact that I'm not going to bust a nut anyway, so whatever the other guy wants in sex I'll do. Only when he's absolutely finished will I even bother trying to get off. Which always means taking matters into my own hands. Lol.
 
answer this question when you and him are around each other and you know whats about to happen do you get hard?

if you can get hard you can bust and if your thinking too much about busting you wont bust.Get drunk and fuck that always works whatever subconcious thoughts are stopping you would probably go away.And im a sucker for sucking too sometimes well most of the times even if i dont touch myself and i feel a dick get hard ass hell right before the throbbing starts that makes me bust.Dont know why but it feels way better than getting sucked off sometimes.
 
hmm... well i'm no expert. but as a str8 curious guy who has tried a couple things with excellent buddies on campus, i can say that usually even if i am getting blown, no matter how long, that i'm the one who has got to jack myself off in the end. not that the guys 'helping' me out arn't great at it. they are. just that, in the end its up to me.
 
my first time i was 13 and was im in grade 7 ane it was in the school boys bathroom for like 20 mins good thing we were in a stall or we would have been in trouble and we did this all year and some times in he was wair no can see us jerking off then a friends x boyfriend joined in it was grit
 
The first few times I were nervous as hell and I could cum either. After I learned to relax (and ended up with someone I felt emotionally comfortable with) I never had that problem again.
 
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