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Flirting OUTSIDE of relationships

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8591paul

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I dont believe flirting outside a relationship is wrong...at least not for me...my partner of 22 years and I do it all the time..We have been going to the same bar for quite a while and kknow everyone there and they know we flirt and they flirt back..but we all know the limits..no touching below the waist..neither one of us get jealous nor do we keeep an eye on each other while out..we trust each other and at the end of the night we know we are going home with each other...But if we think it is going to far we will stop each other but we really havent had to deal with that but a few times..
 
It doesn't matter where you get your appetite, as long as you eat at home.
 
I do not agree with sneaky flirting at all !!!! I have seen friends do that and all it leads to is an affair (not always) and from there it leads to mistrust,doubts and a doomed relationship..Something to think about..If a person will cheat in a relationship with you and you two decide you want to be together what makes you think he wont do it again on you with another guy! Once a cheat always a cheat! My opinion!
 
Why do some gay couples need to ask for a monogamous committment from their partners? If it is a matter of STD transmission, then they can committ to taking precautions. If there is a concern that the one will leave the other, is the relationship strong enough? Why can't two gay men who are committed to sharing life together enjoy other sexual partners outside of their monogamous relationship? Just throwing this out there for civil discussion.
 
I flirt with anyone I feel comfortable with. But then again if it's ever mentioned, the person I was flirting with says we weren't flirting even if others have noticed it.

I have no idea? I think if I am having a good time with someone we end up feeling so comfortable that we end up in each others body space and whispering and what-not.

Whilst I get that it's beyond a 'normal' friendship thing it isn't sexual. Normally it's with females, plus I'm blinkered, when I'm in a relationship, I don't even consider anyone else as being sexual.

My ex on the other hand was the opposite, around me he was incredibly proper but if I wasn't around was a huge slut. One of my other exes was also a flirter but again was like me.

So basically I don't have a problem with flirting. I don't see it as being anything more than a sign of being comfortable with someone or having a good time. I guess it's a form of intimacy but I don't think it's necessarily sexual.

Why do some gay couples need to ask for a monogamous committment from their partners? If it is a matter of STD transmission, then they can committ to taking precautions. If there is a concern that the one will leave the other, is the relationship strong enough? Why can't two gay men who are committed to sharing life together enjoy other sexual partners outside of their monogamous relationship? Just throwing this out there for civil discussion.
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Because some people want to only be with the one person and expect the same from their partner? Plus in my experience when your partner is having sex with someone else it's never just sex.
 
jetsonboy said:
Why do some gay couples need to ask for a monogamous committment from their partners? If it is a matter of STD transmission, then they can committ to taking precautions. If there is a concern that the one will leave the other, is the relationship strong enough? Why can't two gay men who are committed to sharing life together enjoy other sexual partners outside of their monogamous relationship? Just throwing this out there for civil discussion.
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Why shouldn't people ask for monogamous relationships? Different people have different needs and different wants. If the individual wants a monogamous relationship, why should he/she settle for anything else? The same goes for someone who wants a polyamorous relationship.
 
Of course, but what I'd like to explore in discussion is the reason why some gay men feel a need for a sexually monogamous relationship. Do we feel we need to have someone exclusively to ourselves, as if people were possessions? Where does that need come from? I can see how people need to feel they belong to someone, but why? Or is it more in tune with human nature for two people to allow each other the freedom to enjoy others sexually? You can have a life partner, someone very important in your life with whom you share your life and with whom you are compatible, and be in agreement with that person about seeking (additional) sexual satisfaction from others knowing that you will always be there for that person. I am wishing for others' thoughts on the subject because I have been in an 8-year old relationship with someone I want to spend the rest of my life with, with whom I am compatible in many aspects, but who is not willing or able to satisfy me sexually or reach a level of intimacy beyond dry kissing. This started about two years into the relationship and I am wondering if anybody out there is in the same situation or understands mine. Thanks.
 
jetsonboy said:
Of course, but what I'd like to explore in discussion is the reason why some gay men feel a need for a sexually monogamous relationship. Do we feel we need to have someone exclusively to ourselves, as if people were possessions? Where does that need come from? I can see how people need to feel they belong to someone, but why? Or is it more in tune with human nature for two people to allow each other the freedom to enjoy others sexually? You can have a life partner, someone very important in your life with whom you share your life and with whom you are compatible, and be in agreement with that person about seeking (additional) sexual satisfaction from others knowing that you will always be there for that person. I am wishing for others' thoughts on the subject because I have been in an 8-year old relationship with someone I want to spend the rest of my life with, with whom I am compatible in many aspects, but who is not willing or able to satisfy me sexually or reach a level of intimacy beyond dry kissing. This started about two years into the relationship and I am wondering if anybody out there is in the same situation or understands mine. Thanks.
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Different people want different things. People are wired different, either by genetic disposition or by their environment. Some people, gay or otherwise, like oranges, and some people don't. Some people get jealous, and some people don't. Some are monogamous, others are not.
 
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