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For OUT guys: Are you bothered or offended by closet cases?

Are you bothered or offended by guys who refuse to come out of the closet?

  • Total voters
    249
xianchen

xianchen

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No way. It's your choice, your life. if you feel uncomfortable then stay inside. Don't put yourself in harms way if you think that's what would happen. Play safe, play cool.
 
Not offended. I respect the decision, although, they shouldn't expect to get a favourable response if they make a pass at me.
 
Nope, not bothered nor offended. It's each individuals choice as to whether they are out or not.
 
What's to be offended about? Because of my career, I am closeted at work, but out at home. There may come a time when it will be all right to come out at work, and I'll do it matter of factly. People have various reasons, both stated and unstated for the varying degrees that they remain in the closet. It's all good. Each person, and each circumstance is different. I respect a person's right, to proudly be out, but I want the same courtesy for still being partially in the closet...:D
 
not at all.. its doesnt really depend on the circumstances.. if the person isnt comfortable or ready.. i think they should take their time. and even if they dont ever come out, its still ok...

but i guess im a little bothered by ppl who are fully aware of their homosexuality and still choose to get married.. its not very fair to the other person in the relationship.. but there are a few exceptions..
 
There is a time & place for everything. The main thing is that the guy come to terms with his sexuality in his own mind. Screw everybody else. He he
 
I've been out a long time and am not bothered by how others lead their lives. Each must decide for themselves.

I'm also not bothered by homOsexuals who want to spend their lives marching in parades, being angry homOsexual activists or even breeding dogs. To each his own.

You will come out when the time is right for you. Not being public about it is not the same as being ashamed of yourselves as some would have you believe. They are ignorant, ignore them.
 
yeah, kinda.

I hate to admit it, but I've got little patience for closeted men. I've made no secret of it in the past, and see little reason to pretend any different now.

Guys who haven't come to grips with their sexuality is one thing.. and I get that.. Hey, I denied it until I was about 18-19 too.

I'm talking about guys who know that they're gay, marry women as cover, fuck men behind their wives backs.. not gonna pretend I'm a fan.

Guys who are so freaking worried that someone might think they're weird or that they might have to make a few new friends.. if your life is defined by what other's think of you, I have little patience for you, either.

Guys who go to bath houses and parks to get their dicks sucked but are outwardly homophobic in public. Fuck that shit.

Guys who come up with some lame reason for not coming out when the real reason is that they just don't have the guts to admit they're gay.. sorry, can't get behind that.
 
OH, and why did you make this a public poll? you're not going to get a real responce if people are going to have to give an unpopular response.

I won't even answer the poll, and I think Iwas pretty up front with my attitudes in my last post.
 
I am only offended by closet cases who knowingly and willingly conspire with our enemies.

For a good example, see the thread in CE&P about Rev. Lonnie Latham - Baptist Preacher, Anti-Gay Activist and Self-Loathing Cocksucker.
:badgrin: :twisted: :badgrin: :twisted:
 
Some people have a good reason to be in the closet. People can be very hostile to openly gay people in my area. While I don't pretend to be straight, I don't announce to everyone that I'm gay. A few of my family members know and some close friends. My boss came out about 10 years ago. He was harassed and threatened. He was fired because he was told that his employee's couldn't respect working under a gay man. I applaud anyone in a position or in an area where than can openly be gay. I don't condemn people who have a good reason to stay in the closet. I don't like gay people that will join in with organizations that condemn homosexuality. In other words, they suck dick on Saturday and go to a homophobic Church on Sunday.
 
Coming out is a personal choice. As General_Alfie said, I too am more saddened that people find themselves in the position whereby they feel they can't come out. As a 'minority' we get enough criticism and condemnation from the str8 community - without turning on each other.

I am more offended by members of our community who seem to think it is their mission in life to go on a witch-hunt and 'out' certain people, but I am equally offended by closeted gay people who whinge about being in the closet.
 
I have no problem with being out or in the closet or a selected outness. It's the indidviduals choice and their life. I have been discussing this subject with people for years and for every 10 reasons to be out I can give 20 not to be. My views on being out are liberal and truly believe it is up to the individual as to how much they wish to come out. I have said it before and still believe coming out is not for everybody.(Read my blog) It kind of pisses me off to hear the crap about not being honest with one's self etc etc yadda yadda yadda...... What a load of crap! If these self righteous outed gays would stop preaching that you must come out and have some compassion and understanding for the one's who's live's are different than theirs we all could be better people for it.
 
I voted no, i mean they don't offend me.. at most i can only feel pity for them.
But, what really pissed me off is closeted cases that use homophobic jokes or attitudes to avoid "being discovered"
Oh man, i usually kick those out the closet as fast as i can
 
The only thing i hate sometimes is when a VERY APPARENT gay guy says he has a girlfriend. Im not very gay acting, so i guess i can udnerstand hiding it if you dont know me and/or think im straight, but just say youre gay, or dont say anything at all.
 
I'm not offended but I do feel pity for time spent wasted not living life.I know this because I didn't come out until I was about 30. All that time and energy wasted, lieing to myself and others, worrying about what others think. Such a waste.
 
I am soon to be 39, and I was closeted until I was 37. I tried so hard to live a straight life. No, I didn't marry a female or raise kids, nor would I. But, I did try to be a christian for almost 20 years.

Now I am completely out, and life is much better. I don't have someone in my life, and have pretty much given up on any LTR at my age, but, by being completely out, maybe I can someday have a BF. That would be more than good enough.

As for condemning closeted guys, hey, like I said, I was one for almost 20 years. You don't have my condemnation. You have my sympathy.

You also have my hopes that someday you, too, can have the freedom of an openly gay existence.

(*8*)
 
I'm not offended, just disappointed.
 
HMMM where do I start on this one? O:K, Hi my name is Kevin and I am an ex married closeted gay guy. However in my case when I was younger I guess I never realized I was gay. I thought I was bisexual (Down Soilwork down!!lol) and I thought I would be happy with a women . As a kid and a teenager I always wanted to get married and have kids. I had a boyfriend when I was 17 (he approached me) and we eventually lost touch and I never really thought about having another boyfriend and I did what my friends were doing meeting women.

Well I got together with my ex-wife I guess I was around 26 or 27, we eventually moved in together and had kids. After the we had kids the relationship slowly went downhill. I was just miserable and could not figure out why. So I spoke to my DR and he sent me to therapy
were I finally came to the conclusion that I AM GAY. Now wonder I was not happy.

I left my ex- wife two years ago and I have been happily living life as a gay man. I am slowly opening the closet door I told my ex-wife before Christmas and she was cool with it, she was actually mad that I did not tell her sooner. I began telling friends as well and things are going very well people are being very supportive. I do not plan on telling everybody, but if anyone asks I will no longer hide it "Yes I am gay Dammit You got a problem with that?!" I definatly do not plan on coming out to my family which I probably should before they hear it from somebody else.

So in answer to the question, no I do not hold anything against people who choose to stay in the closet. But I do have a problem with married men who cheat with another man and reason to themselves that it is not cheating because it is with another man that is just plain wrong. It also gives bisexuals a bad wrap.
 
I'm one of those closet cases...although I never "pretend"...more like I simply don't mention anything that would qualify me as straight and rather sometimes I'll say/do something a bit suspect/gay...I'm simply not saying the words (much, I have come out to a select individual) for many reasons...and yes, fear is one of them. Why someone would find it bothersome or disappointing that I'm not out is offending to ME...lol.

What is disappointing is that we live in a world where it's not always possible to easily be out and not destroy everything in your life. I might come out fully or partially if I have the need (a boyfriend)...right now, if I came out, I think most would not understand why...but if I had a boyfriend who I was serious about, that would change things quite a bit...of course I'd have to be quite sure.
 
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