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Four problems

G

godson112

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Helloooo!
I just need to know if I'm being unreasonable about this situation so I need advice :)
I have a friend who lives out of town who I really fancy, everyone knows I fancy him, he knows I fancy him etc, but we're still really good friends.
Anyway, whenever he comes to visit, he always stays at my friend's (Greg's) house. Tonight he is staying over Greg's house, and Greg invited two of my other friends out along with the guy I fancy, as well as this other girl who I don't know.
Apparantly the only reason I wasn't invited was that there wasn't room in the car, but I felt a little hurt because that problem could have been resolved had I been invited earlier. Bearing in mind I'm better friends with all of them than this random girl is, and they've openly talked about going out tonight in front of me, so they must have known I would want to come. And when I asked, they just said there wasn't room in the car.
Am I being unreasonable for being annoyed that I wasn't invited first?

Also, I want to go visit my friend in his town soon, but whenever I suggest or talk about it, he always avoids it, and I worry this is because although he's told me he would have sex with me (but because I had feelings for him he would feel bad and thus doesn't want to do it yet, but when the right moment comes we will apparantly), I think he doesn't want me to come stay with him because he thinks I'm expecting something to happen, which I'm really not. Unless the reason he doesn't seem to want me to come is because he doesn't want to complicate things between us but is worried he won't be able to resist when I'm there lol. I do catch him staring at me a lot. :P
So how can I ask him if I can come visit and not let him think that I'm expecting something to happen between us?

And problem number 3 lol.
This isn't so much of a problem, but the guy I fancy is bisexual, and one of our mutual female friends also fancies him, and all three of us know that me and her both fancy this guy, but me and the girl don't hate eachother, yet we're both wanting him. I find this quite weird because wouldn't two people under these circumstances normally hate eachother?

Lastly, problem four, I mentioned earlier, the guy I fancy said he would have sex with me.
I've really put myself out there, let him know its available right, and the other day we were talking about blowjobs, and I told him about how I don't have a fuckbuddy anymore, so nobody to blow, and he thought I was hinting I wanted to blow him, so I told him I wasn't hinting (although I could see how it looked like that, I would blow him, but I wasn't hinting), and he said he would feel like a slag if we did knowing I used to have feelings for him, but he said "for the record, i would. so bad."
So why won't he? What do I need to do? Should I make the first move? How do I convince him I don't have feelings for him anymore and that he wouldn't be a slag? I'm so confused...

Thankyou for your help in advance :)
 
Well, quite a little puzzle you've found yourself in. Lemme tackle these out of order.

You and your female friend? No, you don't have to hate each other. N*Sync fans squealed over their favorite boy hotties, and bonded over it. They didn't kick out each other's teeth because "he's mine, damnit". :)

Now onto the big problem. Let me get this straight. You've got a friend. You fancy him. You want to have sex with him. He says he wants to have sex with you. But "not yet". Why "not yet"? You say it's because he knows you have feelings for him, and that'd make him "feel bad". So...what? Is he waiting until those feelings go away?

"You still fancy me?"
"No, not really."
"Cool - let's fuck."

I don't see that happening. Your feelings aren't going to dissapate, knowing that there's sex on the horizon.

You've given him every opening in the world except "let's have sex". So next time you're alone with him, use that. "Let's have sex." If he gives you any BS about "not wanting to feel bad because you have feelings for him", tell him you're an adult, you know what you're doing, and you want to have sex with him. Now. Right there.

I have a sneaking suspicion he'll find another reason why he can't.

Now you and the car. Dude, they know you. They'd probably know instinctively that you'd want to go. And I can tell you from experience that you can fit nine people in a Hyundai if you want to. They didn't invite you because they didn't invite you. It doesn't mean they don't like you, or are plotting your overthrow, or anything else. It just means they didn't invite you on that little trip. Maybe they wanted a break from you, or maybe the girl hates your guts, or maybe they thought this wouldn't be something you'd want to do. Doesn't matter. They didn't invite you - get over it.

Lex
 
Thankyou :)
It is such a confusing situation.
Do you think he doesn't want to have sex with me and just said he did to make me feel better? Or because he likes leading me on or teasing me? Because that is what it feels like sometimes. But it also feels like he does like me on some level because he's told me so many times he's attracted to me and I catch him staring at me so much. And other people who know about this situation who know him say that he wouldn't lie about it, but I don't know what to think.
He's renowned for being quite slutty.

And thats probably true about the car thing. Me and Greg aren't getting along at the moment either so they might have felt it would have been awkward. But the only reason me and Greg aren't getting along is because he THINKS we're not getting along, when in actual fact, I'm fine with him.


Oh and also, I did have feelings for him, I really really used to like him, but I don't so much anymore. I find him physically attractive, and he does have a great personality, but I wouldn't want to go out with him or date him or anything, just a fuckbuddy really. It sounds stupid and maybe selfish I know, and I shouldn't have sold myself short and I was stupid for doing so, but I just blurt things out without thinking.
 
This whole thing sounds like too much work, life is too short, move on and find something more comapatble.
 
My 2 cents.I'm not an expert by any means but when you call a (bluff) spade by a spade who knows what could happen.Life can be a B but it's what you make of it that counts.
 
>>>Do you think he doesn't want to have sex with me and just said he did to make me feel better? Or because he likes leading me on or teasing me?

Hell, I don't know. Everything I know about this guy has been told to me by you. :) My guess is that it's a bit of both, but that's all that is.

Lex
 
Hmm ok thanks for your help.
I think the best thing I can do is just ask him one day what the situation is and where I stand.
It doesn't matter if he doesnt like me I suppose, there's plenty more fish in the sea and I can get what I want elsewhere haha.
 
Let me be blunt: it seems that a group of guys (and any gals attached) seem proportionally less likely to invite anyone along who proportionally greater WANTS to go along.

Don't ask me why, it just seems to be the case.

You are far better off not shouting out your wishes to be invited. Be a little remote. Works a lot better.

Why? Hell if I know.
 
The situation seems too complicated.

If friends want to fuck, they do it. They don't talk it to death.

godson112 said:
So how can I ask him if I can come visit and not let him think that I'm expecting something to happen between us?
Click to expand...

You're not being honest with yourself on this one. That's exactly why you want him to come visit.
 
KaraBulut said:
The situation seems too complicated.

If friends want to fuck, they do it. They don't talk it to death.



You're not being honest with yourself on this one. That's exactly why you want him to come visit.
Click to expand...

No its really not.
He lives in a town that I've never been to and I just want to go because everyone bigs this town up so much.
It is really I just want to go sight-seeing thing.
Obviously it'd be great if something did happen but I'm not going relying on it or expecting it to.

I think the only way I'm going to get my answer is with alcohol haha :P
 
If the answer you want is "Sure, why not?", then you may be correct. We'll be here to handle the inevitable fallout.

Lex
 
G-Lexington said:
If the answer you want is "Sure, why not?", then you may be correct. We'll be here to handle the inevitable fallout.

Lex
Click to expand...

Hmm I guess you're right. I'll just have to go with the flow.
I'm just confused. Life shouldn't be thee complicated.
 
G-Lexington said:
If the answer you want is "Sure, why not?", then you may be correct. We'll be here to handle the inevitable fallout.
Click to expand...

godson112 said:
Hmm I guess you're right. I'll just have to go with the flow.
I'm just confused. Life shouldn't be thee complicated.
Click to expand...

Life isn't complicated, it's just full of a lot of hard lessons.

And a lot of dead-end streets that eventually you learn not to waste your time with.
 
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