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Freedom is Imminent

  • Thread starter Thread starter uslad7
  • Start date Start date
U

uslad7

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I don't believe I'm writing this to get advice from anyone because I truly feel like I've done everything correctly in this situation, but anyone can give their input, suggestions or whatever else your heart desires.

On September 29th, I am moving out of my parents house. It's very easy for people to say they've had a really hard life, but when I say I've had a really hard life, I really mean it. I've always had a roof over my head and something to eat, and for that I will always be thankful, but the greatest battles are always waged in the mind and my have I had wars.

I'm not going to fully explain everything that has led up to this point because I'm still dealing with a lot of things and I don't know if there's a limit to the amount I can write, so I'll attempt to keep it within reason.

lol after I wrote that last sentence, I wrote an essay just saying everything that's happened, in full contradiction of what I said I wouldn't do. I deleted it.

Case in point, I saved money because I knew this day would come. I haven't already left because I didn't want to leave my Grandma who raised me (she passed away last November) and I didn't want to leave my little sister to suffer here alone. If I was here, I could at least bear more of the weight when my parent's argued. I already spoke to her and we're devising plans for her escape once I'm settled into my new place.

I feel good. I feel bad that my entire life has come to this point where I can't even look my parents in the eye without feeling contempt, but I feel good because I'm finally doing something about it. I won't even get into the gay thing because they suspect it, something my Dad reminds me of every time we argue (almost daily), but denies it. I don't care anymore. I stopped seeking their approval a very long time ago.

It's not going to be easy, but I know it'll be better for me once I'm gone. I've come to terms with it.

I'm happy.
 
Congratulations for being independent! Don't dwell in the past. You can acknowledge it...get it out of your chest. But don't "wish" it could have been any other way. Keep moving forward in building a life of your own and help your sister in the future. You have a kind heart in wanting to take care of her...|

If you don't let the past dictate your future, hardship builds character. It makes you stronger. Don't be a stranger around JUB.

Wishing you all the best in pursuing your dream in life!
 
Hi uslad7,

Congratulated with your step to leave your parents and with your start to be an adult who is independent from his parents.

Often, this step is easy and smooth, but sometimes its a tough and a complicated step.

You wrote: "I'm happy," and I think you should keep thinking like that. Maybe you should try to look forwards as much as possible, and try not to think too much about everything what has happened in the past.

Realize yourself that not all families (parents and their offspring) live in harmony.

I assume the religion of your parents is a main cause of these problems.

Towards my opinion, it is then even more important that you don't debate any longer with your parents. They simply don't understand you (anymore), and it is senseless to debate with people who cannot understand what you want to tell them.

Best wishes & good luck.
 
I cut ties with my parents when I was in my late 20's and haven't seen or spoken with them since. It's been almost 10 years.

Throughout my young adulthood, I tried convincing them to seek professional help for their issues, but they never did so. When people who grew up in healthy families hear this about me, they always say something along the lines of "Oh, that's sad." But the reality is, I don't feel sad about it. Cutting ties with them was really the most liberating thing that ever happened to me.
 
Good luck and anyone who's healthy is proud of you in your attempts to protect your sister. You're a good person and a loving, caring brother. You're an example of goodness springing from troubled and unhealthy people.
 
dysfunctional family take a lot of time to work things out.

Living separately is best.
 
Thanks to everyone for their responses.

I've always waited for them to change; very foolish of me because, as you guessed, they never did. If anything, they've gotten worse as the years have progressed.

I really didn't want it to come to this. I don't think anyone would. They're my parents, you know? It sucks. It's not supposed to be like this.

I'm comforted that I'm going through this now because I know what not to do in the future. I'd rather it be me than my kids.
 
Best of luck to you. You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders and that you are a caring older brother. Hang in there!
 
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