Friend on Cocaine.. What I do?

[french]

This weekend something been on my mind all weekend.

So my best friend in the world does Cocaine.

She started in May and did it until July ending, and then in July she did $80 worth and got really sick, so she decided to stop. She did cold turkey and hadn't done it for at least a few months.

But then like December middle, she started doing it again. But not often at all. Just here and there.

Then in Christmas break, she did it four times that I know of. I also did it with her. But thankfully I didn't get addicted and I didn't do it for like 2 weeks.

Then on Friday she bought $60 worth. She asked me if I wanted to do it, and I said yes. :*( So I did it. Then on Saturday, we spent $30 and did more.

So I done it like 6 times total. And then today, I woke up feeling scared and not wanting to get addicted. I read lot of stories about addicts and I figured it was best to never do it again.

So today we hung out, and lo and behold,she pops out more cocaine. She asks me if I want any. I say "NO" and make up some excuse.. I told her that I have low D2 levels so it makes it worse. I don't know if this is true or what it really means, but it was a good excuse. So I didn't do it.

But she did 5 lines. And then for 15 minutes she was really quiet. Then she went and did even MORE. then had a cig and then did some MORE.

So this whole night it was all she did. My best friend, who wanted me to chill with her, did nothing but Cocaine all night.

So for the past 3 days she been doing it. And she doing it tomorrow before classes too. And she did it more then just tonight. she did it earlier day as well.

And I am concerned. Because I am not sure about Cocaine addiction. I don't know HOW one feels, and HOW they treat their addiction(like just one line a day do it or what.) I don't know how long it will take to really mess her up.

And then I go online and I read, and hear terrible stories. Mechanic who makes $300 a day divorces his wife and sells his car because he is always needing cocaine. Girl hasn't left home in day and buys an 8-ball of Cocaine each day which costs hundreds. Other girl lost all her friends and spends all paycheck from second job on it.

These things scare me when I read them. Which is why I decided to stop now, before I get addicted.

But I have many friends who do Cocaine. And they act normal. Like, my friend didn't tell me about her Cocaine over the summer until I found out by finding bags in her room.(This was in September, and she stopped until July.)

And she seemed totally normal to me. And I know her dealer(lol her and I really good friends) and her dealer seems totally normal as well. And then another friend does it and she also seems normal.

Then another best friend did it for 3 years straight. She no longer does it and if offered she says no without hesitation. And she stopped cold turkey easily. And she is normal.

So, I am so conflicted about Cocaine and its affects.

Any cocaine or excocaine users here who I can PM/IM and discuss? I want to learn about Cocaine because I am really concerned for my friend now. I don't want her to ruin her life.

I'm not worried about myself, because I personally didn't even really like Cocaine. It was good but my stomach would hurt and the come-downs were not fun. Also, I like to sleep good at night, not bad. So I have stopped and won't do it again. But my friend, I am worried. I don't think she will stop. She told me she makes no regrets. So whoah.

Pls help!

 

[yellowminicooper]

I would contact her family. You should not attempt to or feel like you need to handle this situation on your own. Please seek help from a professional before things get worse.

 

[MCsNo1Fn]

I used to do it quite often, and it's been...well let's see, my ex left in Oct 07...soo all of that year before October and...a little after cause I was devastated. But I walked away from it rather easily. I know I was lucky for that and have not done it for awhile, probly since last January. For some, it's like smoking. They stop, then something happens to where they go right back to the ol' trusty soother.
I would talk with her about it and offer to help her through it, and if that doesn't work, intervention is the next step. Contacting her family should only be if necessary (like the intervention).

 

[jbinnominate]

Hi!

I volunteer at a drug rehabilitation clinic.

Unfortunately, the first thing we tell people in your situation to do is distance yourself from this friend, and anyone else who can get you the drug. Depending on how close you are, it can be hard, but temptation is the worst thing an addict or potential addict can have.

Of course you can still support her through her addiction, but do it long distance. You can also give her information on places that she can go to get outside help- and you can go with her. That is the best way to help her. Do NOT try to break her addiction yourself, because it will only cause more drama and there is a good chance you will lose a friend and she won't quit. I would say that you could intervene, but normally we do not advise that to people who are afraid of becoming addicts themselves.

Contacting her family (unless they are VERY close--like a sister or brother who might know about her problem) should be a LAST CASE scenario. Before it's too late, but after you've tried alternatives.

Hope this helps!

 

[joshz88]

I agree, with jbinnominate's post, contacting her family and putting on an intervention could be bad because she may feel like she is being ambushed and the overwhelming experience could push her to do more. Try taking her to a drug addiction support group, sort of like alcoholics anonymous, where should would be around recovered addicts who are there to help and other addicts who are there to get better. In a setting like that, she would feel less humiliated and would not feel like she is being judges as much which would help her confront her issues. Good luck with everything, I hope everything gets better.

 

[KaraBulut]

Your friend's addiction is a secondary problem. The primary problem is that your friend somehow manages through peer pressure to get you to do cocaine with her.

You may have to distance yourself from your friend unless she gets into treatment. You have a choice to make as to whether you want to continue to hang out with her. She has a problem but she still has a ways to go before she bottoms out and gets into treatment.

 

[french]

Hi you guys, thanks you all for the responses!

Just for clarification, I wholeheartedly know that I will not be doing Cocaine anymore. I have done it like 7 times so far,(over a period of maybe 3 weeks) and I don't think I am addicted. Plus, when I was on it, it didn't do too much for me. The next day I would be paranoid about getting addicted and wasting all my money, and so it wasn't worth it. Last night I got offered and I said NO! I told my friend I'm not going to do it ever again, and so she won't call me and ask.

So today I seen my friend because every morning we go for a coffee and a smoke. Lo and behold, when I seen her, she had just taken cocaine. I could tell by how calm and quiet she was. I asked her and she told me. I started crying but I didn't let her see because I acted like I had to go to restroom and then I cried in the restroom.

Then I came out and I talked casually like we normally did. Then she said "gosh, I feel like dying." I was like "what?" She said "I just want more Coke" and then I shook my head and turned away. She said "are you mad?" I said "no, but let me ask you.. Do you want to feel this way every day, where all you think about is coke and if you don't have it, you depressed?" She said "no" and then I said "well then you should stop doing it." Then I asked if she was out and she said "yeah I just finished the last of it" and then I asked "well, are you going to get some more" and she said "I don't think I should."

So this is great news! All I did was told her that I don't want her to be addicted because I don't want her life to revolve around it. I also told her that I was never doing coke again because I really enjoyed it, but I don't want to get addicted. I told her that I don't want my life to revolve around it, so I won't be doing it.

She did it a few months ago regularly for a while. Then, she stopped cold turkey for months. Then, she would do it maybe once every few weekends, here and there. Then, two weekends ago her and I did it like four days in a row. then, this weekend me and her did it on Friday and Saturday, and then she did it on Sunday and today but I didn't. Now,(THANK GOODNESS) she is out. And I hope she can stop cold turkey.

You see, so this is the thing. I don't know so much if she is already 100% addicted. I just know that she has been doing it regularly for the past few days. And I don't want this. So I want her to not buy anymore, and hope she can be ok without it.

I don't want to do an intervention because I think it is too early. Remember, she only been doing it regularly for the past few days. Also, I don't want her family finding out because I think they would be disheartened and feel like it is their fault.

I am her only friend who knows about it, besides her other friends that also do it. Her other best friends don't even know. And I don't want to bring them into this drama. I mean, I know if I was a druggie I wouldn't want my business spread.

I don't care if she does marijuana or drinks, or even if she pops exo's. Hell, even Speed is ok with me. Because I know that these are not very addicting, and you don't need to take it for a daily routine. You do them just for fun.(Most ppl at least.)

But cocaine, I am worried about. Because it is costing her a TON already,and she barely started again regularly until Friday!

And I feel like it is my fault, because it was MY idea on friday that we got cocaine. I told her we should get some, and we did. Had I said "no", maybe we wouldn't have and this normal routine wouldn't happen.

I don't know. I just hope that she doesn't get any more. Right now, she is out of Cocaine. and her finances are OK, but spending $20-$70 adds up, and I hope she realizes that it is not a good idea financially to get more. A $20-bag will last her no more then two days, and then she will want to buy another $20, and another. So I hope she realizes this and decides to stop cold turkey.

I am just worried, but still I think she can stop now, without having to need to go a rehab or intervention. I mean, I did it for 2 days and I stopped and it wasn't hard. She has only been doing it for 4 days in a row(and before that, it had been like a week) and I hope she can stop.

And even though I don't think I was ever addicted, I know that when I had a "come down", I felt like shit. I just wanted more and more. And that is all I thought about for several hours yesterday. And I don't want this to happen to her, where this is all she thinks about.

And I am blabbing on, and being repetitive... Sorry! But I just have to let it out. I don't want to tell any of my friends, and I don't wish to tell my boyfriend about her problem, even though he knows I did it on Friday and Saturday.

She did it for months regularly, and then once she bought $80 worth, ad did it all in one day. And she got really sick. And she decided it was time for her to stop, and she did. And she did for months. I hope she can stop cold turkey again. she is too young for this. In université and she could pursue a prosperous life, or this hell-hole road where she feels great for 15 minutes at a time, and like shit for two hours or however long until she gets more.

So I don't know. Do you guys think she can stop cold turkey?

Her and I are 100% best friends. Unseperable. I think I can convince her not to do it. But what do I say without ambushing her and making her feel bad?

 

[MCsNo1Fn]

So I don't know. Do you guys think she can stop cold turkey?

Her and I are 100% best friends. Unseperable. I think I can convince her not to do it. But what do I say without ambushing her and making her feel bad?

Some people can stop cold turkey, others not so much. You can try it, and if not, I would take jbinnominate's post to heart. They would know far better than I, even though I have been highly addicted to the substance before.
There's going to be A LOT of urges and withdrawals, but having friends around me that understood and cared really helped a lot. Whatever you do, don't play doctor or psychotherapist! Get her in a comfortable setting, and just gently bring up the subject. I can't tell you what to say, but I think if you really think about it and listen to your heart, you can come up with just the right words on your own

 

[KaraBulut]

The physical addiction of cocaine is not nearly as powerful as the psychological addiction.

Many of the people who are using are psychologically addicted. And they're often self-medicating to cover the symptoms of another problem- like depression, bipolar illness, etc.

Chances are your friend will continue to use. And while she certainly needs friends to support her (not enable her), she needs to give consideration to getting into treatment or into a 12 step program.

 

[french]

Uh oh. Well, I am closely monitoring her and I hope she will not continue this path. She has not done it in over a day so this is progress

 

[french]

Hmm... I see that the only solution is for me to try and ensure that my friend stops, so she doesn't become hardcore addicted. I will try my best. If it doesn't work, then I don't know what to do.

But she got willpower. I think she can stop. I think I'm over reacting. She did it 4 days in a row, but maybe just for fun. Maybe she has no plans on doing it again. Who knows. Though today she told me she wants it "sooo bad" but still, she could say no.

 

[KaraBulut]

I think you're kidding yourself, but time will tell.

 

[BrokenGlassSnack]

Honestly, there's not much you can do unless she has the desire to give it up. If she doesn't see her coke habit, as an addiction or a problem then she'll most likely continue to use it with or without you.

She got herself into the mess she's in, let her find her own way out. You shouldn't feel responsible for anything she does.




You're kidding right? There's many people who are addicted to alcohol, marijuana, ecstasy, and speed in the world who have throw their lives away because of it. Go to any gay bar, and you'll find most of them there. lol

Marijuana isn't physically addictive unless you smoke as many j's a day as cigarette smokers do cigarettes and that would mean a pretty much un-smokeable amount of joints.

 

[thelaw18489]

just move on, what I think she needs is for you to leave out of the picture because they need to hit their low, no friends no one whos clean on their side, then they will finnaly reach a breaking point