Friend with a "gay streak"

[northstar135]

Hey guys,

I have a friend I've known for years. He's straight, and so I never even considered the idea of doing anything with him - he is a mate, and that's where it ends. We get on really well, and I really enjoy his company, totally platonically.

Recently though, something came up in a conversation, and he eventually told me that there is a part of him that is gay - only a "small part" and not "as much as me" (I'm quite open about being gay). The trouble with him telling me this is that all of a sudden I've discovered that I actually do have feelings for him, totally unexpectedly.

He is still on the chase for girls, and I don't exactly know how big that "small part" of him is, so I'm thinking that it's probably best if I distance myself from him for a little while - I don't think I could cope having those feelings and not acting on them, because he's a great mate and I think would be an even better boyfriend...

Is this the right way to go about things? Or, do I tell him how I feel and run the risk of freaking him out and driving him away anyway because he may not be ready to totally acknowledge that side of himself - he may be able to say that he could see himself sleeping with a guy, but acting on it is completely different. The last thing I want to do is upset or scare him...

Any advice or thoughts?

Thanks

 

[rareboy]

I have a straight streak inside of me too. Somewhere. If I look for it hard enough.

It doesn't mean I'm not a homo.

Who knows. His gay streak may be that he wouldn't mind if some guy licked his balls as long as he didn't have to reciprocate.

Or he likes fashion.

It comes down to self-control, doesn't it.

Surely you can continue to be friends with him without picturing his cock jammed down your throat?

Surely you can keep your mouth shut about your undying fantasy of having him shag you like you've never been before?

He's entrusted you with the tiniest fragment of another part of his persona.

Leave it alone. Let him take the lead on what he wants to tell you.

Get other friends too. Get yourself a homo boyfriend.

Don't waste your life living in futile hope.

 

[evanrick]

i have thoughts but never been in this kind of situation. i think you would be really lucky if he does turn out to be the one. maybe he is telling you that because he wants to be supportive. i would wonder what else contributes to this gay streak and if he just wants attention from it.

 

[G-Lexington]

Why not find out? Ask him. You can keep it non-specific to start out with. "I'm confused about this 'gay part' of you. Is it something you think you'll ever act on? What kind of things do you think you'd want to try?"

Lex

 

[KaraBulut]

Hmmm....

Let's see.

A friend with a petite gay streak who has given no concrete evidence that he wants anything but girlfriends.

Or...

A gay guy who can return your interest and might actually be able to commit to something other than a few drunken you-can-blow-me-until-I-get-a-girlfriend encounters.

Don't waste your life on lost causes. There's a world of guys out there who want to be with you. Go find yourself one.

 

[G-Lexington]

^ The first one is far more interesting to post about on Facebook. And to make a reality TV show about. And isn't that really what life's about?

Lex

 

[Blissful Fool]

I'd be careful regarding your own feelings, but at the least you could be a helpful friend and explore it.

Don't outright confess your love, that's incredibly forward and will make him uncomfortable unless it's assured he reciprocates it. Lexington's advice about non-specific questions is spot-on.

You don't need to dangle hope in front of yourself, but you don't need to be dishonest to yourself either. Just move more slowly and cautiously, and you'll get clear signals regarding his feelings towards you as you speak about his feelings in a slightly different context. This allows you to explore his feelings without laying yourself bare, and allows you to do so simply as a good friend. (and if more beyond that, then more beyond it, but it's at least a safe means)

 

[bankside]

You might have feelings for him. It sounds like at most he might have experiments with you.

If that is all he's offering, why the feelings?

 

[boiseboy]

He could of meant gay streak like he likes to watch glee.

I think he would of mentioned "i have a gay streak, i've been known to poke a guy here or there."

 

[slnattak]

I had a similar situation. Maybe suggest to him you'd be open to helping him figure himself out. But remember to remain objective and don't get your hopes up or force him to be more gay then he really is. He might be 'testing the waters' to see what he can get away with. Can be sexy or annoyingly frustrating.

You honestly sound like you have a good head on your shoulders so I'm not that worried.

 

[slnattak]

As other posters have said, there are plenty of honest, good gay men out there. Look for them as partners, not your buddy.

I don't understand this straight male fascination thing much myself. I NEVER find other straight men romantically or sexually interesting at all. It's just BORING or like they're my brothers. It's not hot to see emotionless blowjobs and a guy that isn't enjoying himself. It's disgusting for me and I feel sorry for the guy. The only time straight men can be hot are if they are in their natural habitat banging women and being really into them. I guess we love tragic closet cases or bad boy bisexual guys.... but a real straight guy just isn't attractive to me.