Friends’ son wants first experience with us

[Kahaih]

/\ Willpower



Or, should that be two words?

 

[monkeytoe]

I've seen him hanging around outside of Shady Pines.

We’re older but not being fed puréed food yet.

 

[monkeytoe]

/\ Willpower



Or, should that be two words?

Either way, we get the message!

 

[Level27]

hmm that's interesting. I mean he's 23 so I think you don't have to ask his parents haha, plus I think asking them would make it a bit weirder no offence. Just go for it in my opinion. Especially if he's hot haha

Certainly, the legal 23yo man isn't required to confide in his parents for permission; in the same way many United State's jurisdictions require an underage pregnant teenage girl to notify her parents of abortion decisions.

On the other hand, certain social groups (or cultures at large) consider it "decent", "moral" or "person of good standing in the community" when certain things are made open to others, particularly those of familial ties. I can't tell you how many Chinese gay friends I have with traditional parents who still require the parents to help "make decisions for their" sons/daughters well into their 30's. To those parents, that's the "normal and right thing to do". See that? It's just part of that family's social heritage to behave like that. (With the parent's sons or daughters sometimes well into their 40's!!) As a Chinese gay guy myself, I don't agree with it, and I don't support myself. But, to them, it's social customs that make them feel at home with eachother.

Also, different social cultures have different levels of acceptability, as well as different levels of requirement for notification, when it comes to discussing sexual aspects of life. I don't know what culture the OP's friends are from, but I seem to get that discussion of sex within close group has a degree of acceptability. (Otherwise, OP would have never entertained the possibility).

I would never tell my friend's parents about sex with their gay son, but I accept that there are people out there who feel at home with it. Because I'm not familiar with his friend's family background, I can't offer any advice to OP at this time.

 

[monkeytoe]

Certainly, the legal 23yo man isn't required to confide in his parents for permission; in the same way many United State's jurisdictions require an underage pregnant teenage girl to notify her parents of abortion decisions.

On the other hand, certain social groups (or cultures at large) consider it "decent", "moral" or "person of good standing in the community" when certain things are made open to others, particularly those of familial ties. I can't tell you how many Chinese gay friends I have with traditional parents who still require the parents to help "make decisions for their" sons/daughters well into their 30's. To those parents, that's the "normal and right thing to do". See that? It's just part of that family's social heritage to behave like that. (With the parent's sons or daughters sometimes well into their 40's!!) As a Chinese gay guy myself, I don't agree with it, and I don't support myself. But, to them, it's social customs that make them feel at home with eachother.

Also, different social cultures have different levels of acceptability, as well as different levels of requirement for notification, when it comes to discussing sexual aspects of life. I don't know what culture the OP's friends are from, but I seem to get that discussion of sex within close group has a degree of acceptability. (Otherwise, OP would have never entertained the possibility).

I would never tell my friend's parents about sex with their gay son, but I accept that there are people out there who feel at home with it. Because I'm not familiar with his friend's family background, I can't offer any advice to OP at this time.

Thank you for that interesting input and perspective!

 

[johaninsc]

 

[Level27]

I don't.

 

[Charon]

seems legit

 

[JackM]

So my partner and I have close friends (a str8 couple who are really open and cool and accepting) who’s 23 year old son came to us (gay couple) in confidence and said he was gay-curious and wanted to explore. He said he doesn’t want to have his first experience with some random hook up and he didn’t have a single gay friend he felt he could play with…but he trusted us and said he wanted to have his first gay experience with one or both of us because he trusted us and knew we would be gentle and understanding. I thanked him and told him we were honored that he was comfortable coming to us. If (and that’s a big IF) we helped him explore one time, we feel we would need to go to his parents first and seek their permission because we don’t want to jeopardize our strong relationship with them. Is this a loaded gun?!? Should we tell him we’re honored but we’re all too close so probably not a good idea? Or should we go seek permission and show him a night of sweet, tender exploration? Thoughts?

A bit late in answering, but anyway...
Definitely understand he's 23 and you don't need to ask for parents permission. But the point is you value the friendship with his parents and don't want to jeopardize it. The parents could be supportive and understanding in general, but maybe "Not with our close friends, you're not. That would make it weird."
I propose you sort of stay out of it for now and avoid awkwardness or confrontation in talking to the parents, becoming part of the family discussion. You tell the son to run it by their parents without saying he already talked to you - you're innocent, you didn't know about this. He tells them he wants to try it and he was thinking of you guys, but he wants to know if they will be OK with them, or no because it would be weird. If they say no to him, you have the decision to make - forget it or risk losing the friendship. If they say yes (or the son says they did), you double check with the parents and say their son has spoken to you, but you don't want it to be weird between the two families, so you want to be sure. If they say yes, you have the green light. And I think it will get weird between you guys anyway, but it will be your decision.

 

[CochondeMontreal]

This is crazy.

So this guy is looking for 2 daddies to open his hole? You have to be at least 40 given when you joined JUB. I have no issues with age difference but imagine how his parents would view this...particularly if you have known their son while he was growing up.

And you think you should ask his parents' permission to suck his dick and rail him? Frankly, the relationship would appear predatory and would destroy trust between you and the parents.

And what if he catches feelings? He may be just a third for sex to you guys, but this could turn into a bunny boiler if he decides that one of you is going to be his husband.

Cool story though.

See that's what I thought about also. Twentty-somethings are not the most stable of the bunch. And you're dealing with someone who's horned up and wrapped in so many feelings and ideals ALL at the same time.

I agree with you Rareboy, I'm not opposed to younger guys and older guys hooking up. I think most of us gay men have hooked up with older guys in our twenties. For a variety of reasons. But it can go SO WRONG... especially as a Virgin? I'm a bit creeped out with the virgin portion of this story. It says 'kid still figuring himself out' and what happens if afterwards the kid wants to process their feelings or regrets it? And then you have angry parents to contend with.

And then, you have angry parents to contend with going after a 58 - 60 year old who deflowered a 23 year old. Let's just sit on those optics.

 

[USEDCAR]

As hot as that sounds, I wouldn't at all you will ruin the friendship and make things awkward with the parents.

I used to think with my dick and hook up with curious friends and things become weird after they become distant and the friendship ends.