Friends reaction

[hothole724]

Hey guys..so I have only come out to one person and it's a girl and I knew she was bisexual so she thought it was cool....the thing is im really tight with my guy friends and we always screw around with each other and make gay jokes (well at least they do, i don't really say anything) and I'm afraid they wouldn't want to be my friend if I came out to them.

How did your straight guy friends react when you came out to them? How old were you? I'm just kind of interested to hear other reactions I guess..thanks.

 

[Timmy11]

i came out to them at 18, and i was pretty much the same as u it seems. very close to all of them, and they did make alot of gay jokes.

honestly though they were fine with it! they still make the jokes and i dont mind cause i know they are just jokes!!

 

[cornholio]

^what he said. Although I just came out recently at the age of 24. I only told two straight friends in person, totally shit faced. They were awesome, one had many questions, the other not really, except for "do you fancy me then?" - I honestly responded "no", to which he then made a sad face. it was funny.

Then I went abroad and wrote my coming out on my blog. I heard my friends were coincidentally at one of my friend's flat that day. They thought it was a joke at first. Anyways, they made a lot of jokes afterwards, when I came back home, which I think is awesome, because, like you said, I didn't want things to change. They didn't stop calling each other fags either. Some were really nosy, but tried to ask their questions in a respectful way.

So nothing really has changed. Well except for two things: 1. people I haven't heard of for years wrote me after hearing about my blog. It was nice, but annoyed me a little aswell (So much responding to do, while I thought, my blog pretty much said it all..)
2. One of my "manliest" straight friends opened up about his years of depression, citing my coming out as an inspiration, to not further hide his thoughts and feelings.
3. another buddy came out to me. Well at least that's what I think, because again I was to damn drunk to remember really. He did break up with his girlfriend the same week. Still want to write him, whether he's alright and whether he wants to talk to me about it. Well, in case I didn't totally miss the point

 

[Lube]

If they wouldn't want to be your friend, then they're not really friends, are they?

Don't worry; half of them are probably closeted themselves, and you'll find at least a couple will come out within a year of you coming out.

 

[Atrocity]

Yeah i woudlnt be too worried about the gay jokes, most people seem to make them because they always have. and tbh i even made them till one day i actually realised i ~was~ gay...

But yeah i came out a few years ago and all my friends were pretty cool with it, and nothing really changed. I even got a bf out of it! If you really are close to them they wont care, and like the others have said, often one gay coming out snowballs into others coming out too.

Best of luck in taking a step out of that nasty closet

 

[hotb0d]

uh my friends didn't make a big deal out of it really. They asked if I was joking and then asked if I was pitcher or catcher. Then we had a good laugh about it. I was 20.

 

[Providence]

I'm not black and some of my closest friends are black and I say black jokes all the time and they don't care in the least because they all know it's just jokes and I don't mean any of it. Your friends could be the same with their gay jokes.

I never came out to a straight guy before, but my best friend who happens to be a guy and straight managed to figure it out on his own. He was very cool with it and supportive.

 

[rareboy]

If they don't want to be your friend because you're gay, they never were your friends anyway.

Just make new friends who are cool with you for you, not for what they think you have to be.

 

[thatguygus]

recently told my friends i'm 20 they sound like your friends making gay jokes messing around but anyways they're cool with it they make gayer jokes now and now hound me with questions kinda annoying after a while but otherwise unless you make them feel uncomfortable they'll probably be cool with it

 

[catee222]

I'm 23, and I told my closest friend a couple of months ago-- he has no problem with it as long as I respect that he's straight and not cross any boundaries.

 

[Digweed]

I think everybody is a bit apprehensive at first about telling friends etc and usually think everything is worse than it actually is... cause then when they do start to tell people they either don't bat an eyelid over it or it's something they suspected anyway and been waiting for you to tell them at some point for a long time.

That's how it was for me anyway. Whenever I heard anybody saying anything about gay it was never in a positive light which made think 'oh shit, I'm going to be ostracised when they find out about me'... and then when they did.. it wasn't a problem at all.

 

[Lube]

I think everybody is a bit apprehensive at first about telling friends etc and usually think everything is worse than it actually is... cause then when they do start to tell people they either don't bat an eyelid over it or it's something they suspected anyway and been waiting for you to tell them at some point for a long time.

That's how it was for me anyway. Whenever I heard anybody saying anything about gay it was never in a positive light which made think 'oh shit, I'm going to be ostracised when they find out about me'... and then when they did.. it wasn't a problem at all.

Exactly.

I don't know what it is about human nature, that our friends and family feel it necessary to make gay jokes when it doesn't bother them. Peer pressure?

So don't worry about gay jokes if that's the only anti-gay thing people seem to do.