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Friends Say, Parents hopes, and I don't know...

Erickivan

Erickivan

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When I started to go out with my first boyfriend, I came out to my parents telling them I was bi. For a short time they though I was, and than all started to change. They think I had change, that Im straight. They preffer to leave the topic into the unknow.... Sometimes when we fight I swear I feel like reminding them Im bi, but than again I think about how things had calm down between them and me .


Also Id being having confusion about the topic, specialy with friends. They had told me beign bi is only a Stage before you chose what to be. They say is turning Straight or Gay. Which I doubt. They told me I most choose one soon, but I don't want to. I wanna remain being bi.Even if I havent had sex with a girl, still Im attracted tom them. My friends are tacking phycologist classes at thier College. But still Im still refusing to know the fact I most chose one or the other. I really like to hear some opinions, and some tips to help me out. This thing had got me depress for a some time now and seems I can't be happy no more..:(
 
Do the nasty with a girl to find out what you really want.

Just by saying that your parents 'thought you were bi' pretty much means you aren't, am I right?
 
Well They got the facts straight I told them loud and clear I am Bi, but since we keept it out of topic they might forgoten or don't want to accept it so they hope Im straight. Plus mostly the thing that is killing me the most is my friends stuff, also I wish I could find a girl just is being hard..
 
Well, if you're adamant about being bi then prove them wrong. A psych prof of mine said the same thing about bisexuality merely being a stage of sexual development, but I've known bi guys who have been bi all their life. It's totally up to you.
 
How can I write this but I know Im bi and I won't change that, now how to tell ur friends to stop is not a stage Im gonna be bi all my life, Im one of those people who won't chose a side Im kept in the middle, still even if I havent done a girl, Im still attracted to them. They make me feel bad sometimes.....
 
Ask them what's the big deal, then. You're still you. You still apparently wear shades indoors.

You've got to ask yourself what makes you feel bad about it though. 'Cuz people confident about their orientation don't do that.
 
Well I tend to have a low self confidence... ID beign told that and I know it, I know is mess up.
 
I have low self-confidence. That's why I hit people. But whatever, if they want you to be a statistic then it's totally up to you to comply. Just don't make a huge deal out of it cuz it'll make you look totally affected and way defensive and stuff.
 
Im planning to have a extremely hot shower and to think about it. I will be myself, and lets see if I get to speak to my parents is like relivign me telling them Im bi.lol
 
Lol, What you mean by shoving it in their throats.lol

I need a good class of self cofidence. and positive stuff.lol
 
Well I would say sometimes my friends are just transparent, but those are the only friends I got right now. If I decide to ignore or push to the side I will be alone, and than I will be go crazy cause I got out hang out with them etc.

I mean I got a complex mind.lol I think alot.

Id being told thousand of times do what makes u happy.
 
Erickivan,

I totally understand your dilemma, and by me saying the following it no way means that this will also happen to you. I am just relaying my own experience which is similar to yours.

For years I held on to the belief that I was bi, 50/50 dead-on. I had relationships with guys and girls and even was engaged once to a girl for a year. But I had gay friends who would laugh at me and say that I was going through a phase and that I would eventually come to terms with my gay identity. Well, as much as I deeply believed that they were wrong - that I was in fact honest-to-goodness bi ... I have just recently come to terms with the fact that I am gay.

However, I still am somewhat attracted to females - don't get me wrong - but because I find myself more attracted to guys and prefer to be in a relationship with guys, I am more comfortable identifying as gay. I now realize what my friends have been saying all along. I do believe that for some people true bisexuality exists, but I also believe it's rare. I am also in the coming out process, and am actually happier than I have ever been that I have resolved this for myself.

Have you consciously chosen to not have sex with women or are you being really picky with what females you would sleep with? Also consider if you choose to settle down and marry a woman:

(1) will you be open with her about your bisexuality? In my experience there are a miniscule number out there who will accept this - unless they are bisexual too - and you're playing the odds finding that one girl like you.

(2) will you be comfortable declaring yourself monogamous with her and in essence giving up any sexual relationships with men? This was a pivotal question in my experience. I could not comfortably answer this question as a YES in my book. And I am not the type to keep a double life with someone I commit with like that (hence the engagement breakup).

Also Erickivan, don't let your friends dictate if / when you have to choose - that is ridiculous. That is something personal ... you seem like you're still a young guy ... explore some more and in time you will know whether your current beliefs will stay the same or change. Don't fight any conflicts that you may have ... accept what will make you the happiest!

Sorry for the long post - but you brought up a personal issue for me :)

Good luck bro (*8*)
 
First I havent had the chance to have a girlfriend yet. I know many friends say is a stage cause once I tried some pussy they say I will chose which one I like the most. Right now I wanna stay this way Bi, I just growing up and this issues seems to keep me down sometimes, is like I have multiple personalities every week. I also had though about being marry. My plans in the future is to marry a women a have kids, keep living, and Im open bi to all my friends and co workers. If Im to find a girl she most really accept they way I am, even if it takes a long time to find.
 
Erickivan said:
I also had though about being marry. My plans in the future is to marry a women a have kids, keep living, and Im open bi to all my friends and co workers. If Im to find a girl she most really accept they way I am, even if it takes a long time to find.
Click to expand...

This was me too ... but I got tired of the wait and in the process found my real happiness ... and life is too short to let this cause you grief. Again, I sound like I am trying to sway you but I am not. You're simply mirroring my world so much.
 
Bi isn't just a stage, it is for a lot of gay men, but not for all.

Is it for you I don't know. Tell your friends to shut up for it doesn't matter anything to them. If they want you to be happy they want you to be happy not the way they think you will be happy. Same thing for your parents.
 
erickvan, i have always found girls attractive, but i'm definitely gay. it IS a good idea to try it with a girl and reinforce yourself on your bi status. there ARE guys who are bi all their life and get just as much pleasure from one sex as from the other. if you're just as hot for a girl as for a guy, that's great. if not, that's also great
ding
 
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