The Original Gay Porn Community - Free Gay Movies and Photos, Gay Porn Site Reviews and Adult Gay Forums

  • Welcome To Just Us Boys - The World's Largest Gay Message Board Community

    In order to comply with recent US Supreme Court rulings regarding adult content, we will be making changes in the future to require that you log into your account to view adult content on the site.
    If you do not have an account, please register.
    REGISTER HERE - 100% FREE / We Will Never Sell Your Info

    PLEASE READ: To register, turn off your VPN (iPhone users- disable iCloud); you can re-enable the VPN after registration. You must maintain an active email address on your account: disposable email addresses cannot be used to register.

  • The Support & Advice forum is a no-flame zone.
    The members offering support and advice do so with the best intention. If you ask for advice, we don't require you to take the advice, but we do ask that you listen and give it consideration.

Friend's wedding this weekend, inappropriate to come out?

C

chgoguy

Joined
Jul 28, 2009
Posts
2
Reaction score
0
Points
0
Hi all,

Cool forum.

So I recently came out at the old age of 29. While my life is still pretty much "straight," I now have a BF.

It's been a great experience, everybody who means something to me is very supportive. I'm pissed at myself for waiting so long.

I'm headed to a wedding this weekend where I'll be with a very close group of friends. They live on the other side of the country from me, so we don't get to see each other much. I have not formally come out to them.

I'm really struggling if I should come out or not. I don't want my friend who's getting married to think, "Chgoguy was more popular at our wedding because he came out at it." Or in a similar fashion, I don't want my friend's anniversary to also be linked with my coming out to the group, "yeah man, I remember your wedding...that was when chgoguy came out to all of us!"

It's really a tough call.

Interestingly, the BF will be hanging out with me -- but it's because he's going to be in the same city as the wedding for work. He won't be at the ceremony.

I think I'm not going to do anything official, but if one of my friends asks, I'm not going to deny it.

When the wedding's over and I see them again, I'll tell them and say, "and btw, you already met the bf!" :)

Any thoughts?
 
I like the last idea. Just like throw it in there after the wedding is over.
 
I agree with the above. Do not come out at the wedding. There is a good chance that it will seem like you stole the lovely couple's thunder. Not a good idea.

But a question: when are they meeting the boyfriend? If it's a drink at the pub or something else informal, you could slip it in to the conversation. Even there: be careful. Don't want to seem like you're pulling the attention to yourself.
 
chgoguy said:
When the wedding's over and I see them again, I'll tell them and say, "and btw, you already met the bf!" :)
Click to expand...

This. :-)

Might make it less awkward having told them they already met him if they aren't accustomed to gay couples perhaps
 
If the wedding invitation was to you and "a guest" and you've RSVPd, then call the bride and tell her that you want to bring your boyfriend to the wedding. Ask her if she is comfortable with the situation of you coming out to the rest of your friends after her wedding.

The reason you're doing having to do all of this tap-dancing is not because you have to ask for permission to bring your boyfriend but because you have not come out to your friends- that's the real problem here, isn't it?

But honestly- these are your friends- why don't you call them (including the bride) before the wedding, tell them that you're bringing your boyfriend and that you would like for the group of you to get together for drinks before the wedding. If they don't understand- well, then they're not really your friends, are they? That would be the best way to handle the situation and it would also give you a chance to catch up with everyone because apparently, there's a lot of catching up that you all need to do.
 
Don't do anything to overshadow the wedding. Your sexuality is not important at this point. Wait until it's over if you feel you must announce your new boyfriend. Even if he shows up at the wedding, it's going to pose questions that you'll need to answer, thus taking the focus off the wedding. Why not wait until you're back home after the wedding to either call or send your friends an email with the news, explaining that you would have done it in person, but didn't want to take the focus off your friends' wedding.
 
I say, wait until the moment the priest says "Speak now or forever hold your peace" then come out.

Then post a video of the ceremony... I'd love to see it!

=)
 
Thanks for all your replies.

I'm glad to see my thought about stealing the newlyweds' fame is relatively unanimous. (I was worried it was an excuse I was making for myself.)

I wouldn't call the fact I haven't come out to this group of friends a "problem" per se, it's merely the fact that they live on a different coast and I would like to deliver the news in person. I'm not at all worried about their reactions, but regardless of how accepting and supportive my friends will be, it's still an emotional shock. And I think if anything should be shocking this weekend, it should stem from the wedding and not the fact that I like dick. :)
 
Come out after the wedding AND after the reception or just before it ends, like in the hallway afterwards during long goodbyes or if the recption is early, take them to a bar and do it there.

Do it after the bride and groom have gone off to (or are just about to go off to) their hotel room.
 
KaraBulut said:
If the wedding invitation was to you and "a guest" and you've RSVPd, then call the bride and tell her that you want to bring your boyfriend to the wedding. Ask her if she is comfortable with the situation of you coming out to the rest of your friends after her wedding.
Click to expand...

I'd like to change my vote, if possible. To that.
 
Yes don't steal your friend's thunder. You've waited 29 years, what's a few more days?
 
Groover said:
I say, wait until the moment the priest says "Speak now or forever hold your peace" then come out.

Then post a video of the ceremony... I'd love to see it!

=)
Click to expand...

Wedding Hall 25k
Tuxedo and Dress 15k
DJ/Band 10k
Photographer 5k
Your best friend screams out, "I'm Gay!" right when the priest says, ""Speak now or forever hold your peace." Priceless!
:D
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top