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From bisexual to gay?

D

dapanzo

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Hi!

Could a bisexual man (who enjoys sex with both men and women) turn gay? I mean, if he likes eating pussy and the body of a woman; but all of a sudden he claims he prefers gay sex and men?
I am talking about a 50 y.o. guy, who only has sex with his wife (and never have been sexually with another woman); and then he tries sex with a young guy and...voila! He enjoys it more with the guy!

Have you been in this situation; or do you know something like this?

Thanks!
 
...meaning you? :)

I can follow the progression, but I wouldn't consider it as cut and dried as all that. If I read your post correctly, you're talking about a guy who has at least sort of had a thing for guys for fifty years...and then FINALLY given it a go. And it went extremely well. This doesn't mean that he's now gay. It just means that the sex he had was great, and it has some novelty factor in addition. And, if the wife is still his wife, there also may be some "cheating/excitement" factor on top of that, as well.

Most bisexuals I know don't always look on both sexes perfectly equally. They might favor one or the other at various times. It may be that you're currently favoring "homo". It doesn't mean "hetero" is dead and buried.

Lex
 
The theoretical answer is that we're all bisexual and he just finally found what he was most comfortable with.

But it's also like asking about someone who has drunk white wine all their life until they had a fine red wine... they still like wine but now they have a clear preference...
 
Thank you guys! I am not the 50 y.o...I´m the young guy.
If you have a clear preference, then can we say that the old man is more into gay?
My definition of bisexuality is when you don´t care about the gender of that person you want to have sex with...but if you are more into one gender, you are re-defyning yourself as straight or gay. Bisexuality is being in the middle.

It is just that I cannot understand someone who is gay claiming he is bisexual. I know fear is a factor.
 
Then your definition is wrong. The general term for somebody who doesn't care about the gender they sleep with is either "pansexual" or "omnisexual". Bisexuals are simply attracted to people of both genders. If they wrote a list of people they found attractive, you'd find both men and women on that list. That doesn't mean they're attracted to everybody, or they don't care what gender they go to bed with. They can still have very specific likes and dislikes, and they can go through periods where they favor one gender or the other.

Lex
 
And very few bisexuals are 50-50% attracted to both genders.

And very few bisexuals are able to be involved with both genders simultaneously.

It's always changing.
 
Sexuality is not only on a continuum, but it can shift along that continuum, depending on a lot of factors.

It's nearly impossible to say where your friend is coming from--or headed. Sometimes these feelings are pretty confusing, and intimidating. About the only thing you can do is take his word at face value, at the moment. Time will tell where his interests really lay. If you are interested in him, then be supportive and "there" for him; I don't think you stand any more chance of being disappointed than anyone else in the beginnings of a budding relationship.

There could be other stressors, though. Making a shift in identity between straight and bi and gay is more than just sexual activity in the bedroom. It's relating to another man in everyday social situations and responding to the needs of another male instead of a female. This is quite an adjustment, really, and there can be some clumsy bumps along the road. I mention that only because it's quite a surprise to both parties, sometimes, and if you recognize the likelihood of those tensions arising, the more you'll be prepared to handle them.

Good luck! I hope this works out great for you.
 
I know a guy who in his late 40's swears that he never had a clue
the liked men until one day she stumbled into a gay chat room on AOL
and "BOOM" he's gay. I find that hard to believe, By the time I hit
High School, I knew exactly what was going on. Admitting it to another
human being was another story, But I knew I liked men, probably as
far back as Junior High
 
My bestie and I have had this conversation before and we both agree. Sexuality is a fluid thing that can change at the drop of a hat. I know a lot of people will probably respond saying I'm wrong, but I'm not, because there's always going to be that one person who is the exception to your sexuality....so just relax, if something happens it happens, if it doesn't, at least you had fun the first time
 
It really depends on the person. At one point in my life, I thought I was bisexual too. But I think it was just me trying to convince myself of that, like somehow it was not a bad as just being gay. I had dated girls and even cared about them. But I finally realized that I am just gay.
 
Leaving aside the sex-with-men issue, if someone came of age in the 1970s and has only had sex with one woman in his life, he's probably from a very conservative/traditional background. Any sexuality was probably a big deal for him.

In the end, what does it matter if he was bi or gay all along?
 
I considered myself bisexual from the day I knew I liked men up until 2 years ago.
My attraction towards women drastically dropped. I use to be only sexually attracted to guys, but only emotionally attracted to women. It's not so anymore. I consider myself just gay now.
 
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