Gay men - when are we no longer considered a virgin?

[RationalLunacy]

I knew I was no longer a virgin when my image faded from the grilled cheese sandwich.

 

[_AJ_]

I knew I was no longer a virgin when my image faded from the grilled cheese sandwich.

thanks RL its so clear now

 

[Christopher123]

I'm just curious, since i'm not really sure where to classify myself. How does a gay male lose his virginity? Does it *have* to be from vaginal intercourse?

I certainly frickin hope not

What about anal? What if (like me), you're not sure if you want to have anal intercourse? Does that mean I can have a boyfriend for 10 years that I do everything with (except anal), and still be a virgin? This confuses me.

Actually, these are very good questions. I mean, if I penetrate a guy but haven't been penetrated myself yet, am I still a virgin? Switch that question around.

I too would be interested in everyone else's opinion.

I don't consider myself to be a virgin because I've done both. I've given and have received (with one guy). I guess maybe if you've given but haven't received, you'd be an ass virgin? But then what if you've received yet haven't given? If you haven't "dipped your stick" (pardon the horrible description, but this was from lack of a better way to put it) then are you still a virgin or do you have to 'receive' to be considered de-flowered?

I think I just confused myself, but these are, in my opinion, very good questions.

 

[Leidian]

I think you have to have your own personal definition. Since vaginas aren't really an option for us - and anal isn't considered an option by every gay man - you just have to determine what your limits are, and when you reach them then you're no longer a virgin.

For me, I knew since I came to terms with being gay that I wanted to have anal sex should the opportunity come up - that it was something I would be willing to at least try once. So when I got head for the first time I still considered myself a virgin. When I actually had anal intercourse for the first time - then I was no longer a virgin. I don't make the distinction between top/bottom as to whether or not it counts.

 

[Croynan]

I'm just curious, since i'm not really sure where to classify myself. How does a gay male lose his virginity? Does it *have* to be from vaginal intercourse? What about anal? What if (like me), you're not sure if you want to have anal intercourse? Does that mean I can have a boyfriend for 10 years that I do everything with (except anal), and still be a virgin? This confuses me.

I like this thread. Tis dealing with some very important and serious issues and ideas, something we have not been seeing to much of lately around here.

The ramifications of the ideas that could immerge from this thread are just superb in terms of discussing the "natures of homosexual sexual behaviours," and what the significance of them are.

What a truly intelligent thread. Bravo and Well Done.




eM.

and by the way,

 

[halubtsi]

I agree with surfboy18's definition. But I'd also include handjobs. Basically, I'm no longer a virgin the moment that someone else touches my cock (or if I touch someone else's cock) in a sexual manner. Meaning, we try to get each other off.

 

[secondmonkey]

If you have an orgasm that somebody else caused, then you're done.

 

[Johnny Yen]

Jesus says you cease being a virgin the moment you act upon an impure thought.

 

[Smitho]

I think it comes from anal intercourse, either one way or the other, but really its up to you, and I don't think I would worry or argue with any of the descriptions here.

 

[Swellegant]

I don't really think that virginity exists for males... even for females, there is the physical hymen, but you aren't necessarily a virgin just because it's intact (there are other ways of having sex, after all), and not necessarily a non-virgin if it's not (you can break the silly thing by accident, or by yourself).

Instead of thinking about sex in terms of virginity and non-virginity, we might be better to think of it in terms of experience and non-experience. There are so many experiences that we will never have, either by inclination or by circumstance, that there is always some sexual practice of which we will remain innocent... especially for gay men, whose menu of sexuality is not limited to the heterosexual's rather bland acceptance of missionary-position phallo-vaginal intercourse as "normal sex."

Some men have whole sex-lives that consist entirely of oral or manual or frottage; and some don't consider themselves properly deflowered until they've been whipped bloody and penetrated by a meaty forearm. It's all a matter of how you feel about it, whether you consider your experiences so far as sufficiently complete.

 

[davy]

i look at intent when i comes to virginality (is that a word?)

if someone has intentionally tried to help you orgasm, then you're not a virgin. this way, it doesn't rely on any bases (first, second, third), anal play (annilingus or anal sex), fellatio, or touching.

unfortunately, this defines my well-over-ripened-cherry to date.

fuck... at my age, it's less like a cherry and more like a raisin now.

 

[Lefty]

i tend to agree with second monkey and davy

if you have had or have assisted someone else to orgasm, you've 'popped' your cherry (what a disgusting expression)

 

[ronnie_h]

I think the whole virginity thing is just a stupid idea. Men don't have a hymen so they can't use their virginity. It's just the typical macho idea of being 'the first' which was adopted from the straight male behaviour of dominating and controling women. There is no proof of virginity for men (and I wish there wasn't one for women either, because it would make the world a lot better in some parts), so simply forget about this crap.

It should be important for you WHO is or was your first and that you have a great memory of it and him. There is no change of your body if you been fucked/sucked or have fucked/sucked never, once or a hundred times. It's just a mental thing and the only thing you gain is experience.

 

[starlight70]

And to think that someone told me that once he touches my pee pee, I am no longer a virgin.

Damn him!

 

[innocentbychoice]

I agree with something someone said. We have 2 virginities. I was a top the first time I had sex and wasn't a bottom cuz I didn't feel ready. So I said I was still 50% virgin then I did it and...no longer a virgin, front or back.

 

[trawler69]

In general terms I think that losing ones virginity occurs when you cause an orgasm in another person and another person causes one in you. The final aim in the sexual act is to cause an orgasm or to have one caused in you so once this has been achieved you are no longer a virgin. You can of course subdivide this into anal virgin or oral virgin or fisting virgin or any other sort you can imagine. I choose the general term above because it makes sense to me.

I hope others disagree and give reasons, it is an interesting subject rarely addressed.

 

[FREDDIE187]

In general terms I think that losing ones virginity occurs when you cause an orgasm in another person and another person causes one in you. The final aim in the sexual act is to cause an orgasm or to have one caused in you so once this has been achieved you are no longer a virgin. You can of course subdivide this into anal virgin or oral virgin or fisting virgin or any other sort you can imagine. I choose the general term above because it makes sense to me.

I hope others disagree and give reasons, it is an interesting subject rarely addressed.

I agree with your definition trawler. I don't think subdivisions is necessary.

 

[Claudio63]

For me virginity deals with sexual intercourse more than physical purity or being untouched. So I think the moment you have sexual intercourse (penetration) - top or bottom - with someone else you are no longer virgin. I don't think penetration is only anal. Oral sex, for me, is sexual intercourse too (technically speaking, if the penis of one person has been introduced into the body of another - that's penetration). I would consider masturbation and even mutual masturbation as sexual initiation but I'd still think a guy who has only jerked off (or been jerked off by) another is a virgin.

And you can stick whatever object you want as far up your wazoo as you want. If it isn't a real dick, you're still virgin, you're just no longer innocent. Innocence is lost the moment you even fantasize of having sex, and shouldn't be confused with virginity, IMO. And those lucky SOBs who can suck themselves off, if you haven't sucked dicks other than your own you're also virgins.

I'd probably go as far as saying you have to have a satisfying sexual intercourse with someone to no longer be a virgin. But that would raise a lot of subjective questions about what sexual satisfaction is.

 

[Claudio63]

It should be important for you WHO is or was your first and that you have a great memory of it and him. There is no change of your body if you been fucked/sucked or have fucked/sucked never, once or a hundred times. It's just a mental thing and the only thing you gain is experience.

That's an interesting point because in spite of topping and bottoming a few times during my childhood and early teens with kids roughly my age, I didn't feel I'd lost my virginity until I got buttfucked by an older gentleman when I was 20. So, maybe virginity is like youth... "you're as virgin as you feel"?

 

[Centexfarmer]

I'm just curious, since i'm not really sure where to classify myself. How does a gay male lose his virginity? Does it *have* to be from vaginal intercourse? What about anal? What if (like me), you're not sure if you want to have anal intercourse? Does that mean I can have a boyfriend for 10 years that I do everything with (except anal), and still be a virgin? This confuses me.

You'll always be a "virgin" of something until you do it!

A Gay virgin is someone who's never had Gay sex.

Which makes me a Heterosexual Virgin.

It's true. I've never had sex with a woman! EVER!

But am I a Gay virgin? Vanilla is only the beginning!