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Gay siblings

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tegarcho

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Hey everyone! I have been a lurker of these forums for the past several months now and all of the personal stories on here have really been a major catalyst of my own coming out and I thank anyone who has posted for that.

A little background: I am 21 years old and told one of my best friends that I was gay in May . Since then, I have pretty much told every good female friend that I am gay all with supportive/I love you results. Finally on Saturday, I mustered up the courage to tell my roommate, the first straight male which was a big step for me. I feel more comfortable at home more now than ever (!)
I am pretty much fed up of being semi-closeted although I still have one major hurdle to jump. I am the youngest of three brothers and my oldest brother happens to be gay. I feel like once I tell my parents I really don't care what anyone thinks anymore, but I am just so hung up on the fact that my older brother is gay even though my parents fully support him. This probably sounds like a really easy situation to overcome as my brother has already tested the parental waters with positive results. Even though I ultimately know what I need to do and the probable outcome, I can't seem to jump. Anyone else have a gay sibling or knows gay siblings that could offer me some insight?

Thanks for your time!
 
You brother is Gay?

Dude, you have no need to sweat this one. Just do it.
 
Considering you have the benefit of having a sibling who's out and accepted, it should be easier for you. You should talk to your bro. I don't have any siblings let alone people I know in person that are gay.
 
Tell your bro first.
 
There is no need to wait on this one. Unless he has broken gaydar, your brother already knows. Your parents probably know or suspect anyway. Good parents seem to pick this stuff up.
 
I'm with Rareboy. Tell your brother first.
 
Even though I'd rather talk to my bro face to face, I think I am going to call him later today. Even with these few simple replies, it has given me enough confidence.

Thanks for reaffirming what I have been thinking for 8 fucking years
 
good luck Tegarcho. I salute you for the courage to do so!
(*8*) update us ok?
 
I do not have any gay siblings myself, but my partner has a very good friend who is gay and has a gay brother. Their coming out to their parents was so funny that I wanted to pass it along to you, for what it's worth.

This friend decided to come out to his parents at a family dinner on Saturday night. His brother called from Chicago, unexpectedly, informing him that he was making a surprise visit that weekend. Great! he thought--he'll be at the dinner too and he can tell everyone at once.

So, he goes to the airport to pick up his brother who, on the way home from the airport, informs him that he's come home to tell their parents he's gay, but wanted him (his brother) to know first.

LOL!

So, the guy tells his brother he is too and had planned to tell everyone at dinner on Saturday night too. So, they both came out together and all was fine.

Anyway, good luck with this and let us know how it goes!
 
My boyfriends oldest little brother is gay, and he had already told his mother to expect him to come out YEARS before he actually did! She is very accepting of both of them, and she LOVES me like I'm one of her own!
 
Hello,

Like you Tegarcho , I am a lurker here but your thread has definitely made me wanna intervene.

I am 27 and gay (I say that with some hesitation but hey I like penises and they like me a lot so I can't be that straight ) and I found out last that my 23 year old sister is a disciple of the Vagina. Now neither of us are out to our parents, the main reason being that we come from West Africa and that homosexuality there supposedly does not exist (whatever!!!!) Up until I found out that my sister was gay , I had toyed with the idea of coming out of the closet but now that I know for my sis, it's just not an option anymore.

We already know how society feels as a whole about homosexuality and for those of us that have come ou to their parents/families and that have been accepted, whether we want it or not, it is somewhat a privilege, or at least something extraordinary (read out of the ordinary here). So those parents who love their children no matter what (the way God intended for it to happen) may be able to handle one gay child. But two doesn't seem as easy as some of you might assume it to be. In order to be the accepting parents they are, they might have had to put in a lot of work (emotionally speaking), hurdles to overcome (as to their own sense of having succeeded with their children and what not) and much time spent wrapping their minds around the idea that one of their kids, in some cases their only kids are not straight. So another one coming out might actually make things bad if the acceptance of the other gay child is not solidly grounded in a certain worldview.

In your case Tegarcho, you are the only one who knows your parents. One thing you must absolutely do before you go any further is that you consult with your brother in order to make this eventual coming out as smooth as possible for your parents but mostly for yourself. Coming out is more often than not a hard process and sometimes our circumstances make it harder or easier. in your case , I wish for the latter.

The best of luck to you and hope this was somewhat helpful, even though I'm not sure I make a lot of sense given that this is an issue that makes me emotional.

Sorry for any typos or mistakes
 
tell your brother first and he can help you with ideas as to how to tell your parents or he can go with you and support you as you tell your parents.
 
Apparently some people can have difficulty coming out after a sibling already has. It has something to do with pressure to carry on the family. Of course it can be worse when your dad doesn't know and wants you to have a kid with the woman he thinks is your girlfriend...
 
So this didn't go exactly as I had planned, but basically I ended up telling my straight brother on Saturday. Also when I was home for break, I noticed my mom dropping a couple of hints that she knows, but I still haven't told her. Anyways over Christmas my gay brother will be in town and my secret will be out. Its going to be a gay Christmas. ;)
 
Wow, it takes balls to come out to anyone dude! Awesome that you got to talk to your bro. I've only come out to 2 people in the str8 world...one of my best friends (female) in NYC and my str8 roommie. I live very long distances from the rest of my family, so I don't know if/when I will ever care to cross that bridge. I'm sure you will feel as liberated as everyone else that comes out once you tell the parents. Rock on stud!
-j
 
landers said:
Apparently some people can have difficulty coming out after a sibling already has. It has something to do with pressure to carry on the family. Of course it can be worse when your dad doesn't know and wants you to have a kid with the woman he thinks is your girlfriend...
Click to expand...

Pshht, the pressure is there even if you're the only one. I'm the oldest son and my dad once sat me down to discuss my future family responsibility. He should be glad he has another son with wife #2, let's just hope for him to be straight or my dad's heritage plans go down the drain.
 
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