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Gays: "Given Up On The Opposite Gender"?!

Nomenclature

Nomenclature

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Okay, not to offend anyone (seeing as how this offends even me), but I just have to ask:


A few friends i've come out to online have point-blank told me "I think you're gay because you've given up on the opposite gender", and my best gay friend for the past few years was told the same thing when he came out to his straight friends.


Where does this "giving up on the opposite gender" thing come from? Is there any possible truth to it for anyone? Did you date girls growing up and then "give up" on them after you realized guys were right for you?



\(o_O)/
 
Oh brother! Ask them when they gave up on guys. When will people realize that when one grows up in a heterosexist world one might take on hetero characteristics just to fit in? This eventually gives way as a person figures out what is going on with them.
 
Are these people who themselves are having problems with the other gender? I smell denial.
 
Lube said:
Are these people who themselves are having problems with the other gender? I smell denial.
Click to expand...

These are straight friends who apparently like to gossip about and psycoanalyze their friends behind their back. That's all I know. These are two straight men, and a straight woman.


One guy apparently "learned in college psych" that "bisexuals don't exist; people are either gay or straight".


#-o
 
Stay Far, Far away from that college since the exact opposite is much closer to the truth; more people are varying degrees of bisexual than are actually 100% at either end of the spectrum.

When I was younger and I was breaking up with my girlfriend because I'd finally decided that males were who I was really attracted to on a deep level, even though I really loved her, she asked if I couldn't "work on that." Like what did she think I could do, push-ups and crunches? I've recently been dumped by a young guy because he decided he really was into his girl friend, so it works both ways.
-c

Nomenclature said:
One guy apparently "learned in college psych" that "bisexuals don't exist; people are either gay or straight".


#-o
Click to expand...
 
I did give up on the opposite gender.

I sat around for years waiting for me to be attracted to them. I dated a few, but no sparks ever flew. I looked at pictures of girl bits while jerking off, but if there was a guy in the picture, my eyes kept getting drawn to him. I finally tried looking at guys, and it was like the world's largest lightbulb got turned on above my head. I decided to "give gay a try" for awhile. Didn't tell anybody - just tried digging guys to see if it wore off. After six months, I was still just as horny for guys, if not more.

At which point, I gave up on the opposite gender.

What was I supposed to do? At that point, I figured "This is what's working - I'll stick with this."

Lex
 
I've heard that too from one guy. He was like I thought it was because some girl broke your heart and you decided to just go for guys instead. But not for me I knew I was gay since I was a little boy :D Im sure its possible but that person must be really unstable and be weak minded if they are easily encouraged to change orientations....
 
Some people are just completely ignorant to foreign things. They make up whatever shit makes sense to them so they act like they know something. I dealt with my mom telling me I simply choose to like guys, that it's completely an option. And I'm just like, did you simply choose to become a dumbass.
 
"given up on the opposite gender" comes from being ignorant. Simple as that. Some people are too lazy or too stupid to do seek true knowledge so they just depend on stereotypes and others to make judgment.

did you say anything back to them?
 
I agree.

Ask all of them if they're straight because they gave up on same sex relationships.

Your friends sound like mouth breathing idiots.

Get better friends.
 
My mother is like that with my cousin i think shes lesbian because she never dated a guy before. You never know a good looking guy might come along and snatch her away from her girlfriend. Or shes going through a phase
 
rareboy said:
Ask all of them if they're straight because they gave up on same sex relationships.
Click to expand...


I basically said that, and it kinda disarmed them a bit once they were given perspective on it. Okay, and I also told one guy that I gave up on his mother, but yeah:


I've noticed that 99% of the straight guys i've come out to have honestly been very dumb about sexuality and psychology in general until they get insight from a woman, or a gay man. You have to remember: Women and gay men make NO sense to straight men at all, and they spend a lot of time trying to figure us out. :badgrin:


I know this'll sound weird, but I honestly feel sorry for most straight men, and i'm secretly very thankful I don't have to live in their world or put up with the things they do on a daily basis; I couldn't imagine being in a relationship and being that insecure with my sexuality, or understanding so little about my partner.



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RobertACE said:
My former boyfriend was repulsed by the idea of having sex with a women.
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You'll be surprised how many people - gay or straight - begin to question their sexuality simply because they AREN'T completely repulsed by the idea of sex with the "other gender". I have to remind some people that sexuality is about attraction, not repulsion. :lol:
 
Nomenclature said:
I know this'll sound weird, but I honestly feel sorry for most straight men, and i'm secretly very thankful I don't have to live in their world or put up with the things they do on a daily basis; I couldn't imagine being in a relationship and being that insecure with my sexuality, or understanding so little about my partner.
Click to expand...
Not weird at all. I actually agree about not understanding your partner.

I also get the impression straight men get a lot less sex than gay men.
 
I think that the notion that homosexuality is the last resort for either extreme fetishists or people who are sexually incompetent, comes from society's idea that male gender supremacy is something that must be upheld above all other qualities in a man.

Many people assume that one 'turns' gay because one is incapable of properly functioning with the female gender and thus, has to become feminized in order to have any means of sexual expression.

Absurd, disrespectful, misogynistic and infantile but, oh-so-true for many people. I hope that they are not too shocked when they discover that there isn't a Santa Claus watching them to determine whether they deserve Christmas presents next year, the Tooth Fairy doesn't exist, either, and Disney films don't necessarily reflect reality.
 
I think it's cause some people just don't understand what being gay is, like, to them, if you're not heterosexual, then, there's something "wrong" with you, or that everyone is "born straight" then "chooses" their sexuality. It's just because we live in a, mainly heteronormative world.

Don't let it bother you so much, normally, it's just due to some ignorance that people say things like that.
 
It's probably yet another case of "as for me, so for all". Or, to quote my brother from his early teens, "how can you not like boobies?". You know how it goes. I like chocolate, so everybody likes chocolate. And if you don't like chocolate, well, you just need to try Ghiradelli, and THEN you'll understand how great chocolate is. Or you must have had a bad experience with chocolate once - maybe it made you sick, or you had some bad chocolate - but once you get over your "issues" with chocolate (and you really should), you can start enjoying it again.

It's unfathomable to these people that some people just don't like chocolate.

Lex
 
I got that reaction from a straight friend too. I think it is a mixture of things. Their denial of your sexuality because they can't / don't want to associate you with the cliches they have in their mind about gay guys and so they tell themselves that you're not really gay it's just that you aren't trying hard enough with girls and trying gay cause it's easier to get sex. Yeah right!
 
RobertACE said:
Not surprised at all!

LOL, I actually agree .... I'm bisexual myself.

I'm just saying sexuality isn't a choice for many! But, I also think sexuality can be a very complex issue that many struggle with as well, including myself.
Click to expand...

Absolutely. Apparently, they see us struggling to accept our identity and somehow get "He went with boys because he's a nerd and couldn't get a date with a girl!" out of that. Neil Patrick Harris didn't even realize he gay until he was in his 30s, because he kept trying to get over the awkwardness he felt dating and having sex with girls! He figured that he was just typecasted as a nerdy, not-very-sexy guy and that was the problem.


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Lube said:
Not weird at all. I actually agree about not understanding your partner.

I also get the impression straight men get a lot less sex than gay men.
Click to expand...


True, but straight people think that it's because gay men are hornier. The reality is that we're horny because we're GUYS, straight or gay. In a straight relationship, the woman controls the sex. With two guys, there's no one to say "Not now; I have a headache", or "I feel like you're using me for my body!". Women absolutely get horny and enjoy sex, too but they have completely different psyches and emotional needs.



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G-Lexington said:
It's probably yet another case of "as for me, so for all". Or, to quote my brother from his early teens, "how can you not like boobies?".
Click to expand...


Hahahaha Well, a lot of gay men DO like boobies, but just not the same way that straight men do.


You know how it goes. I like chocolate, so everybody likes chocolate. And if you don't like chocolate, well, you just need to try Ghiradelli, and THEN you'll understand how great chocolate is. Or you must have had a bad experience with chocolate once - maybe it made you sick, or you had some bad chocolate - but once you get over your "issues" with chocolate (and you really should), you can start enjoying it again.

It's unfathomable to these people that some people just don't like chocolate.

Lex
Click to expand...


lmao That's an amazing perspective. I KNEW I had to start posting here.







Thanks guys. I know my posts are long and wordy as hell, but I've always felt like an outcast because I completely clash with the gay scene; It seems like basically every belief, opinion and experience I have offends them. It's nice to be able to discuss things openly here, and to even have people understand and agree.


*bro hugz*
 
Really, they don't understand you and you don't understand them. You're not a straight guy and Lex already explained the rest.

Sure it's annoying, but what can you do? Try explaining in great detail just what you love about cock. They won't want to listen, so if every time they say this, you explain what you like to do with a nice, big, purple, throbber, eventually they'll stop bringing it up.
 
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