General Advice Needed For Dealing With Onlookers

[nater09]

There's a difference in being assertive and being aggressive (straight forward/bitchy). It may definitely be the "easier" way to not want to hurt someone's feelings while they're standing in front of you complimenting you, but it's definitely the better choice in my opinion.

Giving someone your number implies to them that you may actually be interested,;when you avoid them later you're giving them a reason to conclude that you're a bitch (as you put it).

From the sounds of it, you're a very kind-hearted, sweet guy. Remember that it's ok to own your feelings and not be attracted to certain people, and it's ok to tell them that in a non judgmental, non hurtful way. Honesty doesn't have to equal hostility.

There are about as many ways to politely and respectfully decline someone's offer as there are to try to pick someone up. I've read a lot of good suggestions in this thread. When I'm in that kind of situation, I usually start with telling him how sweet or kind it is of him to pay me such a nice compliment. "Aww, thanks... that was so sweet!" Even if it's someone that I would NEVER even give a moment of consideration to. Just because they may not have the potential for romantic involvement, doesn't mean that they wouldn't be a great friend or a great contact to have in the future. Who knows, they might be the owner of a business and you may need that job one day...

After acknowledging their compliment I usually go with a pretty straight forward answer. "I'm really flattered... but I have to be honest, I'm just not looking for anything more than friends right now. **Pouty sad face** I hope you can understand."

I've never met a bad reaction using that. They have all been appreciative of the fact that I was honest, and I've actually found and maintained some great friendships that way as well.

Hope that helps some. Good luck!

 

[thisisinteresting]

It's really as simple as not responding with "GOOD HOW ARE YOU? " because that shows you want to converse further.

Think about it.

You go up to a guy and say, "hi, how are you?" if they respond with

A) "I'm good how are you?"

it shows they want to converse... if it's more like

"ok."

"*shrug* alright." and just show a general disinterest, it will probably get more people off your back... if people are too thick to read your body language, then you'll have to just be straightforward... and don't give them your cell phone number, silly.

 

[Ryuukie]

OMG, I was going to do exactly like TX-BEAU. You're like the girl in Oklahoma who couldn't say no.

But, seriously, you can be polite and emphatic at the same time. Just say thank, but I'm not interested. Or, I just want to be friends. It takes practice, but I'm sure you can do it.