Girl I had sex with was pregnant with my child, but miscarried, and i just found out.

[midnightromeo13]

So, I don't even know where to begin with this. I have know i was gay since i was 10 years old. I knew i was different, and i knew i wasn't interested in females. I had a long coming out, and i did a lot of bad things, that i probably shouldn't of. I am now 20, and i am a sophomore in college. During my Freshmen year i had a on and off relationship with the wrong guy. He used me for sex, and thats basically all he wanted me for. During our Thanksgiving break, i was a complete mess. I had never considered anything with a female, and i was just confused about my sexuality, which i never though would happen.

During that break I ended up having sex with a girl, and proved to myself that i was gay. I know this sounds like I used the girl, but we had both said that this was just sex, and that it meant nothing. The next day the first thing i said i was gay, and she was actually happy. She has a list of things to do before she dies, and having sex with a gay guy was one of them. We kept in contact after i got back to college for the rest of the semester, and the following one.

This past summer this girl and I hung out all the time. We became super close friends, and i consider her my best friend. The girl i should tell you had a child when she was 16, and her brother adopted the little girl, seeing as earlier the same year his wife had a miscarriage. Well this past October the daughter was diagnosed with Leukemia. She died this morning from it, she was 5 years old. I had stayed with my friend and her "niece" for 2 weeks when she was visiting. So hearing of her death made me extremely sad.

This is where the story gets interesting. She called me this afternoon and told me she had to tell me something, that could potentially ruin our friendship, which got me pretty worried. After we had sex, a couple weeks later she found out she was pregnant. There were 2 possibilities on who the father was. This guy she had sex with a couple weeks before we did, or me. She didn't mention anything to me right away, cause I had worn a condom, and the other guy didn't. Before the DNA tests could come back, she miscarried. The DNA tests came back negative. The child was mine. I could be a father right now.

I told my closest and truest friend. He didn't really know how to respond. And i completely understand. If she would of had the baby, i would of been there for her entirely. I would of done anything i could of just to make sure that she and my child would of been taken care of.

I cannot be mad at my friend at all. She didn't know me that well, and since she had a miscarriage, she didn't seem it truly necessary to bring it up to me. I don't even know what to think anymore. I know i have every right to be sad. I have always loved kids, do i think i'm ready to be a father, no, but still. I was going to be, but i'm not. Am i making a big deal out of this, cause i feel like i am?

 

[Chardius]

No your making just the right amount of "deal" of this. My aunt miscarried before she ended up adopting for her second child. Its a big deal.

Did she tell you in the interest of just being honest because you have came to be so close?

 

[Sk8ter_Boy]

Consider it a blessing, you are too young for kids and obviously she has some serious issues she needs to deal with if she is sleeping with that many people. Wait a few years and you can have a child and raise a family with someone you love not someone you slept with because you were having a bad day.

 

[KaraBulut]

From a medical standpoint, the story that the girl has given you is highly improbable.

Consider it as such.

 

[CtBoyWonder]

From a little research online. Doing a DNA test before a baby is born is a very
risky procedure. And it is expensive and would not be done unless it was
important to have that DNA, not just a casual I want to know who the daddy is.
This is some info I found.

"the doctor has to see a reason for it other than DNA test. It's called amniocentesis. They use a long needle and take amniotic fluid out of the amniotic sac. There is a chance of miscarriage, that is why they only do it to test for deformities, disabilities, and such. If I were you I would just wait till the baby is here. All they do then is a swab in the mouth"

I would say that since you said you used a condom and this info. I would say the
girl is not telling you the truth. If you want to believe you were that daddy then that
is your decision.

 

[T-Rexx]

From a medical standpoint, the story that the girl has given you is highly improbable.

Consider it as such.

Yup.

This girl's story has big problems.

 

[blogthissucker]

Based on what other people have said about DNA tests, her story does seem kind of suspicious, but there must be SOMETHING behind this story. Presumably she didn't make it up just to put you through a bunch of stress. Perhaps the real story is that there was no "other guy" and she knew you were the father all along, but she invented this other guy so that it would seem more reasonable that she didn't tell you at the time?

 

[wundersteve]

Maybe this comes out of her grief for the 5 year old child. I'm wondering if she even had a miscarriage at all and is actually struggling with death of her daughter/niece.

 

[KaraBulut]

From a little research online. Doing a DNA test before a baby is born is a very
risky procedure...

...and typically done after the 10th week of pregnancy...

..I'm wondering if she even had a miscarriage at all...

..or was ever pregnant...

 

[rareboy]

^This.

Sometimes young people love to have lots of Jerry Springer type drama in their lives and will make up the most fantastic tales.

Next time. Practise safe sex. Why weren't you in the first place.

From the sounds of it, the girl is actually hoping to get pregnant if she's have unprotected intercourse and calling it 'just sex'.

Some serious growing up is called for here.