Girlfriend found my gay porn videos... help?

[febreeze123]

I'm a straight dude (or bi-curious, I guess) who exclusively watches gay porn. I prefer watching 2 men going at it, and often find girls boring in porn.

However, in the real world, I'm always looking at girls and fantasizing about screwing girls.

So I keep my porn watching habits to myself, figuring that it's no ones business what I get off to. Most people would just label me gay without giving me a chance to explain.

Anyways, my girlfriend of 4 years found my collection on my comp... and let's just say it's been a bit shaky. We don't talk about it, but it's hovering over our heads, and it's painful. I know she is probably wanting to leave me thinking I'm gay, but I truly love her and want to be with her. We have an active sex life, and it's all great, but I can't help but feel this may ruin our relationship.

Anyone with any help, please?

 

[innocentbychoice]

I'd say the same...tell her pretty much what you said here.

But keep in mind that she probably won't be as open minded, she'll probably suspect your gay no matter what you tell her. So instead of denying it, just tell her the truth and even make her a part of it (maybe watch gay porn together) which will make her feel special and that you really care for her.

 

[Thrasher12]

My advice?

Be honest, just tell her what you told us. Make sure to let her slap your dumb ass if she wants to (women's perogative). Alternatively you can also say that you were curious a while back but that you are over it and that you simply forgot to delete the porn.

Good luck

 

[Hot4Latinos]

I'm a gay man who watches str8 porn because I think gay porn is boring. That doesn't make me str8.

 

[NSX577]

Like others have said, I think that discussing it will help the situation. Just ignoring is only going to make the matter worse. At least after the discussion, you will know where she stands and be able to act appropriately.

 

[PSCGuy]

You cannot control her reaction at this point. You can only be honest with her.

The heart of the matter is you're either going to keep her or lose her because of this. That's reality. So, you can lose her because she doesn't understand, or you can lose her because she doesn't accept you. Personally, I would go with the later.

Be honest about yourself. You look at gay porn. That's part of who you are. Tell her that you love her and that you didn't want to hurt her and that you don't want to lose her or her trust. After that, the ball is her court.

 

[whatdidyousay]

That's why this board is great. Look at all this spot on advice these men are giving you.

Dude, be honest. Like everyone said. I suggest you don't treat your porn preference as some big deal, or something to be ashamed of. If you come to her like an alcoholic who got caught taking a drink, she'll see it as a big deal, something you're ashamed of and hiding. If you're casual about it, and say that it's just the kind of porn you like, and that you love her and still desire her, and women period, maybe she'll take your lead. It's a little tougher for people to guilt and shame us if we don't think there's anything to be ashamed about.

The only reaction you can control is your own.

 

[AlmondMilk]

Alternatively you can also say that you were curious a while back but that you are over it and that you simply forgot to delete the porn.

Good luck

Eh, I wouldn't say this. Because you're still curious and enjoy gay porn. I doubt you'll resort to just looking at online gay porn sites and erase your history each time. It's a hassle.

I agree that you should be honest with her at this point of the game. I'm hoping she's not hung up on it. Good luck!

 

[MisterMajestic]

She's going to tell her Closest friend and will probably leave. Today the Door is Bust wide-open on men being in the Closet. The average woman's gut instinct is to run when she finds Gay material @ her boyfriends place.

For your sake I hope she understands your explanation when you decide to explain yourself. Right now she is thinking you are Gay and she's wondering why you're with her.

You really need to talk to her like yesterday.....There's not much else to say...

(Just a side note...I worked with a Female co-worker a long time ago that was Married, had a Great sex life and she liked watching Gay porn. Men fucking Men ONLY is what she told me she watched. She was "wild" and didnt care what she said around anybody. Maybe she was looking for a reaction from me but I never gave her one...I don't recall ever asking her if she watched the Gay Porn with her husband but I'm gonna assume he knew about it.)

 

[MatttheBruinsfan]

Something the original poster didn't elaborate on: how did she find the porn? Was it just an accident while doing something legitimate on his computer, or was she spying on him and invading his privacy, then throwing a fit about what she found? If the latter, I'd say smoothing things over and reassuring her might not be top priority; finding something upsetting and worrying about it for a while serves her right.

 

[Frenchie]

Good luck man

 

[chrisw87]

Hey maybe she will just be like my ex and be angry that you have porn itself, not that it is gay porn. Is she homophobic at all? if she isn't homophobic it is completely salvagable, and heck could be used as something to spice up the bedroom time

 

[sumtingwong]

You should explain to her that if she doesn't like it that you like watching 2 dudes doing it, then she should dress up like a dude and allow herself to be taped while doing it with you. That way when you have an urge to see 2 dudes doing it, you can just pop in a tape of you and her (dressed like a dude).