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Giving Best Friend a Foot Massage?

BiBlackMan

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Hi, I feel stupid asking this question, but I'd really like some thoughts and opinions from the guys here. Most of you have so much more experience than I do when it comes to guys, friendships and relationships.

I'm bi/married, 45, black and my best friend is straight/married, 40 and white. He does not know I'm bi or that I'm romantically and sexually attracted to him.

To get to the point, he and I are spending this weekend together just hanging out and relaxing. For the first time in our long history we'll be sharing the same hotel room. While together I would love to give him a nice, long foot massage. I think it would be a nice moment of closeness without necessarily having a gay undertone. I know it sounds pathetic, but knowing he and I will never be sexually intimate I was thinking that giving him a foot massage would at least help me feel more a part of him, with a greater physical (and emotional) connection - more like intimate friendship.

My 3 questions: How can I even suggest to him or bring up the idea of giving him a foot massage. Is it inappropriate for a friend to massage a friends feet? Or, am I just totally fucked in the mind, pathetic and needy, and should just forget the idea and move on with my life??

I appreciate any ideas or insight. Be kind. Thanks everyone.
 
Or, am I just totally fucked in the mind, pathetic and needy, and should just forget the idea and move on with my life??
I agree, forget it and move on. Enjoy the fantasy, and the friendship.
 
It's not appropriate because your motives are wrong.

If you were straight, had no sexual feelings towards your married friend, AND STILL felt like giving him a foot massage? Then yes, it would have been okay to ask.

Please move on and jerk off several times before staying in the hotel with him to help keep your mind in place.
 
Wait for an opening from him. If you come back from some activity and he says something like , man my feet are dog tired, suggest he takes a shower and when his feet are all nice and clean you will give him a foot massage. Take along a small tube of KY Jelly witht he warming formula and massage his feet with that. That is the best thing around for a warming, soothing massage and it can be used for other things as well. ;-) Let things move at his pace and if nothing happens just forget about it and move on to more hetero-type fun.
 
Just think ahead. Will your foot massage proposal end up with the end of your friendship? If so, it is probably best to move along and try not to think of it. It may be sad that you will have unrequited love for him, but if you want to maintain a friendship with him after all these years, best to keep you mouth shut and your hands to yourself.
 
Re: Giving Best Friend a Foot Massage? (Updated)

Well, I'm back from trip and nothing of consequence happened. I didn't offer the foot massage. I had to get through a few times when all he had on was underwear, but it was a serious challenge. I wish I didn't have such deep romantic and sexual feelings for him. Feels like a betrayal of the friendship.

Thanks to everyone who chimed in with advice or perspective.
 
That was a very smart choice to keep a friendship and your relationship for that matter without questions. I've had similar instances where I met fantasies face to face, but talked out the most sensible answer. Usually your instincts will steer you the right way.
 
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