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Giving up control

J

JackFTwist

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therapy

not being rude - it does help and sounds like right now it would do you a world of good and save your relationship

not an insult - we all need it at times
 
First off, If he says he needs do things on his own, let him. Every person needs to be by themselves once in a while. Do you want him to get tired of seeing you or being with you all the time. taking in his space? Give him his space.

For his anger problem, I think he has no right on putting his hands on you. He's not your father and he does not own you. I don't give a damn if he is your boyfriend. "He has no right to hit you"

Why do you let him hit you?:confused:

You should've hit him back.
 
Um, if he's hitting you, there's a serious, serious problem. That definitely needs to be addressed. He should never use anything as an excuse to abuse you.

Secondly, yes, every person needs time to themselves and it appears that you have become obsessive and overbearing to him.

You two need to see someone, specifically you to work out your unrelenting dependency and obsession and the two of you together so you can figure out what to do about the fact that he's hitting you.

This not a healthy relationship at all. In fact, to me, it appears that you would both be much better off and healthier if you broke up.
 
You guys are in such trouble, I don't even know where to begin.

Both of you are in serious need of professional counselling.

I'm afraid if the two of you broke up, you both would only inflict the same emotional terrorism on others, so I'm suggesting you stay together until you can work through some incredibly deep seated and complex mental health problems.

...and by the way, my partner and I have been together almost 24/7 for 25 years, but there was never the issues if one or the other wants to do something on their own.
 
In the space of just one paragraph, you appear to have revealed two major issues. You seem majorly obsessed with your boyfriend, AND he's resorted to physical violence. Both of these are heavy-duty thngs that can't properly addressed on a messageboard. I'll second (or third) the notion that therapy is the way to go. Your relationship seems majorly dysfunctional, and I don't think there's any way to un-dysfunctionalize it without professional help.

Lex
 
i've been in ur situation. don't listen to these people that make it sound like things can't be worked out between u and ur boy. it's really rough, but u gotta try n find other interests to occupy ur time....and i don't mean other guys! i'm talking about a hobby...go out with some friends or play tennis like me, just sumthin to take ur mind off ur bf. also, be sure to start off slowly. try not to spend too much time apart right off the bat....do it gradually. as with ur boy, he needs to tell u what's wrong instead of hitting u. if he can't find a way to work things out without hitting u, there's sumthin wrong and i suggest he get help or else u gotta leave. as hard as it may be, u CANNOT tolerate that kinda abuse. he needs to man up NOW! best of luck man. hope things work out!!!
 
One assumes that urhotnsexy now has a successful longterm healthy relationship with his boyfriend and that he successfully worked out his neurotic obsession and jealousies while his boyfriend managed to correct his tendencies toward physical abuse and now only talks things through instead of hitting him. This would qualify him to suggest that you shouldn't listen to others who suggest that this relatonship is a trainwreck.

as with ur boy, he needs to tell u what's wrong instead of hitting u. if he can't find a way to work things out without hitting u, there's sumthin wrong and i suggest he get help or else u gotta leave. as hard as it may be, u CANNOT tolerate that kinda abuse. he needs to man up NOW!
Click to expand...

Oh, wait a minute....sounds like everyone else's advice....except I think most of us believe you both need some professional help with your problems.
 
You must get out of this awful relationship right now. If he ever hits you again, have him arrested.
 
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