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Going to a bar/club alone:

C

Caeth

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So I look cute tonight and I want to go out...but no one I know around here wants to go out too. So I've decided I'm gonna try going it alone. I know a fair amount of people in the community, but I don't know if anyone I know will be at the club I go to. Also I dunno how awkward it would be to "latch-on" to some group I know...I can sometimes be a great conversationist and other times I can be a little awkward as I try to think of things to say.

Any tips for going out alone? to make it less awkward? I just feel weird just standing there looking at people and wondering who to say hi to and if I should say hi, etc. etc.
 
Let us know what happens.

When I was first coming out, I went to lots of bars/clubs alone--because I wasn't partnered and didn't have any gay friends. I don't particularly mind being alone and going to social things alone has never bothered me, so maybe that's the difference.

At any rate, there was always *someone* I at least *kinda* knew and I'd talk to them for a while. Or, I'd just "stand-and-pose" with a drink in hand and wait for some other lonely soul to come up and chit-chat. It was kind of fun. And, I met a lot of nice and interesting people doing that.

Anyway, let us know how it went for you.
 
It can be fun, but you have to be friendly and outgoing, why I like it sometimes is it forces you to meet new people and mix, rather than standing and talking in your group. Have fun!
 
Go.
Order a drink so you'll have something to do with your hands. :)
Look for friends or acquaintances.
If you don't see any, find other people who appear to be alone.
Remember - nobody at the club WANTS to be alone. :)

Lex
 
averageguy said:
Let us know what happens.

When I was first coming out, I went to lots of bars/clubs alone--because I wasn't partnered and didn't have any gay friends. I don't particularly mind being alone and going to social things alone has never bothered me, so maybe that's the difference.

At any rate, there was always *someone* I at least *kinda* knew and I'd talk to them for a while. Or, I'd just "stand-and-pose" with a drink in hand and wait for some other lonely soul to come up and chit-chat. It was kind of fun. And, I met a lot of nice and interesting people doing that.

Anyway, let us know how it went for you.
Click to expand...

ya i agree go for it you meet some of the Nice's people that way ..| ..|
 
have done it

have not enjoyed it

one time i drank quickly and often - not good

another time - i did not drink - not good

not for me
 
I'd say go to cobalt. Get a drink and just sit and people watch. Somebody will come talk to you. Or go to apex if you want to dance. It's so crowded on thurs that nobody will know you're alone haha.

I've gone it alone. But generally I just sit and drink and people watch. I'm better at having people come up to me in those circumstances than vica versa.

Let us know how it goes.
 
I did this once... long story short... it ended up in a 3some with two asian guys. haha.
 
so yeah it's been a fun night...I'm happy I went. I left kinda early cause I was bored at home...on my way up the escalator into dupont I saw this girl that I knew from the mixer at my school earlier. we ended up chatting at going to apex...practically no one was there yet. turns out "she" was a male-to-female trans and i had *no* idea. it was interesting to hear all her stories, etc. we talked for about an hour until she left.

then i went to cobalt and thankfully saw almost *everybody* i knew. i just hung out with everyone in succession...met some new people....nodded awkwardly to some old hook-ups (lol)...and just in general drank. not too much thankfully- but *just* enough. i didnt feel like getting laid tonight- just going out and chilling...which is what i did.

unfortunately with this liquid courage i messaged a slight crush of mine i saw at the club. hopefully he'll respond positively...if not oh well...i figure ive rejected enough guys that the karma should come back to me hehehehehe.
 
Caeth said:
unfortunately with this liquid courage i messaged a slight crush of mine i saw at the club. hopefully he'll respond positively...if not oh well...i figure ive rejected enough guys that the karma should come back to me hehehehehe.
Click to expand...

Haha, glad you had a good night, but remeber the old adage, Never Drink and Dial!
 
aw sometimes the pot needs to be stirred or it gets too boring =D

its been a really great weekend but unfortunately no action. i'm trying to be more mature about things and i guess that's the result....i'd rather not become desperate and horny and hook up with whoever.

hopefully things will turn out well =) i'm feeling a little anxious tonight about the whole situation (i havent told everything that's happened this weekend)...but i'm trying really really hard not to be obsessive and give it time to see what develops
 
I usually go by myself. I meet my friends everywhere else. It does not have to be a gay bar/club or anything. If I go to a gay place, I go with a purpose... yeah, that purpose.

Having too many other dudes I know around would be both distracting and rather counterproductive. So, my norm is: if I want to meet up with my buddies and friends, I arrange for that and we meet up.

If I go out, I do that on my own and for my own fun.

SC
 
I was in DC last weekend too. Got bored cuz i was waiting for a friend to come home so I went bar hopping since I never been to any in DC. Went to Halo, JRs, Omega, and Cobalt all under an hour. Going by myself was fun, met a lot of interesting people.
 
What's the probelm?

If I'm single I prefer to go to a club or bar alone.. because I know I wouldn't be that way for long... heh not just because of that. Sure sometimes its good to hang with the boiz or girls but there's something great about being solo as well.

Tip look like you are comfortable being by yourself, confidence in yourself is attractive to others. I hate those guys who are looking at every corner of a place and every person just trying to find someone or some group to latch onto.
 
:o

LOl.. reading this thread, i feel like i'm on another planet.

I don't have gay friends, don't care for most of them because we have different interests.. and in terms of friendship, you have to have things in common, no?

so going out to gay bars, well i don't like bars (gay or straight) usually, but the times i've been to bars, i was on my own. It's not a damn tragedy!
lol

Go, get a drink (or not), have fun. Who cares if you're alone or not.

Just be yourself, you'll probably meet new people. But bars, as cool as they sound, are not THE best place to meet potential new mates.. gay or straight :)
 
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