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Going to a gay bar

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p700granat

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I'm thinking of going to a gay bar/club for the first time this weekend, and I would appreciate some input.

What should I expect? What are most people looking for? What do people do there? How to initiate conversations there?

I have never really spent time in a bar / night club, so this is kind of new to me. The closest things I've experienced are dance parties in college. Normally I'd much prefer meeting people in other setting, but gay bars / clubs seems to be the best option to meet lots of other gay guys (I tried a gay hiking group once, but it turned out there's nobody close to my age). It might also help me open up more.

So any advice? Also any good ones you recommend in San Francisco? I'm sure there are a ton, but ones that are particularly "noob friendly"? Non-smoking or have smoke-free zones?

Thanks.
 
Hi p700,

I can't say I really know much about Gay bars in San Francisco as most times I've been there has been for work but I don't think you should really worry about it that much. Though I don't think bars or clubs are the best ways to meet people for dating, it should be a refreshing experience!

I'm sure someone from San Fran can help me out, but there's a bar with a dance floor off of Castro street which has an L shaped parking lot across the road: that place seems like a good start.

Don't drink too much and if you do drink at all, don't drive :)
 
Torsten84 said:
Hi p700,

I can't say I really know much about Gay bars in San Francisco as most times I've been there has been for work but I don't think you should really worry about it that much. Though I don't think bars or clubs are the best ways to meet people for dating, it should be a refreshing experience!

I'm sure someone from San Fran can help me out, but there's a bar with a dance floor off of Castro street which has an L shaped parking lot across the road: that place seems like a good start.

Don't drink too much and if you do drink at all, don't drive :)
Click to expand...

sorry but if it was me, id drink a lot, to enjoy myself :badgrin:
 
OMG at the gay bar its wild, you might get drunk the first night be careful or your butt will be opened the next morning!!!!!! xD
 
p700granat said:
I'm thinking of going to a gay bar/club for the first time this weekend, and I would appreciate some input.

What should I expect? What are most people looking for? What do people do there? How to initiate conversations there?

I have never really spent time in a bar / night club, so this is kind of new to me. The closest things I've experienced are dance parties in college. Normally I'd much prefer meeting people in other setting, but gay bars / clubs seems to be the best option to meet lots of other gay guys (I tried a gay hiking group once, but it turned out there's nobody close to my age). It might also help me open up more.

So any advice? Also any good ones you recommend in San Francisco? I'm sure there are a ton, but ones that are particularly "noob friendly"? Non-smoking or have smoke-free zones?

Thanks.
Click to expand...

Not sure what you should expect. I figure it depends on the gay bar/club.

From my experience though I'd say that you can expect lot's of guys that are drinking and dancing and having fun.
Not sure if you want to meet gay guys for a hookup (for sure you will find them in a gay club)... if you just want to meet gay guys for fun then that's the place.

But it's not likely that you will meet someone for a ltr in a place like that. It may happen but not likely.
Just go and have fun. And dont' be too surprised if you meet someone that you share a name or number with and you won't see him again.

As one person wrote ^... have some fun, have a few drinks.. as long as you have some way to get home safely, just drink and have fun.

Man, mostly its' just a place for guy to drink, dance, share some fun... You won't have to worry about what to talk about.... It takes care of itself.

Just don't figure you will meet your lifetime mate there.
Enjoy youself. And that not all gay clubs/bars are the same. If you don't find the one you are going to vist to your liking then there are many others around that you may find better.

Best to you... Have fun and enjoy yourself.
:D
 
You walk in, you meet the gorgeous man of your dreams, he carries you off to his fairy palace, and you live happily ever after.

Enjoy! ;)
 
Depending on what time you go teh experience will be different. If you go early it might seem boring and almost no one will talk with you. You will get people staring at you from the bar but everyone is doing their own thing. Once the music starts everyone gets on the dancefloor and you can watch or join in. That is when randon people will try to hit on you or try to talk. Usually by then if you go to the bar for a drink I am almost guarentee someone will buy it for you. LOL I also suggest socializing at the smoke area. I don't know if smoking as banned indoors by you but in Chicago it is so everyone has to stand outside and smoke. Usually you meet some cool people and get some numbers. Then they start introducing you to other people they know. I don't know if you will have the same experience but I'm pretty social with others. Just have a good time and you will enjoy it.
 
Thanks for the responses. No I'm not really looking for a hookup, just to meet some people and see how it is like. And I don't drink very much, but that shouldn't matter I hope. My only worry now is getting home, since I'll likely be taking Caltrain which stops running after mid-night. So I'll either leave early, or find somewhere else to stay. I'm not sure if it's a good idea to go and stay with someone from the bar / party. Anyway, I'm going to try it (the Stud Bar?) tonight and hopefully it will be fun.
 
Gay bars vary dramatically by type of bar, location, and hour you go. Most (but not all) are kind of dead until 11 or midnight, and then get going. Others get going earlier--it just depends.

Some are more mellow (like piano bars), some more sports oriented, some cater to an older crowd; some to younger crowds. Some are dancing, some just sitting around and drinking, and some "stand and pose."

Be prepared to see some things that you don't see out on the street, such as a lot of hugging and kissing as a form of greeting. These are places where gay men feel pretty free to be themselves. I remember when I first started going to bars, I found this exotic and erotic at the same time. Now, I don't even notice it.

Anyway, be yourself and, if you see someone who piques your interest, don't be shy--make eye contact, nod, and say hi. There are a lot of guys out and about who are also not looking to hook up (necessarily), but looking to relax, laugh, and have a good time with some other gay people.

Hope you have a good time, and let us know how it goes!
 
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