Growing curiosity. What should I do?!

[WA Boy]

Ok so since joining this forum my curiosity to sleep with another guy has just grown and grown. I have a few friends who are gay and I quite often go to a local gay bar with them just as part of a night out – Here everyone is welcome to gay bars and it is not unusual at all to have straight as well as gay people making out etc, so In some cases the whole group of people I’m heading out with can be straight.

The problem is that when I head out with a couple of gay friends if a guy decides to dance with me they automatically him “he’s straight” and whoever it is just backs right away – And the other problem is if I go out with my straight friends I tend to joke around with other guys but as soon as they go to kiss me or something I have to back away because I’m not openly ‘curious’, or bi or whatever you want to call it. Also when I’m with my gay friends it’s almost as if they don’t want me to be interested in other guys. Once I was told “you can’t be gay, being gay is my thing!” and assuring everyone that I am straight (even if I am dancing with another dude)

It’s so frustrating and I know the logical option would just to ignore what everyone thinks and just tell someone, but at the same time it would be great to just try something with someone first before having to face the music and come out in front of everyone in a club. Oh and if my dad were to find out *shudder* my family are farmers from a rural area as well as part of my family having strong Catholic roots so it wouldn’t go down too well...

Any suggestions without initially having to tell the world? I’m sure this happens all the time haha

 

[sibersan]

Maybe they tell the other guy that u r straight when a guy tries to dance with u is because they're afraid that u will freak out or something. But what I would do, is go to the gay bar when u know non of your gays friends are there

 

[sibersan]

As far as u being worried that your family might find out, go to a different city that has gay bars/club

 

[WA Boy]

^ on the different city approach I live in Perth (one of the most isolated cities on earth) The closest city with a gay bar would be Adelaide (a good 3.5+ hour plane trip away) so I don't think that would be an option. It's ok on that part anyway cos my parents live in another town 200 kilometres away... Going to a bar by myself doesn't sound all that fun tbh. Thanks though

 

[wazza380]

^ on the different city approach I live in Perth (one of the most isolated cities on earth) The closest city with a gay bar would be Adelaide (a good 3.5+ hour plane trip away) so I don't think that would be an option. It's ok on that part anyway cos my parents live in another town 200 kilometres away... Going to a bar by myself doesn't sound all that fun tbh. Thanks though

Im in Adelaide!!!! come for a visit, we can experiment together!!

 

[Lube]

what I would do, is go to the gay bar when u know non of your gays friends are there

Going to a bar by myself doesn't sound all that fun tbh. Thanks though

Well those are pretty much your two options: go without your friends, or tell your friends.

Depending on your personality, you can be serious and up-front and tell them before you head out to the bar. Or, when you're at the bar and a guy approaches you and they're about to say you're straight, you lightheartedly announce that this guy is cute enough to go gay for.

 

[KaraBulut]

For the most part, your friends are just trying to protect you from unwanted advances.

You can stop it by just saying, "No, guys I'm cool if a guy wants to kiss me or hit on me". Or just simply, "I'm curious, so it's okay."

You're not giving your friends a chance to accept you. If they're hanging out in gay bars, chances are that they aren't going to be that shocked.

As you get further and further into this, eventually you're going to have to put a name to this with your group of friends- whether than name is "gay", "bi" or "straight/curious".