Grrr ... Str8 Friends drive me crazy!

[alley]

Nope---he asked for it-- I assume he knows you are gay--if he had a girl do that to him and he was interested, he would do the same thing. Sounds like he is jerking you around. You are not the one who needs to apologize

 

[probeteam1]

Ok, so I have this straight friend and once again he has started playing games. The other night I came home and when I got on-line to check my e-mails, he sent me a message. Following the usual questions/answers, he said he wanted to show me something on his webcam (he usually shows me his new guitar, drums, or something musical), so I said ok. When he turned on his webcam, he was naked and hard and asked me what I would do with this penis. I was shocked, so I jokingly said, I would do a lot and he would like it. My friend was laughing and nothing seemed to happen. However since that night, he has avoided me and has not returned my e-mails or messages. Did I do something wrong and do I need to apologize?

Assuming that's all you said, I doubt it. When he's showing you his erection and soliciting a comment, it's hard to imagine much that you could say that would make it your fault.

That being said, he might just be feeling awkward over the experience. Once the amusement (and horniness, unless he's able to get and maintain an erection with no excitement whatsoever) wore off, he might be having second thoughts about it. I'm guessing that maybe he was expecting a different raction from you, or that when it was done he felt differently about it than he thought he would.

I think you and he need to have a talk.
If this is the end of your friendship, then he at least needs to remember it's his issue and not yours. And you need to remember that as well.
If you are going to remain friends, then you need to come to some agreements. For example, you might both agree to never speak of that night again, or at least that it won't happen again (or you might agree that it will happen again, minus his apparent post-show freakout ).

He might need reassurance that this doesn't make him gay, or at least that being a little queer from time to time isn't so bad.
At the very least, one of you needs to set some boundaries: Either it's not okay for him to show you his boner and ask provocative questions, or it is okay for you to answer them. Or if it's not okay for you to answer, then he needs to make that clear to you.

So, short answer: No, you don't need to apologize unless he's just so screwed up that he's convinced it's your fault, and despite that you still want to maintain a friendship with him.
Otherwise, I think it's just something he needs to deal with.

 

[tccia1]

I would go for broke.. the next time you hang out with him ask "wasnt there somthing you wanted me to play with" see where it goes from there.. as for if you did anything wrong, not that i can see.. he probably is just embarresed now that he had done that, but make the most of it becuase he must have at least considered it if he showed you that.

 

[Just_Believe18]

I agree with the more mature advice above.

You did nothing wrong. This is his issue to work out and I hope he has the sense to value your friendship and get over himself.

 

[Horschallen]

Not your fault at all. Even if what you said was contrary to your actual response, he is going to feel horrible and hate you for it anyway. So, nothing you say would make him feel any better.

 

[TJBill]

No, you did nothing wrong. No, you shouldn't apologize.

It sounds like you guys were just joking around. Your friend needs to relax. Not a big deal...

 

[probeteam1]

If he keeps pulling this shit after the first time, then it's definitely not your fault.

The more you describe his behavior, the more I think that he might not even be consciously playing games here. It really seems to me that he's getting bold and making some kind of move or joke, and then feels embarrassed and awkward about it afterwards. Maybe he's not so much ignoring you, as it is that after all but offering you his hard cock for your pleasure, he's having trouble looking you in the face?

But maybe I give him too much credit. I have known straight men to flirt with gay guys for their own purposes (and even admit as much to me). Although most of those guys would've stopped short of the naked webcam.

Have you asked him if he tinks you've done anything wrong? Once you're on speaking terms again, perhaps you should ask. While I personally don't think you should have to apologize, he's really the only person who can tell you how he feels about it.

 

[Eternaldarkness]

maybe he was and still curious..but after that was embarrassed about the whole incident or too afraid to take the next step.

Does he know you are gay before that?

If he doesn't know that you're gay, then he was probably shocked, mistaken your jokingly replies as something else and is afraid that you're going to pursue into it...since he did actually gave you an open invitation (even though for fun). He's just afraid you're going to hiton him.

What you need to do is not do any apologize or explaining at all. Act like nothing happen. Forget about the whole incident. The more you try to explain or find him, the more he thinks you want him.