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Gym talk

  • Thread starter Thread starter Marvels
  • Start date Start date
M

Marvels

Guest
How?

Okay, so I just kind of decided to start moving on after 5 years (no, really) of moping about this guy who I love who doesn't love me back. Uber- drama, long story, which involves him being straight and me being stupid.

And cut to the now - - there's this guy at gym who always seems to stare at me (only from a distance and only if I return the gesture and, well, we stare at each other for an awkward five or so seconds)

So, reality bytes, keep me grounded here people. Why could he possibly be staring at me for any non-sexual reason? I really need to know so I don't go and make a fool of myself by asking him to ask me out on a date.

Oh, and should I totally ignore the possible reasons you all give, what do I say to him that won't make me sound like a total perv if I start a conversation?


Salamat

Happy New year people!
 
If he's looking back at you there must be some interest

Rather than immediately asking him for a date how about simply striking up a conversation? Since you're in a gym there is obviously something in common to discuss. If he responds to your gesture take it from there
 
He could stare at you because he could be a gay-hating homophobe straight guy with issues, suspect you are gay and be plotting to attack you. Or, he could be totally charmed by you and is waiting for you to make the first move. The only way to find out is to strike a friendship first. Ask him to spot you or a question about working out and take things from there. Get to know him. You might be pleasantly (or unpleasantly) surprised.
 
Thanks dudes. A friend of mine said to get him into a convo then ask if he's there to impress a girl. Him saying yes should make me back off for about a mile.

Oh, I want to rant. Can I rant? I want to rant. Mixed signals are stupid. They make you panic and they clutter your judgement and they make you stupid. And your friends ask you why you can't move on but you can't move on because moving entails there's nothing really there when there actually is something there but everyone's ignoring it and telling you to move on but how can you when everyone knows that there's something there but no one wants to talk about what's there!? Five years of flurtive glances and sideways stares and that is not a nothing that is a something!!! God!!!

Okay, sorry for weirding everyone out. I am so moving on. Right now. This very second. Moving on.

Anyway, aside from gym guy possibly being a homophobe and secretly plotting to kill me (thanks Jetson), what other possible hetero reasons can a guy have for staring at another dude who he doesn't know while working out in gym?
 
I'd also start an informal conversation, all in order to check the vibe.

Yeah, it's a gym and the dude is probably cool. All is fine.

Moving on, really means getting your act str8 (no pun intended).

For all your reciprocal stares, you ought to be getting something of a more fulfilled personal life: like in meeting up with other guys and possibly dating. So, you do not want to repeat the errors of the past (secretly hoping that the plan may work out this time). Hope is not a plan. Period.

Do not waste any of your time. Get going and meet up with other guys. Reciprocal stares in your gym are not binding in any way, are they?

Do not act as if you already were in a committed LTR with the staring dude. Do as if he was just one of your options.

Like you said: Move on...

SC
 
I know those stares and I know how you feel regarding not knowing what he is either way. Trust your gut, and see how he reacts when you approach him. You will only be able to tell through conversation whether he is interested or not.
 
Marvels said:
Five years of flurtive glances and sideways stares and that is not a nothing that is a something!!! God!!!

Okay, sorry for weirding everyone out. I am so moving on. Right now. This very second. Moving on.
Click to expand...

It's ok...we understand(*8*) :kiss:
 
the mixed signals are the way of the world, and no one is sure that first time. a conversation is a good idea. it can lead to other avenues - or, you could find out you would not want to waste one second with him afterwards. we all are up to be batted down - think i said that right - when we iniciate.
ding
 
Thanks y'all. It's just, well, I don't want Mr. Gym Guy to be Mr. Poor Substitute for my Mr. Five-Year-Love-Obsession. 'Cuz that'd only end up hurting him and totally scarring my rep.

Silver is awesome for going all sensei.
 
aside from what others said,

he could be staring at your [weightlifting]form.. maybe you're doing it wrong and making an ass outa yourself? haha i'm just messing..

but if the starring continues after you both make eye contact.. if i were you i'd go in for the kill (conversation)
 
Even if Mr. Gym Guy turns out to be a poor substitute, he will be a start in finding Mr. Right. Of course Mr. Gym Guy could be Mr. Right. You won't know until you begin exploring. I think you should start a conversation with Gym Guy and see where it leads.
 
You see, I was right. You won't know what he's up to until you begin an acquaintance, albeit not by starting the conversation by pointing out that you like the loganberry hues in his J Crew gym shorts and that you love that color. Ask him for a spot or to work in with him on one of his routines. It's the best way to start a friendship at the gym.
 
If you live in your head as much as you appear to I canunderstand the five years. It's not all about you - probably about 0.5 % is.

- He's not wearing his glasses because he thinks they make him look nerdy.

- Your form is really bad and he's wondering if he should tell you before you hurt yourself.

- Your form is really good and he's watching you to check how to lift correctly, hoping for some advice

- You knew him in the past, he's transformed himself so that you don't recognise him but he recognises you and is wondering why you're ignoring him.

- There's a mirror behind you and you're blocking his reflection.

- he has a wall eye

- You're his motivation - either to become , or to avoid ever becoming, like you

- If you know he's looking at you then you must be looking at him too
 
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