Happiness In Loneliness

[thepinacoladawolf]

Happiness In Loneliness

Essentially, I don't know how to explain it. I've come to realize, I'm actually content with not having anyone. I go throughout the day thinking about music, movies, photography, so on and so forth, but never about having someone. I've detached myself from my room mate, which is a good thing, but I feel as though I've detached myself from 'want' of another person, or a loved one. Hell, I literally feel as though I don't belong with anyone. I mean, I've always had that sense of 'belonging' but that doesn't even connect to the sense of needing a love in life.

I know people accuse me of being narcissistic but can they blame me after all the shit I've dealt with? I wouldn't really call it narcissism anyway. I just prefer my own company over someone else's because of the way they act, as if I'm a burden in their lives, and when they do things they only do it to shut me up, instead of doing it for the sake of friendship.

I won't say that "I love me" or that "Only I know what I want" or "Only I know how to treat myself", but I might as well imply it. I'm completely content with me being me for myself, not for anyone else, and the need for another body for sexual gratification has diminished greatly. I won't say that my most intense sexual experiences have been by my own hand, but it's just a lack of a social life that hasn't given me something better than my own damn hand and a bottle of KY.

In any case, I won't call it narcissism. I am living by myself as far as I am concerned. My room mate doesn't matter to me anymore.

 

[BrandonSBCA]

I understand the burden thing, I don't have friends that tell me I'm a burden, it's just that I get that feeling that I might be a burden to them so I just try to keep my distance. But it's hard for me to be alone sometimes.

 

[nufanm]

i sort of get u. i am in a similar boat... granted i might sound like a hypocrit because i have a boyfriend but... he's the first, and perhaps the last (either because we break up and i never date again, or because i stay with him for the rest of my life)... but i can recall a time almost 2 years ago, before i met him, when i was single and loved everysecond of it. i excell at being by myself, it is when i'm the best... and i can be with people, but if u ask me, the perfect world would be one where i don't have to have any sort of contact with people other than casual contact (i.e. small talk with the person at the register at the supermarket)... so... yeah... i don't know, i love being by myself and doing everything by myself...

don't get me wrong, i love my bf and i feel like... if i wasn't with him i'd be single for ever because i am a very particular person and so is he and i don't think i would put up with anyone else's shit and i don't think anyone would put up with my shit either...

so yeah...

that's my two cents anyway.

 

[spreadeagle]

Congratulations, Wolf - it sounds ideal.

 

[luminum]

Yeah, I also feel like maybe I'm better suited to be by myself. Sometimes I think about how I act and wonder if I'd really be able to accomodate someone else like I'd need to. My best friend said that he wants to take a break from dating and my housemate said that she wonders if she ust has more fun being single. And I think I've gotten over wanting someone...or at least it's no where near how I used to be.

I wouldn't mind it, but right now, being single, I'm okay.

 

[backseatboy]

I feel the same way. Glad to see I'm not alone.

 

[xterranx]

Wow, I always thought I was just some crazy anti-social, psychopathical person incapable of dating (in other words, too picky). It's nice to know that I'm not the only one who feels the exact same way.

 

[thepinacoladawolf]

I hope that wasn't sarcasm.

 

[drhladnjak]

Ideally, everybody should be comfortable just being with themselves. Too many guys (and girls) make poor decisions out of desperation to simply have a boy- or girlfriend out of fear of loneliness. Keep your eyes open though. You may one day stumble across somebody who really does fit and at least then you'll know you want to be with them (in whatever capacity) for all the right reasons.

 

[sebastian-k]

Wow, I always thought I was just some crazy anti-social, psychopathical person incapable of dating (in other words, too picky). It's nice to know that I'm not the only one who feels the exact same way.

ummm... that sounds familiar

 

[Adam2299]

I think people matter to you more than you're letting on.

 

[xterranx]

I hope that wasn't sarcasm.

No, I really do mean it. XD; Although I probably shouldn't have said psychopath...especially considering this is the Internet.

ummm... that sounds familiar

...orly.

 

[yuty]

No one is happy when they're alone all the time.

Social anxiety or avoidant personality disorders often convince people that they are better off alone and happy that way.

Everyone needs a moment of privacy...but to be completely alone all the time?

Nope, you're unhappy and you don't know it.

 

[BiGuy8705]

I was completely satisfied being alone up until this year because it's all I'd ever known... but after meeting my bf I don't think I could ever go back to being alone again. It is rough because he lives 2 hrs away and I only see him on the weekends, but I like him so much...