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Hard Working Boys Fun

I was serious! Do you know how hard he'd get if you tickled him with a feather? Then I'd slap his cock a few times back and forth between my palms, ask him how it felt then smack it a few more times.
 
Hmm it should definitely continue. They are still working, so maybe I suggest in the next chapter they try and get back to their work, but at the same time checking each other out occasionally. Build up the anticipation to the point that they (and us too) are really turned on. Then maybe later in the evening, or another day...let your imagination take the story.

Great start so far I would love to keep reading on :).
 
Nice start, and rain definitely has the answer. Don't skip over the descriptions of their bodies, either. Paint a picture for us.

I look forward to reading more.
 
THD,
Welcome to JUB and the Story Board! A very nice first chapter.
I like the suggestions you're getting, and you've already demonstrated that you have a pretty good imagination (or real life, as the case may be!), yourself, so go for it!
 
THD,
"IT shall be better . . ."
It's plenty good as is!
You are developing this story/relationship quite nicely.
Thanks for all your efforts.
You're doing GREAT!
 
Like Don Q. said, you're doing great. Keep it up. You did a nice job getting descriptive in there...that lets the reader really see what's going on.
 
That was really good you are impressive :). My suggestion would be to take your time. Continue to write like that, then go through it again searching for typos, and trying to make things connect and flow.

Believe me soon enough you're gonna have lots of cum flowing on here... :). Really good job.
 
That-hot-dude is slacking off. Probably just needs a couple good swats with a ping pong paddle to get the juices flowing again.
I'll volunteer to do it -- someone's gotta step up. I'll blister is bare ass!
 
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