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Has anyone ever been asked if the reason you are gay is that you were sexually abused???

L

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I mentioned in another thread that I came out to my dad last week and he asked me yesterday why I chose this, or decided to be this way. He then asked if I wanted therapy and I told him what I have always heard....if youre gay, your gay. You cant make a straight person gay with talk therapy....you can't Pray the gay away....it just doesnt work..Ive seen 20/20, dateline, PrimeTimeLive, 60 min. all the shows that have talked on the subject and it just doesnt work. Am I wrong??? He then said, had I been sexually abused as a child and thats what made me gay? In my opinion, thats just wrong. I have never been abused, nor ever made any allegations of the sort, so what the hell?? I cant drill it home enough. I did not choose to be gay. But I chose to come out to him because he suspected anyway and it was consuming his life 100% as it was my moms. Her comments and use of the word queer every time i was around to describe something she didnt like etc. pushed me away. THats one reason I dont go home anymore and I live 10 min away. I feel judged and unwelcome, and uncomfortable. The reason i came out was because I had nothing to lose, they knew, suspected, commented and now that they know for a fact I hope that homophobe shit stops and we can rebuild our relationship. If not, we had a bad one anyway and atleast i can begin to accept myself after hiding for over 20 years!
 
I think it's a rather common question. I've been asked.

I'm sorry that things haven't gone smoothly for you. Have you given them PFLAG's website? They've got some learning to do. I hope it gets better for you with them. Your honesty ought to help. Best wishes.
 
One gay guy that I had talked to admitted that he had been sexually abused as a child, and He asked if I had too when he found out that I was gay.

My parents had also asked whether I had been sexually abused when I had come out. They asked more in concern than anything. I also explained that I think that abuse can sometimes confuse someone in my opinion but that it can't make anyone truly gay.
 
When I get asked why are you gay I ask them why the F are you straight .
 
I have been asked that and not just by straight people.
 
Benn asked that as well.
 
It is an all too common misconception, regardless of origin: cultural, religious, scientific, societal, et al. People feel compelled to seek a point of origin (i.e. "what prompted you to be so artistic, athletic, studious, etc.) believing that there is an impetus for everything. Why are some people left-handed? Why do I have an autistic cousin, when his mom did everything right?
 
I do believe that sometimes being sexually abused can lead to one being gay. As a young child (i guess age 5-11) I was first introduced to sexual activities by a boy who was about 2 years older than me. We got in trouble time and time again by our parents about unacceptable sexual things we did. This is something that has always haunted me considering we see each other everyday and he's like family. I also got into the same kind of trouble alongside my father's girlfriend's daughter. I was also told by my two cousins that only real men gave blowjobs to other men which in turn led to us sucking each other this happened on two separate occasions. (don't judge me) I don't believe that being sexually abused is a forthright cause of being gay however i do believe that being introduced to sexual activity with another guy at a young age can increase the chances of someone being gay. I believe, if it does happen, that the thought of "being with a guy is what is right" is something that gets programmed into a child's head . After all brain development decreases with age and at young ages it is at a delicate stage. With all of that being said don't take offense to it man because it does, sometimes, happen that way.
 
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