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He hung up on me this morning

M

MorrisseyX

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My sister says just "move on" when I told her this morning that my ex boyfriend hanged up on me this morning. I am "moving on"

Now I kind of regret calling him "Friday night" and I left a brief phone message.

But I admit I was curious about what he was up to. And now I know he basically

is still "very angry" at me and he was just "waiting for me" to call.

I just think hanging up on someone you have known for seven years is a very egregious thing to do. I would never do that to someone.

Yes I admit I broke the no contact rule Friday night. I can't turn back time so there is no point in debating it. The last time we "talked" to each other was in June.

I did not know he "hates me" but it seems like he does. I have had someone

"hate me" before.

I will explain the situation, so basically I have known this guy for seven years.

Last year we got sexually involved and started dating but it did not work out.
For a couple of months I tried the whole "let's be friends" thing because that's what he wanted.

In the Spring/Summer of 2009 I just started to notice my feelings for him were surfacing again.

In late June 2009 he called on evening and I said "I don't think I can be your friend. I think I want to move on with my life."

Maybe I should of said "I need some space".

He says "this sounds permanent".

I didn't answer I did not know what to say.

He says "I can give you space if that's what you want?"

I said "I am sick of the arguing and the fighting. I don't want to fight anymore."

He said "I can't believe you are doing this. I don't know what to say to you?"

I just felt like things were becoming toxic between us. When I saw him in June we fought the entire night and I was just getting sick of the fighting.

He hung up on me in June and I didn't call him until Friday night. I left a phone message. The message yes I will admit what I said in the message.
Anyway, I said "I miss you" in the message but no response.

So Sunday night/Monday morning I decide to call the phone rings perhaps twice and then it disconnects so I know he hanged up on me.

I guess he was just "waiting" for me to "contact him" to "hang up on me".

I think it will be easier this time around.When I think about it we haven't been a part of each other's lives since June 2009 so we haven't talked in about three months.

Things are going well in my life I am making solid changes. I have returned

to school and although I have a degree I am back in university.

I just found out yesterday some poems I wrote got published.

Also, I went to see a film at a festival with a female friend on Saturday

night and I had a good time.

I know the world has not "ended", the sky has not "fallen", and the

all that.

Do I miss him. Of course I do. I now realize that he sent the message

he wanted to send he is obviously very angry still about June and I will

just continue to move on with my life and leave him alone.

I deserve better, and I deserve happiness. I believe this is a learning

experience and I don't think I am the bad guy here or that I am the only

one at fault. We are both at fault here.

I lost a very good friend but I know I will survive this of course.

I guess I am just venting.

But I do feel better writing out my feelings.
 
I don't think he's been sitting around waiting for you to call just so he could hang up on you. You say yourself you called Sunday night/Monday morning. Late, in other words. If I got a call from an ex that late - particularly one who said "I need space" three months ago - I wouldn't feel the need to take that call. Especially if I was trying to sleep, or busy, or what have you. I'd probably think something along the lines of "I don't need this right now".

But whatever it is, he's sent you a clear message. You've told him "I miss you". He didn't respond. This is his way of saying "I don't miss you". Or, more accurately, "I don't miss 'us'." Accept it. Move on.

Lex
 
You ask and got what you wanted. More space. You calling back to see what he was up to is clearly you are not over him. But the way this all came down he gave you what you wanted.

So it's clear he is done and over with you. So to late for that unless things change. So quit bugging him... and move on..
 
I feel for you.

As you describe the situation last spring, it sounded like you did need some space, but didn't know how to express it. He misconstrued your silence as hatred, when it was more confusion. He hung up on you apparently because he thought you didn't want contact (as a friend) any more.

If you did need some space/time, 3 months should've been plenty.

However, it sounds like you are not over him as a lover. He wants (wanted) to be friends, but it seems like you can't deal with it.

I guess this is a very convoluted way of saying I empathize with you, but the 2 posters above nailed it pretty well. (*8*)
 
Lube and Lex I think your comments are accurate and make a lot of sense. It's true I can't just deal with being his friend. In a way when he hanged up on me this was maybe what I needed to find out for sure.


There is no more need to "debate" or to think about this anymore. Yes it's time to completely move on. I got the message loud and clear when he hanged up on me I got it. He will never hear from me again. And I understand more and will learn from this experience.

I guess he thought when I said I needed space that he thought I hated him or something. Well it's not the end of the world and I am moving on and life goes on. Thanks for your comments.
 
My ex couldn't end a conversation (we agreed to be friends) with how much he still wanted to be with me. We argued about it, ugh and after bringing me to tears I finally cut him loose years ago. He STILL texts me. I cannot escape it.

I'm glad you moved on for yourself. You don't want to be like my ex who can't move on after years and years.
 
>>>He STILL texts me. I cannot escape it.

You could block the number. You know, if you want to.

Lex
 
I do want a relationship with him and NOT a friendship that's why him and I can't be friends. Maybe I should of explained myself better to him and communicated my feelings better. But even though I've known this man for seven years a friendship is NOT what I want. So I realize now I've got to look elsewhere with somebody else. I basically told him this in June and he freaked out on me and hung up on me.

I can't wait forever, I can't wait for him. He's not giving me what I "need" and what I "want" so I got to find someone else that "will".
 
G-Lexington said:
>>>He STILL texts me. I cannot escape it.

You could block the number. You know, if you want to.

Lex
Click to expand...

he messages me everywhere, AIM, facebook, twitter, and they all go to my phone. I've been slowly closing up shop on everything.

c'mon lex who do you take me for, it's not as simple as blocking 1 number. He even called me at work! and for a little bit, he said he contacted the police because he has reason to believe that I've been prank messaging him on AIM and pranking his home number. I told him to have the police contact me directly because I have copies of the e-mails he sends me and that was the last time I've talked talked to him on the phone years ago.
 
MorrisseyX said:
I do want a relationship with him and NOT a friendship that's why him and I can't be friends. Maybe I should of explained myself better to him and communicated my feelings better. But even though I've known this man for seven years a friendship is NOT what I want. So I realize now I've got to look elsewhere with somebody else. I basically told him this in June and he freaked out on me and hung up on me.

I can't wait forever, I can't wait for him. He's not giving me what I "need" and what I "want" so I got to find someone else that "will".
Click to expand...

Ok you're so confusing :D you said you want some space, and it's because you want him to be your bf :confused::confused::confused:
If I were him, had gotten those messages and signal would make me go crazy. And it's been lasting for several months. He might think about it a LOT and then he's tired and gave up... idk, you made things very blurring
 
>>>c'mon lex who do you take me for,

Someone who is being texted by somebody he broke up with "years ago", but is still "slowly closing up shop".

>>>I can't wait forever, I can't wait for him. He's not giving me what I "need" and what I "want" so I got to find someone else that "will".

And what are YOU offering? I ask because I see a lot of information about your wants and needs - you needed space, you want to move on, you want to know what he's up to, you weren't getting what you wanted or nedded - but I don't see much about his wants and his needs. And in any relationship, they're just as important.

Lex
 
For most of the seven years I was "friend" and I was always there for him when he was having problems with his family. I was there for him whenever he needed someone to talk to. I just feel that once we got involved last year everything changed and I can't go back from being his boyfriend to being just his "friend". He has a lot of friends anyway he certainly doesn't need me anymore.
 
G-Lexington said:
>>>c'mon lex who do you take me for,

Someone who is being texted by somebody he broke up with "years ago", but is still "slowly closing up shop".
Click to expand...

Again, not thinking. I opened up shop way AFTER I broke up. I can't close up shop that hasn't even started yet.

Let me give you examples so you can understand. I'll use a made up username.

I established spencer.com back in the 90's. So after my ex and I broke up, I started my myspace.com/spencer we were still friends until he wouldn't leave me alone with the we need to get back together. so I had to drop him as a friend and my my profile private. Then months after myspace ended he found me on facebook by my last name and contacted me on there. Again I had to make that private. Months after that I started tweeting on twitter.com/spencer and then he would tweet me on there. So just last month I made that private and took out anyone I didn't know who was following me. So you see how I'm SLOWLY closing up shop now?

What gives Lex, are you implying that I'm doing things right? Why are you so convinced that you know. I went from being in tears with this guy even a year after breaking up to never talking to him again. Never answering back a single communication with him. So just lay off, our thread hiijack is over.
 
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