He looks like a greek god, i dont

[530stud]

I have recently become obsessed with the sweetest guy on earth. Recently he has expressed to me that hes intersted but scared. So we are working on taking it slow.

But the big thing, hes beyond fit. I think hes perfect. 6'2" 205 pounds NO FAT blonde hair blue eyes square chin very masculine. Everyone notices him and flirts with him. Every girl at work is in line. But i dont care, in all honesty thats not why i like him. I just love his personality. And hes not shallow, that stuff hardly matters to him. Im not bad. Im 6'1" 240 pounds, drk blnd gray eyes. I am a bit heavy but i have only a 34" waste and some decent muscle tone, very broad shoulders,pretty solid. Id like to get to about 215. But i cant help feel insecure sometimes. Especially since theres distance between us. I get jealous and anxious when i see women flirt with him. Or when i see pictures of him with his college team, all those muscular guys with out their shirts. But I completely trust him. Still, the feelings there. Im trying pretty hard to get fit, for me as much as for him. Somedays, like earlier, it gets a bit overwhelming. Most of the time i float around on cloud nine. What have you guys done in situations to curb jealous anxious feelings, especially when you know theres no basis? Im probably just looking for you to reverberate back to me what i already said, but it helps to just get it off my chest.

 

[silverbelt]

It's completely normal to be like this, but many people don't realise this applies to more than just looks: "I'm an arts student and he's studying medicine!". The way I see it is your conscience is saying, "but how can he like me if I don't look as good as him?" As you get closer, jealousy and insecurity will fade and in its place will be appreciation. If his physique encourages you to workout more, then great. I'm betting he'll be thinking something similar about one of your strengths.

As for the anxiety around other people flirting with him... well, if you two become an item that's the stuff that kinda makes you smile in an "I have him and you don't" kinda way. If he's interested in you, then go for it and enjoy! Don't let anxiety get in the way, it's totally not worth it.

 

[Seasoned]

The best thing to do is to hone in on that part of your personality that makes you a good catch. He's just as lucky to have found you as you are to have found him. If relationships were built on looks alone there'd be no such thing as a Hollywood divorce. Relationships are based on communication. Good luck to you.

 

[paatreides]

Jealousy is the killer of relationships - especially in the early stages. You need to stop obsessing over other people (men and women) who look at him.

You say he's "interested but scared" - if you express your [admitted] obsession and/or your jealous feelings you will most likely scare him off real quick.

Take it nice and slow...

 

[Rolyo85]

What is he scared of?

 

[530stud]

Awe thanks guys, i feel better already. Ive noticed what you say about him noticing my strengths. Things i am proud of, he will point out and question me on. Like how i do this or that, i can tell i encourage him in ways like he encourages me.

hes scared because hes on a college wrestling team, and on a pretty hefty scholarship. He doesnt want people finding ouot and getting the wrong idea why he joined the sport, or worse, to lose his scholarship. Im so proud of what he has aciomplished, it would kill him and probably me even more so, fo rhim to come so far and lose the financial backing that makes his education possible. Hes also scared because he comes from a Catholic conservative family, but he has the most amazing parents in the world. The kind of parents everyone dreams of, who support him no matter what. i think eventually they would be more than accepting, they are a very warm bunch of people. But if his teammates or coach found out now, i dont know what would happen. So i agree with him, quiet for now. I dont care, just as long as i get to talk to him. Physical stuff doesnt even matter with him, i could care less. And as a very sexual person by nature, that says a ton to me. Especially given his amazing physique.

Other people dont matter to me, its the thought that he could have whatever he wants. Thats what makes me feel insecure. But its my problem, not his. I just hope we can get to a point soon where i know exactly how he feels, FOR SURE, if i knew he felt as strongly as me, i wouldnt even give it a second thought. But right not, its like im competing with all these poeple for his affection and it can be scary

 

[ben9651]

Oh man , this doesnt sound good.
Umm, feels like ur stuck between wanting to tell him that u dig him so bad but then not wanting to freak him out And a bit scared of him ditching you and finding some hot college boy.

my advice would be not to invest too much energy in this "relationship" although it seems like ur already head over heals for this guy.

 

[Rolyo85]

Well, you're not gonna get much as long as he's freaked about people finding out he's gay.

I recently realized that straight guys feel super comfortable around me, and not threatened even though I make sure they know I'm gay from the get go. You know why? Cause I broadcast. I talk freely about sex ALL the time, and people just get comfortable, seeing I'm all on the surface and not hiding anything.

Being all secretive and private about being gay only makes people distrustful. Whenever someone senses you're keeping something, they assume you're keeping it from THEM personally.

 

[530stud]

Well, you're not gonna get much as long as he's freaked about people finding out he's gay.

I recently realized that straight guys feel super comfortable around me, and not threatened even though I make sure they know I'm gay from the get go. You know why? Cause I broadcast. I talk freely about sex ALL the time, and people just get comfortable, seeing I'm all on the surface and not hiding anything.

Being all secretive and private about being gay only makes people distrustful. Whenever someone senses you're keeping something, they assume you're keeping it from THEM personally.

You're right about a lot. Im the same way, i make sure people know right away. I hang out with the straightest of the straight guys. Manly men, and they're all completely comfortable with me because i don't hide anything from them. Also, i don't broadcast it exactly, i mean people i hang out with know, but i don't make it a point to shove it down people's throats, or make everything about my sexuality. I just share what views i have when appropriate. And its easier now to be close to people than it was when i didn't tell anyone.

People really do pick up when you are hiding something from them.

 

[530stud]

Oh man , this doesnt sound good.
Umm, feels like ur stuck between wanting to tell him that u dig him so bad but then not wanting to freak him out And a bit scared of him ditching you and finding some hot college boy.

my advice would be not to invest too much energy in this "relationship" although it seems like ur already head over heals for this guy.

Thanks for your opinion. I agree, im not investing too much into it until i know exactly where we are headed. I have strong feelings for him, but i have my barriers set up, and my exit strategy, i always keep all options and outcomes in mind. Im a realist, and i like to think im level headed. Fools rush in right?

 

[Robbert]

I agree with many people since you love each other its not about the looks. I've been very obsessed with my body too but its not worth it to worry about someone else's. it appears he loves you and if you think he might dump you because of your body and your really desperate you should do workouts

Greets Robbert

 

[Kabluey]

Oh man , this doesnt sound good.
Umm, feels like ur stuck between wanting to tell him that u dig him so bad but then not wanting to freak him out And a bit scared of him ditching you and finding some hot college boy.

my advice would be not to invest too much energy in this "relationship" although it seems like ur already head over heals for this guy.

Enough with the doom. The guy's got a crush.

He's not going to know how this pans out until he acts on it and gets to know the guy.

And planning an exit strategy at this stage? Defeatist.

 

[addams13]

you could build a relationship by asking him to help you get in to shape

i'm not saying you need to get in shape

thats just what i would do

 

[530stud]

I agree with many people since you love each other its not about the looks. I've been very obsessed with my body too but its not worth it to worry about someone else's. it appears he loves you and if you think he might dump you because of your body and your really desperate you should do workouts

Greets Robbert

Awe thank you. This whole thing isn't about how he feels. I trust him. I wouldnt ever worry about him, its my feeling inadequate. hes the sweetest guy. Even now, when we go out, its like im the only person in the room in his eyes. Im not affraid of him dumping me because of my looks, hes not shallow in any way, especially like that.
I do workout. I have always been active and worked out, but ive also always been chubby. Since before i met him, about July-ish, i got serious about health in general, not just to look good. I work out 6 times a week and jog 3-5 times a week. Since Late July i have lost 52 pounds! For my benefit, and my own goals and confidence. If it benefits him, or anyone in the future, great. If my body is a make it or break it, then theyre not worth it anyway.

Enough with the doom. The guy's got a crush.

He's not going to know how this pans out until he acts on it and gets to know the guy.

And planning an exit strategy at this stage? Defeatist.

I just have my defenses in case of a what if scenario. If im not careful i can totally get crushed, im emotional. So im just looking out for myself, does that make sense?

you could build a relationship by asking him to help you get in to shape

i'm not saying you need to get in shape

thats just what i would do

Haha, we already talk about fitness and work outs and stuff. I couldnt ever be in the same room as him while working out, it would clearly demonstrate our differences. Im actually stronger than him, but he looks like a GQ model or something lol. No fat. Veins everywhere

 

[Kabluey]

I just have my defenses in case of a what if scenario. If im not careful i can totally get crushed, im emotional. So im just looking out for myself, does that make sense?

Yeah - I get what you mean man. Just don't set yourself up for defeat - that can become a self-fulfilling prophecy if you're not careful. Be brave