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He won't tell his family.

  • Thread starter Thread starter sawr0004
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sawr0004

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So my guy and me are great right now, we've been together coming up on seven months now. I have met his family many times, he lives with them, so I'm over there alot. The thing is he won't tell his family that we're dating. He's out to them so it's not a matter of him not wanting to come out. Whenever I bring it up he just says it's the wrong time. My family knows he's my boyfriend, I just don't know why he won't tell his. All of his friends know, so I hope it's not that he's embarassed of me. I'm just wondering what his deal is.
 
They know that he's gay and they've met his previous boyfriends (ones that he's been with for less than a month or two) and they're really supportive.
 
How strange. Have you talked with him about this? You never know what's going on in family units. Maybe they were over-interested in his previous boyfriends and it make him uncomfortable. Maybe he's embarrassed that some of his previous relationships lasted only a couple of months, and he doesn't want to confirm your status quite yet. Who knows? Only he can tell you what's going on.

Unless his family is pretty dumb, my guess is they've already figured out you two are dating. So, why isn't he open with them about that? I'd want to know the answer, if I were you.

Good luck!
 
I've asked him time and time again and he tells me it just isn't the right time. His mom has tried to force it out of him several times (she very obviously knows). He tells me that he just doesn't want to make things akward, and when I ask why they would be akward he just shrugs it off and changes the subject.
 
I'm really really close to his family though, so I'm not sure thats it.
 
I know it's tough, but it's really not all that bad of a situation. He's out to them, you've met them and his mother already suspects. The only thing left is for him to confirm what's already obvious. I'd just let him take his time. When the revelation is revealed, I doubt it'll change anything between you, him or his family.
 
No clue. Your boyfriend is an odd duck. Has he done this before with other boyfriends? Is this a recurrent theme or just with you?

Fortunately, it's nothing detrimental to the relationship nor does it hurt you. It's just odd and perplexing. I'm sure it will fade over time.
 
I've been in his situation. Although it was while I was dating a girl.

From my point of view I was looking for a more or less serious relation ship and wanted to wait until I felt that I knew that their was a possibility with this person that it could get more serious before I let them get really attached to my family. Maybe that's what he's waiting for; the reassurance that you might be his life long parter, if in fact that is what he is looking for. If not than there goes my theory. :p

I wouldn't stress about it. He's not embarrassed about dating you at all because if he was I doubt you would be going to his house.

Best option, talk to him about it. That's what eventually happened to me and when I told my girlfriend at the time my reason she understood and cooperatively waited for the right moment.

That's all I can offer to the situation, sorry mate. I hope it helps :)
 
I'm not getting it.

Why do you need him to declare anything to his family? They'll know how he feels about you by watching the two of you together.

Maybe he doesn't want to jinx it by announcing that you are yet another in his series of boyfriends.

Just relax. Enjoy the time you spend with him and his family for what it is.
 
My old boyfriend's family was big on the "things are known but not discussed". So when I met the family, I was a "friend". When we moved in together, I was his "roommate". Did that bother me? Not really. I understood that they had their comfort levels about things, and they always treated me well, so why should I mind?

The only possibly problem - and I'm reaching here - is if someone in the family asks YOU if you're dating. In which case, you shouldn't have any problem saying "yes".

Lex
 
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