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head games?

A

attallaborn

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here is the deal..my boyfriend & i have been going out for a few months. its our 1st “gay” relationship (outside of hetero ones) & we are still working out the kinks because we r clueless as to how to behave, since we both struggle for the masculine role in the relationship: ill be rough & flip his hot ass over & he’ll reverse it & pin me down..or ill slighty slap his face & he’ll slap my ass back, lol we still haven’t had “hardcore” sex becuz we aren’t really comfortable w/ performing anal or oral buuttt were r getting there (I think??)..

Anyway, lately.. I feel like he’s been playing head games because its been 2 days since he’s texted or called. In the begging, he bitched me out because I would sometimes not text or call & accused me of not loving him because I was inconsiderate: but wait.. im used to being a guy, & we guys don’t care too much 4 texts & phone talking & I figured he’d be the same but he wasn’t; so I thought it over & tried changed my ways…so I started texting & calling & guess what—now its he who takes hours to respond to texts, doesn’t call for days, breaks planes at the last minuet & never wants to talk long over the phone?! One day, he sent me a text message stating “thanks for not texting me all day!” and im like, wtf..you didn’t text me either?

The games go on & on…and I don’t and am not the one for such foolish games..so we broke up for a week & it killed me not to call him but he then called me and was like “so, you don’t want me anymore”…so, we agreed to get back together, but that it wouldn’t be as serious but he now repeats the same shit and im really fucking hurting..why does he play games!! Or im I just over analyzing the situation? Theres more games that he plays but I don’t want to make this post any longer …. :confused:
 
attallaborn said:
he bitched me out because I would sometimes not text or call & accused me of not loving him because I was inconsiderate: but wait.. im used to being a guy, & we guys don’t care too much 4 texts & phone talking & I figured he’d be the same but he wasn’t
Click to expand...

Texting and calling him more often won't make you a girl ;).

Anyways, so you say you did and he's "playing games".

Hmmm from what I read there and from personal experience, I wouldn't say he's playing games, maybe he isn't even doing it on purpose.

I suggest you talk to him about this, tell him that you're confused about all those things, communication is the key.

And I would advice to both of you to stop the "I'm the man of the relationship" thing. It can really be annoying to be with someone who is sooo worried about being percieved as masculine that he just limits himself. Plus, before being men, you're both 2 human beings who care for each other so there's nothing wrong with showing affection, being caring, and giving the other person attention. In fact, I think those qualities would make anyone fall in love, given in the right amount. It won't make you less of a man.
 
Relationships are work.

But if you're having battles over texting/calling, it doesn't bode well for the future.

As innocentbychoice mentions, communication is the key to a healthy relationship. Talk to him (in person, if possible) about the issue and let him know that it bothers you when you don't hear from him.

And a suggestion: "thanks for not texting me all day!” isn't communication- it's nagging. Instead say, "I really like it when you call, it makes my day."
 
Maybe it's going nowhere because as you said, you are both clueless how to behave with each other. It seems to me neither of you know what you want out of each other. Based on your OP, I'd say you really do want to get more intimate with him, but you are just afraid to make that move. You may as well try it next time, because it sounds like it's getting to the now or never point.
 
Way too much effort.

Stop the stupid games.

Find someone else.
 
attallaborn said:
...since we both struggle for the masculine role in the relationship: ill be rough & flip his hot ass over & he’ll reverse it & pin me down..or ill slighty slap his face & he’ll slap my ass back.....im used to being a guy, & we guys don’t care too much 4 texts & phone talking & I figured he’d be the same but he wasn’t...
Click to expand...

Yeah, thing is, you're both men in a relationship, if one of you is a woman, you're not gay. If you're going to try and evaluate your relationships according to some kind of bullshit hetero sex role paradigm you're never going to find one that works.
 
just communicate with him more often and he will too. jeez
 
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