Heartbroken

[dr1994]

So ive been texting a lad for a few days now and skyped with him abit. I really like this lad (I know it sounds daft saying I like him after 3 days. but I fall in love fast and I feel like ive known him all my life) He told me at first that he liked me, but he does like flirting with other guys too. I text him and he takes 6 hours to text me back so when I asked him what he'd been doing for 6 hours he first said that I didnt need to know. but then when I asked him again he said he is seeing somebody and he'd been with that person all day. I said I was cool with it and I asked him if we could still be mates coz i really liked him. he said yes at first but then when I started asking him stuff about this lad he said to me that im annoying and that i should just forget about him and delete his number and that I was to clingy and that he doesnt find me attractive at all (even though he said he liked my and fancied me when we first cammed) I told him I'd delete his number, but I have actully still got it. I really want to text him but he says im childish and everything. I really liked him, we got on really well he had ab amazing personality and he's so good looking.

So I dont know what to do ?? Shall I text him or shall I just let go ??

Im really hurting inside and I wanna be friends if nothing else

 

[shastamc24]

You're just going to creep him out. Stop texting him. There will be more.

 

[subsonic]

^^I second everything the wise Topher said. Let go and move on.
You shouldn't have been so clingy to begin with. But I understand - it's difficult when you like a guy. But it will all pass. There are plenty of fish in the sea. But to text him would just be making a further mess out of yourself. He expressed his desires, now you need to respect them and leave him alone. Delete his number and all texts from him, so you're sure that you won't contact him again when, say you're drunk, or something like that.
Be sure to learn from this experience. You shouldn't be the only one chasing.

 

[Telstra]

Move on.
You have to find as many people as possible.

The success rate for online hookup is 1% i think, so yeah find other guys ...

 

[HunterM]

We all have lives to keep us busy. Just because you have nothing to do, does not mean that he has nothing else to do but to text you back per your expected timeline. I get texts/notifications from from friends, from Groupons, from my bank, from my co-workers, from my family, advertisement notices, Facebook updates all the time. Sometimes, I miss replying back to my friends and family until 2 or 3 days later. Unless it is an emergency, it's no big deal. Here are dating tips in the future:

• Don't be desperate. Don't be possesive...it often comes across as stalkish behavior.
• Respect other people's privacy. If you want to be his friend, don't act like his mother...nagging him. Keep making new friends to keep your social life busy instead of focusing all your waking hrs on him.
• When you first met someone and would like to get in touch, invite them to do something fun with you. Plan face to face meetings often. Face to face conversations are richer communication than texting or emailing. You will get to see facial expressions and non-verbal body language...to get to know that person better.
• If you feel the need to text, text a funny joke. Don't expect a reply though. But...if it's funny, most people will respond back in text.

Like others have advised, don't contact him anymore. Drop him. Learn your lesson, and move on to make new friends.

 

[Seasoned]

Let me welcome you to JUB and invite you back to this forum often. I'm going to take a risk and read between the lines of what you wrote and make a guess or two. I got the sense that your mind was racing as you wrote your post.

If you and I were having a conversation over a coffee right now I wouldn't ask one question about this guy and I'd try to change the conversation if you brought him up. Here's what I'd like to know. When did you come out? What was your childhood like? What was your family like? Do you have close friends? How's your self esteem?

The reason I'd be asking those questions is because I'm guessing that you're functioning with at least a bit of emptiness and perhaps hurt. I'm also guessing that you fall in love quickly due to needing to feel complete.

If I'm totally full of shit I apologize, but I'm recognizing some of myself when I read between the lines of what you wrote.

I don't think just giving a new guy more space and time is going to be enough. Feeling good about yourself independent of another person ought to be a goal for all of us. Relationships are add ons and not appendages. My advice is to work on yourself, in therapy if necessary (some like me do better working on issues with someone else) so when you approach guys you do do as an equal, taking things as they come being more curious than desperate to see where they may lead.

 

[sixthson]

The question is not really should you text him (you shouldn't), but why you are reacting so strongly to someone you really
don't know. Your neediness will turn off more than just him. This is something you really need to deal with or be prepared to
creep out a lot of guys.
Even in real life it takes time to know and trust someone. The internet is even more so. People know just the right things to say
to attract you. Flirtatious guys are often this type of person.

 

[dr1994]

Thankyou guys, I havent text him and ive deleted him number, but ive just got two texts through now off him asking if im ok, why is he doing this to me ?

 

[maxpowr9]

I hate these stupid games people play with dating which is why I am not that interested in jumping so quickly back into the pool. You probably did come on strong, the other guy overreacted and wants to apologize but is still probably not interested in you. After a week, you'll be over it. I wouldn't even bother with being friendzoned by him either.

 

[Benvolio]

I see nothing wrong with waiting a week or two and texting him again. Very short, just a hi, just wondering how you are.
He may ignore you, or ask you to forget him. But perhaps he will renew his interest. You have nothing to lose and if he is annoyed, it is his fault.

 

[dr1994]

So hes gone back to not texting me and its getting me down, i feel like hes taking the piss out of me, im not going to text him anymore unless he texts me, Its upto him now.

 

[Telstra]

The rule for texting is, if there are no response for a few times, forget about it.
Don't need to think too much.

 

[ThatRandomGuy]

Focus on yourself, moving on, not texting, etc. He could have been everything you wanted, but he is not what you need. There needs to be synergy on both parts and he's made it clear that currently he doesn't want anything from you. Texting him and trying to get into a type of relationship with someone who doesn't have genuine feelings for you can end up hurting you even more.

You can try and do what others have said and texting a hello after some time has passed, but don't expect anything from it.

 

[dr1994]

Thankyou. We have been texting but its just been like small talk like him asking what ive been upto and things like that. Im ok with everything now. Ive been trying to keep busy to try and take my mind off him.

 

[Seasoned]

Do what you can to protect yourself from emotional extremes. One way is to develop a basic attitude towards him so as not to be on an emotional rollarcoaster based upon what he says or doesn't say or how he says something. Don't give away your power to control your reactions.