HELP! Have any of you had anxiety attacks due 2 a boy's inconsistent affection to u??

[CaliSurfBoy]

yesterday we went on a date together and it went really really well. im very observant and he made extra initiative to make it known that he had a great time with me and everything was great when we went our separate ways. then today i very excitedly sent him several text messages and he was very "short" with me in every single reply . one word two word answers and i called him three times and no answer.

im very confused and having severe anxiety attacks and ocd over what hes doing and why hes doing the things hes doing

im normally very cool calm and collected i dont know what is happening to me!

someone help. has anyone gone thru this?

 

[G-Lexington]

Re: HELP! Have any of you had anxiety attacks due 2 a boy's inconsistent affection to

Not precisely what's happening to you.
And not to the extent that it is.
But yeah, I've been there.

But come on. "Inconsistent affection"? It's been 24 hours. He may just be busy, or have other things on his plate right now.

Calm down.

You've sent him enough messages. He'll call you once he has time.

Lex

 

[SilverRRCloud]

Re: HELP! Have any of you had anxiety attacks due 2 a boy's inconsistent affection to

Chill out immediately. You are sending all kinds of wrong signals at the moment. Cut it out.

Yup. He acknowledged that he had had a good time with you. I am sure, you did the same, too.

Sending tons of txt and trying to call 3 times the next day all look very overwhelming, clingy and frankly, even desperate on your part.

Give him a break for couple of days and make sure that he understands that you have got life and other things to deal with, right?

Sure, get in touch with a decent, if not overwhelming plan for an evening, afternoon or whatever and see how he reacts... Do not push for it. He knows, how to say "yes", if he wants to.

Last but not least: many guys out there believe that they should end a dating attempt on a very civilized note. They go out of their ways to thank you and tell you how much they loved the time they spent with you. But they would never want to do anything with you ever again. They are basically, polite if somewhat dishonest.

Keep that option always at the back of your mind and do not always buy at the full retail price, rite?

SC

 

[Grey_Sky]

Re: HELP! Have any of you had anxiety attacks due 2 a boy's inconsistent affection to

Just calm down and slow your pace a bit. I know it's not easy but try to focus your mind in other activities, find something to distract you. Or else you might just scare him away.

I've felt the same as you a few times, over analyzing things and wanting to get in touch with the person every minute, and to me it always happends when I think I'm starting to fall for that person... The advice I can give you is this: Take your time. Be patient! If the night was good for him as well, he'll return your calls when he can, and you'll go out again eventually. If not, just face it and move on...

But one thing is certain, don't call him anymore or send him messages before he tries to get in touch with you. You've already made it clear that you want to talk to him. Once more, insisting on it will just scare him away.

Be cool!

 

[CaliSurfBoy]

Re: HELP! Have any of you had anxiety attacks due 2 a boy's inconsistent affection to

Chill out immediately. You are sending all kinds of wrong signals at the moment. Cut it out.

Yup. He acknowledged that he had had a good time with you. I am sure, you did the same, too.

Sending tons of txt and trying to call 3 times the next day all look very overwhelming, clingy and frankly, even desperate on your part.

Give him a break for couple of days and make sure that he understands that you have got life and other things to deal with, right?

Sure, get in touch with a decent, if not overwhelming plan for an evening, afternoon or whatever and see how he reacts... Do not push for it. He knows, how to say "yes", if he wants to.

Last but not least: many guys out there believe that they should end a dating attempt on a very civilized note. They go out of their ways to thank you and tell you how much they loved the time they spent with you. But they would never want to do anything with you ever again. They are basically, polite if somewhat dishonest.

Keep that option always at the back of your mind and do not always buy at the full retail price, rite?

SC

the thing is is that prior to this it was HIM who was extra affectionate so i dont understand this sudden change whatsoever.

on our first date he asked me if i wanted to be his boyfriend based on the fact that we talked on the phone for hours upon hours prior to actually meeting and based on the fact that we really hit it off and had great chemistry. so i mean his behavior is very inconsistent with how he was acting before which is why im so very confused..

it would be one thing if he were busy and wasnt able to answer my calls but he texted me back today..twice and one of the messages said that he was just hanging out today and didnt have any plans.

so i know hes not busy...

i just know someone can sympathize with me with the whole "waiitng by the phone" ordeal with a boy who one minute acts this way and the other acts totally opposite..

its driving me nuts

 

[rareboy]

Re: HELP! Have any of you had anxiety attacks due 2 a boy's inconsistent affection to

You may need professional help for this. Your OCD and anxiety are not the result of inconsistent affection. Are you actually experieincing these things, or just normal anxiety because you're afraid of rejection?

Stop texting. Geez, do you know how annoying the constant texting is? It is like someone butting in and interrupting all the time. Learn some patience. You'll be a lot less anxious.

 

[G-Lexington]

Re: HELP! Have any of you had anxiety attacks due 2 a boy's inconsistent affection to

What's going on? Hell, you don't know, so how should I?

Maybe he wants a bit of room.
Maybe he DOES have stuff to do.
Maybe he gets off on making you feel like he did.
Maybe he's an asshole.

You can text/call him all you want and demand answers, but it's his choice whether or not to provide them to you. Just as it's your choice whether or not to continue dealing with someone who you feel is treating you so poorly.

Let's just say, from my vantage point, things are already not looking too great.

Lex

 

[Kulindahr]

Re: HELP! Have any of you had anxiety attacks due 2 a boy's inconsistent affection to

You may need professional help for this. Your OCD and anxiety are not the result of inconsistent affection. Are you actually experieincing these things, or just normal anxiety because you're afraid of rejection?

Stop texting. Geez, do you know how annoying the constant texting is? It is like someone butting in and interrupting all the time. Learn some patience. You'll be a lot less anxious.

He's right. If those are real anxiety attacks and actual OCD, you should be getting help -- believe me, I know: I take meds for both those, and have had counseling to learn warning signs and coping mechanisms.

And constant texting IS a pain. I have a friend -- the first real gay friend I made after coming out -- who was always texting me with bubbly, happy messages, messages that made me laugh, pic messages that made me awed at the world. But there were four or five a day, and sometimes a half dozen in an hour, and it was too much!

If positive texts can be annoying, ones that sound nagging can make someone burn.
If you do suffer from GAD (general anxiety disorder), just tell him, and apologize for being a nag. Most people are very understanding.

 

[maxpowr9]

Re: HELP! Have any of you had anxiety attacks due 2 a boy's inconsistent affection to

If I was the guy recieving these text messages, I would be ignoring you completely. I cannot stand clingy people at all. I'm very independent and need my space. The moment I sense the guy is very dependent, I dump him.

I agree with the rest of the people, seek professional help on this issue and learn to cope with your anxiety.