Help! I think my sister has me all figured out!!!

[yehme2]

Well, its been a while now since i have accepted the fact that i might at least be bisexual.

Ever since the beginning of the year i have been on a constant struggle to find out who i am, like im sure most people in my shoes do.

Whilst i came out to people closest to me (best friends) they have accepted it quite well, even one of the best friends i have told turned out to be bisexual aswell. Which was a surprise cause he has a girlfriend.

Now come the hard part: FAMILY

i have 2 older brothers and 1 younger sister.

All of them somehow know about me.

While playing football in the playstation my brother asked me if i was gay, i said no.

Just yesterday my sister also asked me, cause she said it made sense since Im a huge britney fan and most of her male fans are gay.

I dont act gay and i dont look gay, just somehow most people question my sexuality and i dont know what to do.

I dont want to come out cause of my religion and im pretty sure my mom/dad and siblings might not accept it. Homosexuality is pretty much looked down upon and the family.

My question is: WHAT SHOULD I DO? Cause if i come out i probably will not be accepted, but these questions want me to scream: I AM GAY (or at least bi>?)

 

[G-Lexington]

>>>I dont act gay and i dont look gay, just somehow most people question my sexuality and i dont know what to do.

There's a common misconception amongst closeted guys that as long as you don't lisp, or squeal a lot, or dress in rainbow short shorts, that they're somehow completely hiding their sexuality. And whereas flamboyant gays are certainly easier to spot, they certainly aren't the only ones out there, and given enough time and cues, outsiders can pick up on their sexualities as well. This is conjecture, but I'd guess that most people start wondering whether a guy is gay not because of anything flamboyant he does, but due to a disinterest in the opposite sex. And though you say you "might be at least bisexual", if you haven't shown much interest in the opposite sex, that might have gotten the family wondering more than your CD collection.

So what to do? Psych I think made some good suggestions just above. If your family is asking casually - not accusing, not saying "You better NOT be gay!" - then chances are at least decent that they'll be supportive. If you feel a bit closer to one of your siblings, or find one of them to be easier to talk to, you might talk to them alone and lay out your concerns. You don't have to hang out your shingle just yet - feel free to say "I'm wondering if perhaps I'm bisexual, but I haven't quite figured it all out yet."

Lex

 

[KaraBulut]

I dont act gay and i dont look gay, just somehow most people question my sexuality and i dont know what to do.

Except for being a huge Britney fan, you mean.

Sometimes you have to give people a chance to tell you what they feel before you decide for them.

Maybe the best answer when your family asks is just to say, "Would it matter to you if I were?".

That might start a conversation and give you a better idea of what they feel, instead of you second-guessing what they feel.

 

[Yohan1989]

Well, being gay is not what make a person act girly, and I hate how people look at gays as girly? Even hetro folks can be girly!

Anyway, I am a bi but I like guys more so I am homoflexible but that what makes me a gay-bi lol

It is funny that my sister is noticing that I am gay. Pah, well duh. LOL

 

[Lube]

Psychotropic, Lex, and KaraBulut have really, really good advice.

Have you progressed at all? What's up?

 

[CudDULL]

I'm a huge britney fan too!! OMG I'm going to her concert this Tuesday and I can't wait

Anyway if you aren't comfortable coming out yet to your family don't do it. If you do want to though and you just want to get it over with at least you will have comfort in your friends. Talk to them first and if worst comes maybe you can stay with a friend. Also listen to britney for inspiration.

 

[CudDULL]

BTW if it seems like your brothers and sisters already know about it and since they are asking they seem to be okay with the idea that you are gay.

 

[yehme2]

Thanks for all the kind comments and advice.

Well, I have decided to just wait a little while, im finishing my university degree next year and hopefully then I can figure out what direction i want to take.

It is really hard to figure whats on my siblings mind... even though they love me and all, i think they're still kinda lost and confused about what to do. like, whether to confront me or not and how to handle if i said "yes i am gay" And i don't think im ready to "come out", cause im confused myself. I want to be ready and 100% of who I am before someone can really accept me.

Thanks again guys and i will be updating if anything goes on!

Also CudDULL, i think they might have an idea of me but they're not sure, hence why they're asking. I don't think anyone really knows how to react to hearing someone your close to is gay. Which is understandable, i guess. But this is all too confusing and i will defiantly be listening to Britney for inspiration

 

[CudDULL]

Yea I wouldn't blame them if they are confused and not come to terms with it, its taken us a while to come to term with our own sexuality, its only fair that they have time to accept it too.

 

[spencer]

My friend is a Britney fan, went to the concert and everything. Straight with a girlfriend. If you're gonna live in the closet, you gotta man up, npi. Otherwise, you have no choice cause you'll be the obvious closted gay.

 

[Lube]

Thanks for all the kind comments and advice.

Well, I have decided to just wait a little while, im finishing my university degree next year and hopefully then I can figure out what direction i want to take.

It is really hard to figure whats on my siblings mind... even though they love me and all, i think they're still kinda lost and confused about what to do. like, whether to confront me or not and how to handle if i said "yes i am gay" And i don't think im ready to "come out", cause im confused myself. I want to be ready and 100% of who I am before someone can really accept me.

Will you ever be 100% sure? Don't use that as a distraction. You can come out when you're 90% sure (just not a good idea when you're 10% sure).

It sounds like they already know (maybe more than you do!) and are cool with it. Why are trying to hide it when they've already figured it out?

You'll feel a million times better after you're out. And you'll wonder why you didn't do it years ago.

My friend is a Britney fan, went to the concert and everything. Straight with a girlfriend.

Sure. I smell a "beard".

 

[yehme2]

it might be, but im still going to wait a little untill i can support myself and then we can see from then on.

 

[yehme2]

My friend is a Britney fan, went to the concert and everything. Straight with a girlfriend. If you're gonna live in the closet, you gotta man up, npi. Otherwise, you have no choice cause you'll be the obvious closted gay.

That's terrible advice, but thanks for trying

 

[Lube]

im still going to wait a little untill ...

Just make sure that doesn't keep getting extended and extended and extended.

 

[spencer]

That's terrible advice, but thanks for trying

it's not terrible advice, if you're going to live in the closet you're going to have to act straight. if you're not going to act straight what's the point of being in the closet. you're the one concerned with being found out but it sounds like you're not doing a good job of playing the straight part.

 

[yehme2]

I am not going to act anything but myself and if it means even being found then so be it. I am not afraid to act who i am and plus I don't act feminine, most my friends were surprised when they found out i was bi. So I never acted straight and i will never act straight. I just do me.

 

[spencer]

You've already decided that you're gonna be yourself, but you wanna stay in the closet. Those differ. you have 2 choices, act straight and stay in or be yourself and have your family continue to question you as you deny it.