Help me bag this straight guy :)

[jublub]

Hey all, this seems like a fun place and I had to register because I need yer help. I'll try and keep it short but unlike some of these help me posts I think I actually have a shot in hell!

Theres a guy at my college who came up to me when we were all out, and just started feeling me up. I was shocked, and around my friends and since I'm "straight," I was pretty cold to him. I didn't call him a fag or anything but gave him a weird look and walked away. He did the same thing later that night, but I still couldn't risk anything.

I see him all the time at school, but now he never makes eye contact with me, and I don't know if it's because I intimidated him away or he's not into it anymore. What makes it harder is that we don't have the same friends or any classes together, so I don't party with him. Even worse, whenever I see him at least one of us is with friends and my friends would find it weird if I ever said anything to him. Even if I saw him without anyone around I wouldn't know what to say that doesnt sound clumsy, since I don't even know his name and he probably wants to forget that night (or maybe all the alcohol already helped him do that )

So what would you guys do if you were me? This would be a cool way for me to explore m2m, and this guy's a hot jock who also found me hot enough to keep coming up to me. I see him around all the time but never know what to do or say!

 

[AngelFromAbove]

If he is straight, he will not be interested.

 

[PSCGuy]

Maybe you could just ask him about what happened the other night. There's one of two scenarios, I think.

1) He thinks you weren't interested, after thinking that you would be, and is avoiding you because of that.

2) He regrets what he did, and is avoiding you because he is either afraid that you aren't interested and would judge him, or that you are and he isn't anymore.

If you want to broach the topic with him, that's your business. Just keep in mind that maybe he didn't intend to come on to you. I'm using that because you mentioned alcohol. Was he drunk at the time? But you were rather sparse on a lot of the details.

If you're "straight" in public, it would be a little weird to think that he would be legit interested. However, you gave him the cold shoulder yourself. There are a lot of conflicting parts of the story, so I think you can only really ask him about it. If he's into something, then that will follow. If he isn't, then you can't force him to be. But the weight of things falls on his shoulders. All you can do is talk at this point.

 

[Soilwork]

He did the same thing later that night, but I still couldn't risk anything.

no guts, no glory.

Sorry.

 

[AdmiraalW238]

If he is straight then count it up to alcohol...if it worries you that much then think about just taking him aside for a chat and discuss it one on one...if was the alcohol then that is that but then there is a chance that he is 'family' and really is interested then go for it

 

[jublub]

Maybe you could just ask him about what happened the other night. There's one of two scenarios, I think.

1) He thinks you weren't interested, after thinking that you would be, and is avoiding you because of that.

2) He regrets what he did, and is avoiding you because he is either afraid that you aren't interested and would judge him, or that you are and he isn't anymore.

If you want to broach the topic with him, that's your business. Just keep in mind that maybe he didn't intend to come on to you. I'm using that because you mentioned alcohol. Was he drunk at the time? But you were rather sparse on a lot of the details.

If you're "straight" in public, it would be a little weird to think that he would be legit interested. However, you gave him the cold shoulder yourself. There are a lot of conflicting parts of the story, so I think you can only really ask him about it. If he's into something, then that will follow. If he isn't, then you can't force him to be. But the weight of things falls on his shoulders. All you can do is talk at this point.

Thanks. He was drinking but I don't know how drunk he was since I wasn't with him, didn't even know him. He wasn't stumbling or slurring, so he wasnt too far gone.

You can't just blame alcohol cause you don't just do chummy pretend homoerotic stuff with guys you've never met. Or walk up to them just to feel up then walk away. Any guy knows they're liable to get a fist in the face for that.

Guess my best chance is waiting to see him at the bar again, then maybe I'll just go up to him and do exactly what he did to me like I'm teasing him for feeling me up. If he bites, great. If not, ah well.

 

[Soilwork]

Let's point out the obvious that maybe you're not as "straight acting" as you pride yourself as being. I've known a LOT of guys who go on and on about how "nobody can tell" that they're gay when in reality, it's just the clueless straight people who couldn't spot a gay guy unless he was Chris Crocker.

This guy obviosuly knows that you're into guys. He didn't think he'd get a "fish in the face." I'm willing to bet he knew he wouldn't. He probably heard you were good for a go.

OR... maybe he was sent to test you. One of your friends told him to do it so they could test the theory that they're all whispering behind your back.

OR... He's just some drunk guy who was being a knob and toying with that guy that everyone thinks is gay but isn't totally sure because he's always going on about how straight he is.

There's a lot of explanations for what happened.

 

[tmb1]

Dude, just come out of the closet. Unless of course you enjoy all of this hiding and what ifs, cuz this is how the rest of your life will be. Why not take the risk of coming out, and giving yourself the chance to actually have a relationship that you deserve.

 

[jublub]

Dude, just come out of the closet. Unless of course you enjoy all of this hiding and what ifs, cuz this is how the rest of your life will be. Why not take the risk of coming out, and giving yourself the chance to actually have a relationship that you deserve.

I will do that, just not right now. This isnt a massive deal to me, just would be fun to fool around. This guy's not worth what my strong Irish Catholic family would put me through since I don't think he was looking for any sort of meaningful relationship and right now neither am I. I see your point but I think I'll wait untill I move away to watch my parents explode.

 

[hoosierguy]

I don't think your giving your family enough credit.
I'm a few years past 50 and also felt I had to leave home to come out at age 19. My dad is a macho mechanic and I also felt he couldn't handle it. I went many years without contact with my parents because I thought they couldn't handle it.
My sister however stayed close to home and had a series of bad marriages, kids by different men and financial issues that they had to bail her out over and over again. I now live close to home again and
I've had the same partner for over 25 years and my dad and he are the best of friends. When I go to visit they always end up in the garage tinkering with my dad's latest car restoration.
My point is, is you live your life true I think they would respect you for that. Most parents just want their kids to grow up happy.

 

[billybob109]

Kind of weird i think. Even if he did know that you were gay/bi why would a random person come up to you are start feeling you up? You got to explain more did you guys start talking then then he was hitting on you or he just randomly walked up to you and started to grope you.. I would of been like wtf and said at least buy me dinner first!

 

[jublub]

When he copped a feel the first time was it for 2 seconds or 30? Was it like he brushed into you or fondled you in clear sight of everyone? If he did it once he will do it again. When you run into him in a bar wait and see if he does it again. If he does you can press back into his hand, moan or ask him if he wants all of it in private. You dont have to grab his crotch first cause you might get punched out.

it was shorter, like 5 seconds.. but it felt like a long 5 seconds. was kind of like he just brushed into me and then started complimenting me asking if i work out and stuff. the place was so packed and he probably thought no one would see. i think next time i wll try something like you recommend.

billybob no he didnt introduce himself we didnt talk or anything, he just did this and I found it as weird as you do but kind of hot at the saem time.

hoosierguy your story is really really awesome to hear and I hope that happens for me, but some of the things my parents say are scary. I won't be like this forever though, just waiting till it's right to tell my parents.