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Help with Best Friend problem

  • Thread starter Thread starter SantaCBear
  • Start date Start date
S

SantaCBear

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Does he know you're gay/bi/curious ?

Many gay guys get the wrong idea about how str8 guys act when 'bonding' - There's a lot of hugging, grab assing, innuendo and the like, especially when drinking. Means little about their sexuality.
 
OKay, so his joking around, leaning on you and dirty talk means nothing. IMHO

If you 'came out' to him do you think it would affect y'all relationship?
 
College days are a good time to comeout to mates... He is your BEST friend afterall - but the call is yours when you're ready.

best of luck
 
Coming out to him is your decision but I think the talk is just that...talk...especially since you say it happens when you are out drinking. As someone else pointed out, guys often act this way as a method of male bonding. While we can't help it to look for "signals" and use our "gaydar", often those signals can be mixed or misleading or we read into them too much. I could be wrong but I think he is just expressing his affection for you as a friend. Period.
 
sounds like just young guy college talk. I would feel it out more but very carefully. If you make the wrong move you could jeoperdize alot of issue's. And good friends are hard to come by and if you respect him then you should be very carefull. If it goes wrong then you could be outted in college which might not be the best time for you. so tread carefully and maybe look for some else and keep him as your freind. Some times what is fine now goes to shit later and everyone loses. But maybe ask him questions when you guys are buzzed and go from there, most guys open up when they are buzzed.

so be carefull as it may not be worth it to lose a good freind.

good luck
 
I would not force the issue. If you two are sharing a room and you let him know you want to be more than friends and he isn't--well it could make for a very awkward situation!! Explore the possibility but be very careful!!
 
Frankly, I also do not see your friendship blossoming into a full-blown gay relationship with the rainbow flag in your front garden, regardless of your possible coming-out to him.

I also very much agree with previous posters that str8 males tend to talk dirty after having imbibed more booze than is generally good for them. And, no doubt, some perceive it as 'male bonding' among the college dudes on a drinking binge of a kind.

Yet, one thing just does not fit into the whole pattern of events. The fact that this 'bonding' is recurring repeatedly. Un-curious str8 dudes will talk 'dirty' to another befriended male once in a blue moon and would really never return to the subject. Partly, because you do not want the other male to think that you are gay, and partly because you just do not really happen to see other males as objects of your sexual desire.

Bottomline: Coming out to him now would be fine, if you have no other intentions with him. He is a str8 guy and will hopefully respect your sexual identity. He is a friend, so you expect him to, even more so.

Equally so, your sexual identity is your very personal matter. Only you can choose to share it (or not) with him. In all likelihood, you would still want to do some 'exploring' with him, as the saying goes, and the fact that you are now a declared 'gay' may be a serious obstacle in his eyes.

Do not push your envelope too far but feel free to actively respond to his signals. And feel free to continue sending signals of your own. Respect your friend but do not obstruct the course of events in any way. He is an adult; if you are putting your moves on him, so be it. If he does not want to go there, he'll say so.

Last bit of advice: if you really want to mess around with an apparently curious str8 dude, be prepared for the consequences and leave the Gay story out of it. Lots of str8 but curious guys out there will suck your dick at the drop of the hat and even let you penetrate them now and then, but they would never agree to do it with another gay male. I know, it is all twisted the wrong way... but that is how these tend to work these days...

SC
 
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