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help!!!

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andrew17

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ok. there is this guy i met during my summer coarses at binghamton university. we didnt really ever talk. maybe just a quick "hello," here and there. one day, we started talking a little bit more and he heard that i was bisexual. so one day he confronts me about that. i told him it wasnt true. he said "oh. ok." so then a day passes, and he says to me "im gonna ask you again because i keep on hearing it. are you bisexual?" so i finally said. "yeah man. its true" so he says "oh really? thats cool" and since that day, he started coming around all the time. he has practically became a best friend of mine. i remember last year he had a guy like him and he told a few of his friends and word got out and i thought wow, what an asshole. but its so weird because i never thought id like him but ive fallen for him. i cant get him off my mind. i want to tell him but i cant. he says hes straight and hes 'strictly for vagina'. i get the feeling hes lying. everyone of my friends says i should go for it because they think hes bicurious. he calls me like 10 times a day and he always wants to hang out. i am so depressed because im not with him and i just broke up with my girl because of this. what do u guys think? i mean its kind of ironic that he comes around after learning im bi. please help me on ways to tell him because I LOVE HIM TO DEATH.
 
Relax! You're both a little inexperienced and confused. If you're into it, go for it! See how you feel after and you can think more about being, bi, gay, or straight.
 
i am deffinately bisexual. but im unsure if he is. what do you guys think?
 
You're obvoiusly talking a lot. You're getting kinda close. Why don't you just ask him point blank?

Next time you're talking about dating/guys/sex - when it's just the two of you - just turn to him and casually say, "You ever think about guys at all?" That's his opening. If he says, "No, not at all", that's your answer. Otherwise...well, now you've got YOUR opening. :)

Lex
 
he would tell me no. but idk. its so crazy. i just feel like hes lying. like hes not ready to tell anyone.
 
andrew17 said:
i am deffinately bisexual. but im unsure if he is. what do you guys think?
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Dude.... you are making too big a deal out of it all. It seems he likes to hang with you and wants to get to know you. Accept that for what it is, and just get to know him.
And be upfront with him. If you love him and want to date him just say so. What is so tough about that? If he says no, then you guys still might be great buddies.
It really is not a life and death matter friend.... you guys are both young. Just be upfront and say what you want to say. Unless you two become long term friends you won't be spending much together in the near future anyway. No harm in speaking your mind.
Could be he's feelings for you that you don't realize and how the hell else will you know about that unless you two talk about those things.
 
i feel like something is there. i know i love the guy. i havent ever felt this way about anyone. its crazy. but i dont know. maybe go out partying with him and see if he can admit it when hes drunk?? haha
 
Even if he's "bi curious" he still says he's straight. That's the reality (or fantasy) he wants to live under. Thus, your chances of getting into his pants are practically nil. And, even if you did, he'd hate you for it in the morning because you would have just totally ruined the fantasy in his own mind that he's straight.

Pressing you with personal questions about your sexuality was weird (and creepy) enough, but it seems to be a pattern with him.

Yet, he's befriending you and even been so good/nice that you've fallen for him. I'm worried about this whole situation because he's either a royal manipulator of the first order, or you're a sitting target for someone who shows friendship and affection. In either case, it's you that stands to get hurt.

Look at it this way. He knows you have attractions to men--you've told him you're bi. If he felt the same way, and was interested in exploring a relationship with you, he could do it a lot more directly. He hasn't. So, he's either toying with you (and your heart), or he's totally mixed up and wants it both ways (closeness with bi guys and yet "straight"). Something's fishy here. Please be careful. He may not be the great friend you think he is.
 
What they've all said.

I think he's toying with you as well, whether intentionally or not. If you love him as a friend, just leave it that way. Your fantasy may be better than the reality as well.
 
>>>he would tell me no. but idk. its so crazy. i just feel like hes lying.

So what are you gonna do? Push him into it? Say, "I think you're lying" and start rubbing his crotch?

By saying "I'm not interested in guys," he's set the line. He likes you as a friend. Nothing more. If that changes, he'll let you know. But until that time, either accept his platonic friendship or find yourself somebody else to hang out with.

Lex
 
They way he asked you if you were bi once was a little strange, but asking a second time was really weird. You should ask him why it was so important for him to know if you were bi. Ask why after verifying you are bi that he started hanging around you so much. I would say he's probably curious, but too afraid to make a move. Tell him you think he's bi, but too scared to tell anyone. Let him know that you are there for him if he wants to talk about it. If he continues to deny it, just drop the subject and move on. Life's too short to play games.
 
vetteboi said:
They way he asked you if you were bi once was a little strange, but asking a second time was really weird. You should ask him why it was so important for him to know if you were bi. Ask why after verifying you are bi that he started hanging around you so much. I would say he's probably curious, but too afraid to make a move. Tell him you think he's bi, but too scared to tell anyone. Let him know that you are there for him if he wants to talk about it. If he continues to deny it, just drop the subject and move on. Life's too short to play games.
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But swear to keep it to yourself IF he does tell you AND DO THAT!
 
thank you guys. im going to talk about it with him this weekend. lastnight, he asked me if i wanted to go see a game. he talked about how his twin was going too but how wed just ditch him and chill. unfortuanately, i had to tell him i couldnt. but im thinking that he is bicurious.
 
I'm thinking he's a bit of a dick if he ditches his twin after they arrange to go to a game together. How hot is his twin?
 
My take on ditching the twin is that it's an indication that he wants to spend time alone with you. Not knowing the relationship he has with his twin, it's hard to judge the comment negatively. For all we know his twin may have been telling him to go for it. They may also have the type of relationship where changing plans is no big deal to either one of them. We just don't know.

Too bad you can't go. I'm sure there will be other opportunities.
 
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