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[Kevmez82]

Ok brief background I'm bi /bi curious, I have given blowjobs I have had sex with 3 guys once in my teens, but wasn't enjoyable and bled a little and nothing been up there since, anyway I've now got my own place so figured I would explore. And friend gave me this advice, lube up alot, experiment with fingers and invest in a sex toy. I was nervous about ordering something online so I gave him money and he ordered it.


What he's ordered is a life like realistic 9inch Dildo that's 7 inch circumference he said he got it got it was cheap and it is true i checked.

Ok so tried using it i spent a long time with my fingers I managed to get 3 in without much pain, so I tried the Dildo and spent ages working on the head with a little pressure on my hole eventually I felt my sphincter relax and stretch round the head. Omg when my ass closed up after head was in. It hurt I left it there for a bit then took it out, the back in and kept repeating, any other advice please.

 

[KaraBulut]

Welcome to JUB. Congrats on making your first post.

Ok brief background I'm bi /bi curious, I have given blowjobs I have had sex with 3 guys once in my teens, but wasn't enjoyable and bled a little

First, let's do a reset on "gay sex" and sexual orientation. Gay sex involves another guy and it can be anything from making out to a handjob to trading blowjobs or anal sex. But it's not the sex that makes you gay or bi, it's the attraction and interest in another male that defines being gay. There gay guys who have never had an interaction with another guy but who still identify as "gay"- it's not the sex, it's the attraction, that defines their orientation.

At this point, you're "curious" and as you put yourself out there, hopefully your sexual orientation will get clearer.

.. 9inch dildo that's 7 inch circumference...

So, it sounds like you want to experiment with anal play. Hopefully, you're doing this because the idea of anal pleasure interests you.

The first problem in your post is that your friend bought you a dildo that is much larger than the typical male penis. An average sized penis is between 5-7 inches long and 4-5 inches in circumference.

You might want to step back a bit and buy something smaller- like a set of butt plugs. If you are turned on by the idea of playing with your ass with something that looks like a penis, you should start with a dildo that is small and only go bigger once you get to a point where you're enjoying the smaller dildo.

Put the dildo your friend bought you in a drawer. Do some shopping and buy something closer to the typical and average penis size.

Some advice when you're shopping: don't buy toys from a site that sells to straight couples. Dildos for women tend to be too large for anal play unless you're an experienced bottom.

A graduated butt plug set is an option for a beginner:

Or buy a "realistic" texture dildo that is made of soft material that has a place to grab onto (sometimes in the shape or a scrotum). A suction cup can also help fix the dildo to a flat surface to free up your hands.

Start slow. Lube up the tip and start by using the tip to massage your anus while you masturbate. When you're ready, advance the tip inside you, only as long as you find it pleasurable. As you learn to relax and as you find it pleasurable, then continue to advance your toy over time.

But keep in mind while you're doing this: anal play is not a requirement for being gay or bi. There are plenty of straight guys who enjoy getting their ass played with or having their girlfriends peg them.

Figuring out whether you're straight, gay or something in between... that's a whole other process.

 

[cabinfever]

^^^Kara gave you good advice so I will just echo one thing - START SMALLER! - and follow the rest of this^^^^

 

[Kevmez82]

Thank you for the warm welcome and yes the interest of ananal sex and anal play is intriguing and is something I want to enjoy.

As I said I've on had anal sex a number of times but I do feel that a man's dick when in easier even with him being only a inch smaller, so I know can take something big but its the whole doing it without pain

 

[KaraBulut]

....As I said I've on had anal sex a number of times but I do feel that a man's dick when in easier even with him being only a inch smaller, so I know can take something big but its the whole doing it without pain

The reason that many people say that a penis is easier to take than an equal-sized dildo has to do with the consistency and pliability.

Some of the newer "realistic" dildos are made of newer materials that are bendable and have a soft feel. Some have a firm interior center surrounded by a soft, compressible exterior layer. Others have an empty core surrounded by a soft, compressible exterior material. That compressible exterior- usually made of silicone or rubber- makes the dildo "give" when there is pressure. That helps reduce the pressure when the anal sphincter is not completely relaxed.

The pictures below are larger than the dildos that I would recommend for a beginner but the images show how soft and compliant the gel material on the exterior of the dildo is:

Take your time shopping and invest in a toy that is smaller and is made of a material that is soft and pliable. You'll find that the toy is easier to insert and causes less uncomfortable stretching sensations. Over time, if you aren't causing pain when using the toy, you are more likely to relax your anal sphincter and the sensation will be more pleasurable.

 

[Kevmez82]

I've been looking for something like that but I can't seem to find anything that soft in uk, plus these things are not cheap. But still looking.

I decided I would try it once more time last night, had a warm bath before hand, made sure I was empty and use a hell of a lot of lube and I took the advice I had seen on another thread on here to go VERY VERY slowly this worked I got into a different position and eventually I got it inside me with no pain and I just got this rush I can't really describe it, my leg was shaking uncontrollably, I was rocking back and forth on it.

 

[MusicMan321]

This is a nice place to get answers from by other guys and hopefully you'll be exploring more of yourself meaning your body

 

[Kevmez82]

This is a nice place to get answers from by other guys and hopefully you'll be exploring more of yourself meaning your body

Yes so far I'm happy with the replies I've got so far and feel welcomed here. I have been trying again because someone told me that if I keep doing it eventually my body will learn that something entering me is normal it won't be as difficult and to just go slow, but my god I had no idea that it would feel that good. Whew

 

[KaraBulut]

...I have been trying again because someone told me that if I keep doing it eventually my body will learn that something entering me is normal it won't be as difficult and to just go slow...

The way to think of it is that the anus is a muscle and like any muscle, it has to be trained.

What you're doing with the dildo is pretty much what is recommended over in the H&W forum in the All About Ass thread.

... but my god I had no idea that it would feel that good. Whew

There's a reason that pegging is so popular with the straight guys.

 

[ShadowCat]

I have the same problem 10 years ago I bought my first Dildo a slim jim jelly dong from Lovers Lane it was only 6x like 1.5 at it's thickest part nice and tapered very easy to work into a virgin hole! But 6 years ago I bought a bigger one I didn't think it was much bigger boy howdy I WAS WRONG!! This motherfucker is 6.5 inches long, but nearly 5 around I have only got it up my hole 2x every other subsequent time I bled some. It does have a bendy core I'm thinking that is the problem. I also have a buttplug again eyes bigger than my ass but it looked so much smaller widest is 4 in around again solid core, Finally I bought a Cal Exotics silicone love probe and that is a bit smaller well the first 3 bumps again trying to get the last in again hard core will make me bleed some. I really think its those cores slim jim and my prostate massager one is real tiny and the other is jelly so its squishy and thus more forgiving! I have been through different lubes: Atsroglide liquid meh, Spunk silicone very messy, spunk pink dont think its being made anymore, spunk silicone hybrid was just ok, Gun Oil I think the ingredients promote blood flow so that made bleeding worse, Trojan Hyalauronic acid aloe needed sooooo much, Astroglide Gel this lasted a lot longer than the liquid plus was slightly thicker for anal play now I have Swiss Navy waterbased and that seems to be pretty good.