Hey You! VIRGIN! Yeah! YOU!

[Brijan]

Please be aware it is okay to be a virgin.
It is more than okay to be a virgin.

For those virgins out there, STOP saying things like "I'm still a virgin. Embarrassing! I know!" or "How stupid of me to still be a virgin at [age]!"

Don't ask for advice on how to easily or quickly lose your virginity. It is probable the responses will lead you into unsafe or regrettable situations.

Do ask yourself why being a virgin is so bad. How losing your virginity will make you a better or happier person?

Don't have unprotected sex as a means to an end.

Do become educated about virginity and sex. You can start here.

In fear of this becoming a long winded rant, I'll let you go read that link now.

Go!
Click it and read!

 

[irish1]

BRAVO

Leaving virginity behind is a big step. Please do it wisely, and with a joy, rather than with a fear that you are getting older, and are inexperienced.

Giving someone your cherry should be very special.

 

[spreadeagle]

Virginity is simply a state of mind, an attitude.

The idea that virginity, especially for gay men, is some sort of sacrosanct ideal is romantic twaddle. Men have no hymen and for many women the hymen is no longer intact at the time of first intercourse anyway. For women - and straight men - the possibility of pregnancy is a major consideration; that possibility does not exist for gay men.

Every man has masturbated and ejaculated prior to his first sexual intercourse so the physiological aspects of sex are hardly mysterious or magical. That only leaves the relationship with the lover. We have all experienced human relationships from day one. For men, if the loss of virginity is unpleasant, it's a simple matter to go back to being a virgin again.

 

[Brijan]

The idea that virginity, especially for gay men, is some sort of sacrosanct ideal is romantic twaddle. Men have no hymen and for many women the hymen is no longer intact at the time of first intercourse anyway.

Virginity has moved beyond the physical (i.e. the hymen, a lack of a hymen, or the intactness of one's hymen).
Virginity, as a concept, encompasses the person a whole. Their mind, body, emotions, beliefs.

For women - and straight men - the possibility of pregnancy is a major consideration; that possibility does not exist for gay men.

So?
The risks of STDs/STIs are there for both sexes. I'm not sure why "pregnancy" is the only "major consideration" that deserves mention.

Every man has masturbated and ejaculated prior to his first sexual intercourse so the physiological aspects of sex are hardly mysterious or magical.

Masturbation is an imitation of sex. It is meant to replicate sexual intercourse not replace it.
I'm sure there are any number of people who would argue that masturbation and sex are not the same thing.
If sex and masturbation are the same thing, then why would anyone go through the extra work to get sex when one can masturbate whenever they feel like it and achieve the same results?

That only leaves the relationship with the lover. We have all experienced human relationships from day one. For men, if the loss of virginity is unpleasant, it's a simple matter to go back to being a virgin again.

It almost seems as if you are trying to equate ALL human relationships with the relationship one has with a lover.
If that is the case, then following your logic, having sex with your lover would be no different than having sex with your neighbour, or parent, or sibling, or that kid who stole you lunch money in grade nine, or that person who you had a crush on but then found out they didn't know your name.

 

[SilverRRCloud]

Virginity has moved beyond the physical (i.e. the hymen, a lack of a hymen, or the intactness of one's hymen).
Virginity, as a concept, encompasses the person a whole. Their mind, body, emotions, beliefs.

Sorry, says Who?

Virginity is a physical concept. You can very well be madly in love with someone and that someone may also very well be equally madly in love with you, but we all know what losing virginity means, don't we? The action is pretty graphic.

So?
The risks of STDs/STIs are there for both sexes. I'm not sure why "pregnancy" is the only "major consideration" that deserves mention.

Yes by all means. STDs/STIs are there for both sexes and yes, they are a major consideration. However, majority of the STDs/STIs are curable. Few people will really suggest that you stay virgin, because that may be an excellent course of prevention. But a few people are hoping that their wives are virgins, since they see no particular virtue in raising other people's kids.

Masturbation is an imitation of sex. It is meant to replicate sexual intercourse not replace it.
I'm sure there are any number of people who would argue that masturbation and sex are not the same thing.
If sex and masturbation are the same thing, then why would anyone go through the extra work to get sex when one can masturbate whenever they feel like it and achieve the same results?

Basically, all the textbooks on the subject do agree that masturbation is a form of sex(ual) gratification. I'd gladly agree on the subject that it is really meant to substitute sexual intercourse and not really to replace it. And, yup, men and even women go through extra work to get extra sex for many reasons: one of them - they are promiscous.

Just another prospective on the subject.

SC

 

[Piet]

I am a virgen, a South African virgen. me being a virgen has nothing to do of std, or state of mind - which is very boring- i am just so damm ugly (that is not my words).

My whish is just to experience love, or being in love, at least once in my entire life. i am 23, and i only will get more ugly.

any advice?

 

[FirePhoenix]

I don't think we all say things like it is bad to be a virgin or I would want to lose my virginity for no reason or it would make me happier. So don't just lump us all into the same group.

I am a virgen, a South African virgen. me being a virgen has nothing to do of std, or state of mind - which is very boring- i am just so damm ugly (that is not my words).

My whish is just to experience love, or being in love, at least once in my entire life. i am 23, and i only will get more ugly.

Exactly. It really does depend on the individual.
(btw Piet your post sounds like something I would say )

 

[Piet]

sorry, i made a mistake ..

I am a virgen, a South African virgen. me being a virgen has nothing to do of std, or state of mind - which is very boring- i am just so damm ugly (that is not my words).

i ment to say it is important, i don't know why i said boring, i am sorry

 

[puka-pride]

I wish i was still a virgin *sigh*

 

[doctorsun]

I'm 21 and a virgin. It's not completely by choice, but even if circumstances were different for me, I don't know if I would have chosen differently.

So much emphasis is placed on sex and I think it's a really unhealthy thing for people to have in the back of their minds.

It also bothers me how insignificant the act of having sex has becoming. It's no longer special or means anything. All of this bullshit about oral sex not counting is so dangerous. You are NOT a virgin if you've done ANYTHING sexual with someone else. If it wasn't sex, it wouldn't be called SEXual.

 

[belamy]

http://www.navidadlatina.com/arte/plastica/ribera virgen.jpg

 

[BrandonSBCA]

I'm waiting for that nice man to come into my life and take my virginity away, better than losing it to someone you didn't want to lose it with.

 

[belamy]

I'm waiting for that nice man to come into my life and take my virginity away, better than losing it to someone you didn't want to lose it with.

http://www.takeourword.com/images/spinster.jpg

 

[BrandonSBCA]

If only it could be that easy.

 

[eruvawen]

Thanks i am 23 and virgin and proud to be

 

[justsimon]

Well thought-out thread, Brijan.

 

[teh_nathan]

Very well thought out..if I could do it all over again, I'd probably be a virgin now and would think nothing of it.

But since the TARDIS is beyond my reach (doh!), one learns from the past and moves on.

 

[jwest]

somebody had to say it..
nice job

 

[dr_beat]

Brijan, I always thought you were cool even though I didn't know you were a virgin.

Uhm, is that what this thread is about...?

 

[luminum]

There is soemthing romantic about giving your virginity up to someone who you really love. Still, it was fun to just have sex once or twice with a friend.

Only give up your virginity when you want to have sex, kids, not the other way around.