heya - new relationship - need advice lol

[Jimbo2184]

Hi guys,

I know there are a lot of threads like this on here, so I'll try to keep this brief lol.

For once I've turned up trumps with a fella I've had a few on off relationships in the past but this time he makes me wonder if he's the one for me.

Like for instance take what happened today, I had a crap day - had a lot of people in work give me some harsh grief - but when he heard about it he popped over in the car and visited me in work - I was chuffed and it was pretty unexpected. he wanted to surprise me, he hugged me and made me feel so much better. In that respect he's really supportive and I think a lot of him.

I just wonder how long I should leave things before i say those magic three words to him. I am falling for him in a big way - we've been dating for a few weeks now. I've just not said anything but - and this sounds corny - but when I get that hug from him I feel a lot of love there - a good sign maybe?

We're meeting on Sunday for a few hours so I'll get back to you with how it went. I've got to admit this guy makes me the happiest I've ever been in a few years so the last thing i ever want to do is scare him off or push him away...

Anyway thanks for reading

J
x

 

[SilverRRCloud]

Take it nice, slow 'n easy. (You must have heard that one before, rite.)

Before you spill it out, take your time to show rather than say, how you feel about your friend. That will do miracles, and would do for him, exactly what he did for you today... and more.

SC

 

[G-Lexington]

If you think it's too early, if you think he'll freak out if you say them, then don't. But you can say it without saying it, if you catch my drift.

"Thanks so much for coming over to see me at work. I can't tell you how much that means to me."
"You make me feel really special."
"I'm so much happier since you came into my life."

And for the love of God, find out when you can return the favor - go make HIM feel good, too!

Lex

 

[racer2438]

Dont rush and dont scare him off he might not be ready for the words. although sometimes it does work for some, so be careful you are just starting connect and let that build. I would say things likes you apriciated what he did and thank him and let him know how special that ws for you.

Someone is out there for you but dont rush.

In my case I did not rush and was not looking for it but it just fell in my lap and I met the most wonder full man ever. We met one night, I stayed that night and I never left. That was 24 years ago we are still together today and could not be happier.

So it does happen but I think it not as common today as it was earlier before.

So dont rush you dont want to get hurt or hurt him. You may on two different paces . Let nature take it's course.

 

[windgates]

I wish "those words" didn't have such a serious connotation attached to them. I mean like, I love some people in my life like that I don't want to end up with or anything, but I can say that I love them because I do (and they're not just friends). I don't tell them though because I know they'd freak out and interpret that as "I want to be with you forever *smother*smother*NEVERLEAVEME*".

Sorry, didn't mean to derail. I totally agree with Lex though. It sounds like you have an awesome thing going on, make him feel special too

 

[colemanshs]

I agree with you windgates. In Spanish, they have te quiero and te amo. Te quiero is mainly used with family, close friends, etc. Te amo is the serious way to say it. Maybe you should just tell him "te quiero" and see how he reacts to that...lol.

 

[orton86]

Yeah I was with a guy and all we ever said to each other was that we both were falling for each other. We never said those three words, but that's the closest it ever came.

 

[Jimbo2184]

Thanks to everyone for your replies - it made me feel so much better to read that!

I met Simon again this week to return the favour, saw him at his workplace and just stood there cuddling him, while he told me what a crap day he'd been through. I didn't have to say much the mere fact I listened to him, and held his chin up and kissed him before I left was enough.

We never met up on that Sunday, he had a few family commitments to take care of. he asked me if the age thing bothers me, he's 28, I'm 23 - I see it as no problem myself.

He's text me all week too, we're going out bowling on Saturday and for a meal too - can't wait. I'll let you know how this works out.

Thanks guys for the support!

 

[colemanshs]

Great! I'm happy for you! Let us know how it goes.

 

[rareboy]

when I get that hug from him I feel a lot of love there - a good sign maybe?

I think you should tell him how much his hug and support mean.

I think you'll both know if there is something deeper there. Don't be afraid to say I Love You but bear in mind that it may be difficult for some guys to actually say it back.

 

[colemanshs]

I agree Danno. When most people say it during sex, it's because they're caught up in the moment and they don't actually mean that they are in love.

Sometimes, it can be sincere (when said for the first time) but a lot of time it's because of the passion for the moment.

 

[colemanshs]

I HAVE IT! So I was with my special someone yesterday and it got to the moment to where those three little words were coming. I could tell he wanted to say something and I was excited but scared because I was thinking, "Should I say it back? Is this really gonna happen?"

Then he said it: "I adore you."

As soon as he said it, I thought about this thread (why, I don't know but I did). I think that this phrase isn't as deep as the other three word phrase but it still shows that you care deeply for him. Maybe it'll work for you and maybe it won't. It totally worked for me.

Use at your own discretion and good luck!.