Hi Guys, apologies in advance!

[bi-tattoo-guy]

Hi Guys,

I'm really sorry if this isn't the right place for me to write all this but I've been doing some thinking and I need to get this off my chest and unfortunatley I don't have anyone nearby that I can talk to. If you want to leave advice or comments or whatever please do, but equally please feel free to ignore this, it's mostly so I can vent, I'm sorry it's in public!

Ok, so when Iwas at school (for any other UK people I was at public school, which may explain alot!) I got involved with a few guys. We where all at the age where you want to experiment and it was a boys only school. So we played with each other and did some sucking and so on. At the time I thought it was great and it's something that's remaind with me ever since as a happy memory, and perhaps something I'd want to do again.

Between then and now I've had several relationships with girls, most of which ended badly. All that time I always figured it would be fun to 'fool around' with a guy, for example just a hook up or one night stand or something (please note, I don't mean during the times I was seeing a girl, I just mean in general). At no point could I ever imagine myself being in a relationship with a guy or kissing a guy or having something more serious than a 'friend with benefits'.

Recently I've been struggling with depression (according to my doctor) so I've been doing a lot of thinking baout life and where I qwant to go next and so on. And last night it hit me, I actually would want to be in a relationship with a guy, and you know what, I'd kiss one too. I know that sounds petty and pathetic but I think it's a big barrier to guys who are 'curious'. Anyway I'm starting to think that I am now bi, and I feel a lot happier accepting that than I was before.

Wow, I think I just kinda came out. This is certainly the first time I've put down how I feel for anyone else, even if I don't know any of you! Huh who knew it could be that easy?!

Ok so I think thats it. Oh except for why are gay guys on TV always portrayed in that horribly stereotypical way? YOu know they sort of thing I mean. I reckon it puts alot of people off telling each other that you know what, they fancy men too.

Anyway, if you read this far, thanks for your time, and sorry again to suddenly splurge like this!

Thanks

Steve

 

[G-Lexington]

First off, congrats. Self-acceptance is great. Hope you keep moving forward with this.

As for "why are gays on TV like that", well, it's TV. They have to tell entire stories in thirty minutes or less. And as such, they have to reduce problems and characters down to their absolute bare essentials. They don't have time to present three-dimensional people to you, especially if they're not instrumental to the plot.

So if there's a "punk" kid, they give him a pink mohawk, even thought very few kids (and very few punks) have those. But you see the mohawk, you think "punk", and they can instantly save a lot of backstory. They don't have to have someone say, "I hear you're the rebellious sort" or anything like that. Mohawk equals punk.

Similarly, if they need a gay character, it's easier to make them quickly identifiable as such. That way, they can skip dialogue like, "Well, hello, wacky neighbor. Have you gotten over the break-up with your boyfriend? You know, because you're gay?" They just make him a bit effeminate, and that's the shortcut - everyone watching now knows "this guy is gay".

Problematic? Perhaps a bit. But there's certainly plenty of "straight-acting" gays out there, both famous and not famous, to counteract this convention.

Lex

 

[rareboy]

Wow, I think I just kinda came out.

There. Now you can get on with your life.

 

[trawler69]

I have a similar background to you but I never bothered beating myself up about the fact that I relate best to men and it is men that fuel my fantasies. Be happy enjoying what you enjoy, don't beat yourself up over it, that way lies depression. The more you accept yourself for who you are the happier you will be. Don't try to live up to others perceived expectations, do what makes you happy.

 

[ELAINE]

I'm happy for you. To have that feeling of acceptance is a relief isn't it? See you around JUB........

 

[smoothebottom]

Between then and now I've had several relationships with girls, most of which ended badly. All that time I always figured it would be fun to 'fool around' with a guy, for example just a hook up or one night stand or something (please note, I don't mean during the times I was seeing a girl, I just mean in general). At no point could I ever imagine myself being in a relationship with a guy or kissing a guy or having something more serious than a 'friend with benefits'.

Recently I've been struggling with depression (according to my doctor) so I've been doing a lot of thinking baout life and where I qwant to go next and so on. And last night it hit me, I actually would want to be in a relationship with a guy, and you know what, I'd kiss one too. I know that sounds petty and pathetic but I think it's a big barrier to guys who are 'curious'. Anyway I'm starting to think that I am now bi, and I feel a lot happier accepting that than I was before.

Wow, I think I just kinda came out. This is certainly the first time I've put down how I feel for anyone else, even if I don't know any of you! Huh who knew it could be that easy?!

I think you described the way alot of us bi's have transitioned over time. Consider yourself part of the group.
When I was young everything was about girls. But curiosity about hooking up with guys lurked occassionaly.
My curiosity became stronger over time and all I wanted to do is hook up with a guy. The thought of making out with a guy or dating one grossed me out though.
Over time though I began easing up. The thought of making out with guys and being in a relationship with one was hot. Though I am still selective.

 

[kooman]

youll just have to wait and see how it all plays out.

 

[KaraBulut]

bi-tattoo-guy:

What you are discovering is something that is quite common to bisexuals.

Many bisexuals do not have constant feelings for men or women. The level of their attraction to either gender increases and decreases over time. A few are able to say that they are equally attracted to both genders but most say that sometimes they are more attracted to men whlie other times they are more attracted to women.

And the other thing that you're discovering is that in the years between the teenage and twenties sexuality is like a fog clearing slowly. After you get out of high school, you have more opportunities to figure out and act upon what you feel. And like a fog clearing away, what you feel becomes clearer with time. And as you explore, you will discover where you are in that continuum between gay, bi, straight or whatever...

 

[bi-tattoo-guy]

Thanks to everyone here who has been so kind and supportive! Im really glad I worked out part of why I was feeling so bad (becasue I was denying to myself what I am) and have been able to finally admit it all to myself. I actually feel like a massive weight has been lifted. It's just a shame that it's taken me song long to do it, i mena I'll be 29 in a month or so! All that time I've missed out on!

Anyway, thanks again, I really enjoy these forums and Im glad I could finally post something.